- Our top tips for building trust in your relationship
- Setting boundaries
- Open communication
- Bumps in the road
- Need support?
- 10 GREAT ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
- 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship With Your Partner
- 1. Communicate effectively
- 2. Don’t keep secrets from each other
- 3. Learn to say no
- 4. Set boundaries
- 5. Don’t make promises you cannot keep
- 6. Do not cheat on your partner
- 7. Take responsibility for your actions
- Building Trust in a Relationship | Intensive Workshop
- Can A Relationship Survive When Trust Is Broken?
- How Do You Build Trust In A Relationship?
- Steps To Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship
- 1) Be Vulnerable
- 2) Communicate Openly
- 3) Keep Secrets
- 4) Keep Promises
- 5) Respect Each Other’s Differences
- 6) Be Forgiving
- 7) Be Supportive
- How Do You Trust After Betrayal?
- We Bring Intensive Private Couple Retreats For Reconnection
- 9 Steps To Create Trust In Your Relationship
- 11 Signs You Can Totally Trust Your Partner
Our top tips for building trust in your relationship
Being able to trust your partner is one of the most important parts of a relationship. Trust is the foundation from which a strong connection can be built. Without it, it can be hard for relationships to grow and progress to a deeper level.
Building trust is something that happens for different couples at different speeds – often over a matter of years. But there are ways to ensure you’ve created a good environment for building trust – and ways to avoid putting obstacles in the way.
Having clear boundaries together is a crucial part of starting to build trust. Boundaries help you define how much space you’re comfortable with in a relationship – be this emotionally or physically.
Boundaries can be about all kinds of things: how much time you need to yourself, how comfortable you are telling other people details about your relationship and so on. Having an understanding of one another’s boundaries is helpful when it comes negotiating your approach to the relationship.
- Define what your boundaries are. Think about what your ‘deal breakers’ would be and why they are important to you. Your partner may need to understand why you need these boundaries in place – as well as some of the things that you’re willing to be more flexible on.
- Talk about them. Set aside some time when you’re both feeling calm and relaxed and have a chat. Limit your conversations to little and often.
- Expect to have different views. It’s all about trying to reach sensible compromises. This will involve you both giving some ground to meet somewhere in the middle.
- Review them. It might sound a little business-, but sitting back down every now and then to talk how you’re getting on can help to avoid slipping back into autopilot. It can be as simple as having another conversation every six months or so.
A big part of building trust is being able to openly talk to your partner about the future of your relationship. It’s important you’re able to talk about any worries, doubts and hopes openly, as this will help you negotiate your expectations and move forward together.
- Recognise what you’ve learnt before. Most of us carry positive and negative learning from previous relationships – it’s simply a part of life. Recognising what messages we’ve learnt and the ways in which it may be affecting our behaviour is important in avoiding making the same mistakes over and over. For example, waiting for our partner to raise a particular topic may mean you don’t every get to talk about the bit that’s important to you. Challenge these messages and take the lead.
- Be open about doubts. Many people feel guilty about having doubts in a relationship, but they’re a natural part of looking ahead long term. If you have doubts, don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about them. Often, simply being able to say them out loud will help you understand them better.
- Talk about commitment. Commitment can be a tricky issue to talk about, but it’s necessary if you want to be able to face the future with confidence. If you feel it’s time to talk about commitment, set aside some time and give the conversation the attention it deserves. Think about what commitment would look to you and ask your partner to do the same. If you need more help figuring out your approach to commitment, why not take our quiz?
Bumps in the road
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Being able to deal with problems and move on is an important skill when it comes to maintaining a resilient partnership. If you need help working through disagreements or difficulties you may find the following tips useful:
- Stop – and analyse how you’re feeling. Think about how you’re feeling in relation to what’s happened and why. Think about how these feelings may be influencing your behaviour. Being able to resolve or find peace with difficult emotions anger or disappointment can be an important part of moving forward from conflict.
- Think about your own part in what went wrong. While it can be tempting to blame our partners when there’s a disagreement or fight, we’ll usually be able to see there are things we could have done better too if we’re honest with ourselves. It’s not always easy, but try to recognise that every argument has two sides.
- Talk about what happened. Take turns to communicate how you’re feeling about the issue and listen to what your partner has to say. It can be helpful to use ‘I’ phrases: ‘I feel…’, ‘I think…’, rather than ‘you’ phrases: ‘you always…’, ‘you seem to think…’. This way, you’re taking responsibility for your own feelings and your partner won’t feel they’re being attacked.
If you need some support building trust in your relationship, we can help.
10 GREAT ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
Building Trust in a Relationship
Trust is not always a given in a relationship. If you’ve been hurt in a previous relationship, it may be hard to trust when you start a new relationship. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, sometimes trust can be broken by one of the parties through their hurtful actions.
Either way, trust is not something that’s easy tocome by. It takes time and effort to build a foundation of trust in anyrelationship. Yet it’s worth it. A deeper level of trust in any relationshipbuilds a stronger bond between you and the one you love.
Hereare 10 great ways to start building trust in your relationship:
Communication is one of the biggest factors in trustand it’s something that many people don’t do well. Communicating your needsopenly and honestly makes you vulnerable to your partner. Which tells them thatyou’re trusting them with your feelings and you expect them to be gentle. And,it opens the door for them to be open and honest with you as well; building astronger bond.
Skip the text messages and emails where so much canget lost in translation. Instead, talk face-to-face where you can look in eachother’s eyes, hold hands, and make a connection.
2. Always BeEarning Trust
Just as you shouldn’t take your partner for granted,you shouldn’t take the level of trust in your relationship for granted either.Always work to earn your partner’s trust through your words and actions. Givethem every reason to trust you and no reason to doubt you by remainingconscious of your actions and how they may be perceived.
Not from each other, of course, that would destroyyour trust. Instead, keep secrets foreach other. If your partner tells you something in confidence, make sure youkeep that secret for them.
If your partner opens up to share something aboutthemselves with you that they wouldn’t want others to know, make sure you notonly keep it to yourself. Additionally,never use it against them in a disagreement.
Doing so will destroy their trustand make them feel they shouldn’t tell you things, instead, they will wantto keep secrets from you.
4. Always KeepYour Promises
Broken Promises are not just a disappointment toyour partner, they are also a trust-breaker. Keeping promises is not just aboutthe big things, taking time off work for a vacation, it’s also about thelittle things.
If they’ve asked you to do something for them, do it. Call ifyou’re going to be late, remember to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home, reschedulethose cancelled plans.
Little things can go a long way in building trust.
5. AllowYourself to Be Vulnerable
The ultimate sign that you trust someone is byopening up to them. Opening yourself upallows the other person to feel more comfortable about doing the same; therefore,building a stronger foundation of trust between you.
We all have a tendency tokeep things to ourselves at times; thoughts or ideas that we have, plans we’d to make, yet including your partner helps them feel closer to you. As ifthe two of you have your own inner-circle secrets together.
Allow yourself tobe more vulnerable where your partner is concerned to build trust in yourrelationship.
We all make mistakes, big and small, doing andsaying things we shouldn’t. Being in a trusting relationship means trustingthat your partner will be able to forgive you when you make a mistake.
Anddoing the same for them.
Some mistakes may take a little longer to get overthan others, yet in the end, you need to find your way to a place offorgiveness for the sake of your relationship and building (or rebuilding)trust.
7. Don’t BeJudgmental
No two people are a, we all have ourdifferences. It doesn’t matter why something is or isn’t as important to yourpartner as it is to you, it only matters that your relationship is a safe-zonefor expressing your differences. You need to be able to respect each other, andyour differences, without judgement in order to build a trusting relationship.
8. Become a BetterYou
When we take the time to better ourselves, we havemore to offer to our relationship. Personal, and individual, growth is not onlyimportant to you, it’s important to your relationship.
If you start to feelstagnant in your own life, your relationship will suffer as well. You may notalways grow together in the same way at the same time so it’s important torespect and support each other’s changes.
Becoming a better person will strengthen your relationship and buildyour trust as your changes are accepted and encouraged.
9. NeverArgue in Public
Arguing in public can embarrass your partner andcause a scene. Instead, take your disagreements home where you can discuss themprivately.
Embarrassing and humiliating your partner in public will quicklybreak down the lines of communication between you and destroy the trust yourpartner has in you.
It’s better to take your disagreements to a private placewhere you have a respectful and non-judgmental conversation about the issue.
10. Always BeSupportive
Being supportive of your partner will go a long wayin building the trust in your relationship. It’s important at any stage of yourrelationship to know your partner has your back even if you make mistakes ortake risks.
If you don’t feel that support, not only will it hold you back, itwill eat away at the trust your relationship already has or is trying to build.
When it feels the whole world is against you, it’s important to know thatyour partner is on your side, standing beside you no matter what.
A trusting relationship will be able to weather anystorm and come out better for it. And making a daily effort to work on yourrelationship is work that will always pay off in the end.
In addition to these 10 tips for building trust inyour relationship long-term, here are a few simple ways you can work towardbuilding trust every day:
- Flirt with your partner – when yourpartner feels loved, they never worry about whether or not you’re beingunfaithful. It removes any doubt they may have about your feelings for them andbuilds a strong bond of trust.
- Socialize together – spend time withyour friends, your partners friends, and doing things with just the two of you.You may not each other’s friends, however if you’re willing to spend timewith them, it shows you’re committed to your relationship. And making specialplans for just the two of you to spend quality time together will let yourpartner know just how important they are to you.
- Don’t hide your friendships – even ifit’s only someone at work that you don’t spend much time with, be open aboutwho you talk to and spend time with. It doesn’t have to be a “confession,” yetmore of a “this is how I spent my day” type of conversation. Your partner willknow that if you are that open about things that don’t really matter, you mustalso be open about the things that do and it will strengthen their trust inyou.
Trust is something that no relationship can ever bewithout. When trust is lost, it must either be rebuilt or the relationship willsuffer and die out. The more you work to build trust with your partner everyday, the easier it will be to recover when a mistake is made and feelings arehurt.
Struggling with trust. Has a partner cheated? Want to know how to fix it call for a FREEexploratory session with me and the horse to see how We can help you heal thepast trauma around trust and get you connected with yourself and your lovedone. 970-682-4405
7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship With Your Partner
Trust generally is the act of placing confidence and being able to depend on someone or something.
Trust is necessary for close relationships, corporate bodies and the society to function and for any person to be relatively happy. Without trust, fear sets in.
Trust is a matter of degree, and certain life experiences can impact a person’s ability to trust others. The issue of trust and relationships focuses on the question of whether the partners are faithful and honest enough to one another.
Being able to trust your partner is the most important part of being in a relationship.
To build trust in a relationship is the most paramount to relationship satisfaction. Lack of trust and honesty is the marker of a broken relationship.
What is trust in a relationship? And, why is trust important in a relationship?
Trust and relationship cannot exist in isolation and if there is a violation of trust, the relationship is bound to go kaput.
Trust is said to be the foundation of every relationship from which a strong connection can be built. Without trust between couples, relationships won’t grow and progress to a deeper level.
About 60% of people are said to be securely attached to their partners meaning that they are there when their partners need them.
Now that you know its importance, are you wondering how to build trust in a relationship?
Here are a few tips on how to build trust between you and your partner and how to earn trust back if your relationship has suffered the blow of trust issues.
1. Communicate effectively
Looking for an answer to the question of how to trust your boyfriend or spouse?
Communication is an important factor in building trust between partners in a relationship. To build trust in a relationship, partners should communicate their problems instead of sitting on them and brooding.
When it comes to communication, do it face to face. Personal and verbal communication strengthens the bond between partners in a relationship.
Don’t decide to communicate over emails or phone calls, but instead make it more personal and direct.
While communicating, make sure you keep eye contact with your partner as researchers have found out that making frequent eye contact during a discussion strengthens the bond of partners.
These small non-verbal cues also help partners underline the importance of trust in a relationship.
2. Don’t keep secrets from each other
How to trust your partner, if you feel there are some secrets plaguing your relationship?
For building trust in the relationship between you and your partner, transparency is key. No delayed honesty or secrets, if you are learning to trust again.
Trust in marriage or relationship needs openness and honesty.
If you are planning on building trust with your partner, you must not plan to keep secrets and be open with your partner. To be a trustworthy partner, you must be honest in all your dealings and conversations with your partner.
Building trust in a relationship and keeping secrets are mutually exclusive.
How do you build trust in a relationship? The simple answer to this is to refrain from keeping any secrets from your partner.
Secrets break up relationships extremely fast, so it is essential, to be honest, and upfront about issues that arise together or individually.
If you are struggling with how to overcome trust issues, practice keeping a non-judgmental, open mind towards your partner.
Having an open mind towards your partner helps them to share their deepest darkest secrets, which is a sign that they trust you.
3. Learn to say no
How to trust in a relationship if you feel stifled by giving in to your partner’s demands, reasonable or unreasonable?
It is not everything that your partner wants is what you are willing and able to provide. You don’t have to say yes every time to everything your partner wants or proposes to do.
To build trust in a relationship it is important to remember that if you don’t something they propose to do, simply say no. You shouldn’t be subjected to force a relationship.
You shouldn’t be forced to endure what you don’t . When a relationship is equality, it will be easier for both of you to move forward.
So, how to learn to trust your partner? Don’t pander to the whims of your partner just to make them happy or to build trust in a relationship, as it will ruin the relationship.
4. Set boundaries
How do you work on trust in a relationship if one of you is always overstepping boundaries?
Having clear boundaries set together is essential to building trust amongst partners.
So, how to make your boyfriend trust you if he can’t wrap his head around the concept of downtime alone or respectful boundaries? Or perhaps a girlfriend who turns skeptical about your need for time with yourself?
Setting boundaries helps in explaining how much space you’re comfortable with, in a relationship, emotionally or physically.
Boundaries can be about all sorts of things: how much time you need alone, how comfortable you are telling other people about your relationship and so on.
Having an understanding of one another’s boundaries is helpful when it comes to building trust in the relationship.
Related- Why are Modern Marriages Complicated?
5. Don’t make promises you cannot keep
How to build trust in a relationship again, if there are broken promises denting the relationship happiness?
Always keep your promises! Keep your words and your promises. If you promised your partner that you are going to do something, make sure you do it.
It makes much sense that we want to keep promises we have made to our partner, but often the little things you promised get overlooked.
Keeping your promises about little things is as important as keeping your promises about the big things if you want to build trust in a relationship.
When you are late, call your partner and explain what is holding you back, remember to pick up those items from the grocery store and remember to pay the bills on time.
Remember trust is earned with these small acts of thoughtfulness and accountability towards each other.
While these things seem small and might be overlooked, they go a very long way towards building trust in a relationship.
6. Do not cheat on your partner
Do you find yourself asking, how to trust your girlfriend or boyfriend?
It is in the natural tendency of humans to be attracted to more than one person. But this does not warrant you to cheat on your partner.
Here’s the caveat about wanting to build trust with your spouse – even if you are bored with the relationship, spunk it up or else recalibrate your priorities in life.
So, how to earn trust in a relationship? Simply put, you should not cheat on your partner because they are not fun to be with or you do not enjoy their company anymore.
To build trust in a relationship, make sure you tell your partner that you’re not happy with the way things are between the two of you, and sort it out, or else seek professional help, before considering walking the relationship.
Because, how to gain trust back after there is a breach of trust, is the most challenging question to answer. It’s best to build and maintain trust in relationships than to later wonder how to trust someone, once you are cheated.
7. Take responsibility for your actions
To build trust in a relationship, own up to your behaviors, actions, and inactions, don’t try to shift the blame to a circumstance or someone else.
It would also be a good idea to try trust building activities for couples :
- Scheduling fun together
- Engaging in deep, meaningful talks
- Coining terms of endearment for each other
- Asking for forgiveness
- Saying “I love you” more often
- Sharing a gratitude list
- Thanking your partner
- Befriending healthy couples who rub off their relationship satisfaction on you
- Building and achieving mutual goals (exercise, finances, professional success)
Related- No Strings Attached Relationship: Things You Should Know
These trust building exercises for couples will help cement trust in relationships, and also answers the question, how to fix trust issues in a relationship.
One of the ways to build trust in a relationship is, to be honest with yourself and your partner as to why you made your decisions, actions, and inactions.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Building Trust in a Relationship | Intensive Workshop
You’ve probably heard that trust is the foundation for strong relationships. Without it, relationships won’t grow or progress and will eventually fail.
And you probably know that trusting your partner is the most important part of your relationship.
But what happens if you’re in a new relationship and you don’t have trust yet? Or if you’ve lost trust? Can you get it back? If you’re struggling to build trust in a relationship, would an intensive workshop help?
Can A Relationship Survive When Trust Is Broken?
Before you can start building trust, you must understand what trust means for your partner and yourself. It’s essential that you communicate your expectations and thoughts and understand what your partner needs.
Building trust starts with sharing your hopes for the relationship and what you expect each other to do (or not do) to keep your love alive. Communicate openly with your partner and try to determine the best approach for your relationship. Take small steps, be patient, or try attending a building trust in a relationship intensive workshop.
Read on to learn what you can do to bring back trust!
How Do You Build Trust In A Relationship?
Losing trust is far easier than building it back up. If there has been a betrayal, you may feel you’ll never be able to trust your partner again.
Still, it is possible to re-establish trust if both parties in a relationship are willing to put in the effort.
If you and your partner wish to rebuild trust and make the relationship work, you should know that it will take quite a bit of time, patience, and compromise.
Steps To Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship
Trust is an essential building block in any mature relationship. If you are determined to build a deeper and healthier connection with your partner, you will have to learn how to be comfortable around your partner again if trust has been broken. Here are 7 steps you can take to rebuild trust in your relationship:
1) Be Vulnerable
Be open and vulnerable with your partner by sharing things you often keep hidden. If you’ve been hurt in previous relationships, then it’s ly you want to avoid talking about expectations because you don’t want to be hurt again. However, the only way to make the relationship work is to be real and open.
2) Communicate Openly
If you have something important to discuss, I recommend that this is always done in person. Although using text, email or even phone calls to communicate is useful, it can lead to misunderstandings as the real meaning of the message can be misinterpreted.
3) Keep Secrets
One big way to build trust is to keep your partner’s secrets if that is requested and healthy. Treasure them. Respect them. As a couple, the relationship deserves privacy.
4) Keep Promises
Make it a priority to keep your promises to your partner. Whether it’s a small thing or a big thing, keep your commitments. This shows respect, support, and reliability, which is the key to build trust.
5) Respect Each Other’s Differences
Before you can build trust, you must respect each other’s differences without judgment. Even if you don’t understand why something is important to your partner, simply respect the fact that it is important.
6) Be Forgiving
Trusting each other doesn’t mean mistakes won’t happen. When they do, the important thing is to be forgiving. Holding onto grudges erodes trust in relationships. Instead, let go of the hurt, accept the apology and move on.
7) Be Supportive
It is critical to be supportive of each other. Being supportive allows you and your partner to be authentic knowing someone has your back. It means you can have confidence knowing you’re supported whenever you take a risk, learn new things or even make mistakes.
How Do You Trust After Betrayal?
If one of you has been betrayed in the relationship, then building trust back is very difficult, but it can be done. If you both want it. In fact, trust must be repaired for the relationship to survive.
Here are three steps that can help:
- Apologize/accept an apology: when trust is broken in a relationship, the first thing to do is to acknowledge the feelings of hurt, apologize and take responsibility for what has happened. Show love, care and respect for each other. If your partner betrayed you, make an effort to accept the apology.
- Promise not to hurt again: This promise must be real. A promise that must be kept. What’s more, the promise needs to be backed up with action.
- Analyze feelings: If you were betrayed, then take time to analyze and understand your feelings. Don’t deny or dismiss hurt feelings. Instead, ask yourself, “How deeply am I hurt?” “How long do I want to keep this feeling of hurt?” “What do I want from this relationship?”
Trust must be earned. It takes time. Especially if there has been a betrayal. But it doesn’t have to be impossible. Approach your relationship and each other with respect and understanding. Be open. Be vulnerable. Be real. Do what you say you will do. Stay true to yourself, and your expectations and a trusting relationship will grow.
We Bring Intensive Private Couple Retreats For Reconnection
It is only when you have trust and love, that your relationship will thrive. Unfortunately, many couples struggle with overcoming intimacy issues and building a stable and trusting relationship. Everybody needs a little push from time to time, and reaching out to experienced relationship coaches may be just what you and your partner need to make the relationship work.
If you would help to build deep trust in your relationship, then contact PIVOT. By attending a couple relationship management workshop, you will learn how to build deeper connections and rebuild trust. Our relationship intensive retreats and our relationship coaching designed for individuals and couples can give you the tools you need to facilitate lasting change. Give us a call!
9 Steps To Create Trust In Your Relationship
Trust is a big one. It's the foundation for free, uninhibited, blossoming, giving, and genuine love. It's also the basis for a peaceful relationship in which each partner feels heard, supported and they can simply be themselves without fear of judgment.
Trust is a key player in many areas of life. However, in this post, I want to share with you nine steps to create real trust in your love life:
1. Trust that who you are and what you have to say is equally important to your partner.
This is really a question of your own feelings of self-worth: Do you trust that you're worthy? Many people I talk with have a tendency to put their partner (or sometimes themselves) up on a pedestal, therefore creating emotional or spiritual inequality in the relationship.
This leads to the constant feeling that you have to catch up to your partner or that you have to prove your own worth. As long as you're caught up believing that your partner is somehow superior to you, you are constantly operating from a place of personal lack, which makes trust impossible.
In order to build trust, it is fundamental that both people consider each other equally valuable.
2. Communicate your needs and ask your partner to do the same.
You can try to anticipate another person’s needs, but you never actually know what’s going on unless you've really let someone in and expressed your desires out loud.
Voicing your needs is a really empowering experience that will help you create confidence in the relationship, which in turn deepens trust.
Another important component of this is that meeting someone else’s needs and giving to someone you love, fosters a greater sense of value and dependability in the relationship.
3. Spend quality time with each other.
Do you eat in front of the TV every night? Is your phone never on silent (even while you make love)? Do you rarely go on adventures together? It’s time to shake things up and give your partner and yourself some good old quality time where your focus is on connecting, exchanging, tuning in, and appreciating each other. Spending quality time together reawakens a sense of curiosity and excitement about the other person, which fosters a deeper sense of connection and trust.
4. Create a joint vision of your ideal life together.
This is a really fun exercise I to do with my coaching clients: Write a few paragraphs together describing what your ideal life looks .
How do you want to feel in the morning? How do you see yourselves connecting today and in 5, 10, 30 years? What do you do for fun and pleasure? What do you want the physical parts of your life to look ( your home, your travels, your hobbies, your circle of friends)? Actively creating your future together bonds enormously.
5. Check in with your respective value systems.
If each of you wrote down your three top values, is there resonance in the ones you picked? Basically, are you building your life and your expectations on the same pillars? Do you have common roots that will inform the way you make decisions in your life? Even if your values don’t totally overlap, it’s a good idea to know your partner’s values so you understand his or her intuitive processes and judgment calls.
6. Give your partner the space he or she needs.
Trust can't be forced; it has to be cultivated over time. Giving someone else personal space allows them to reflect and fuel themselves.
Plus, they can realize on their own how much they miss you and enjoy your company. In other words, you are giving them the chance to come to you, which is a very different way of forming a deep connection and trust.
Love and attention that is given freely is the most beautiful kind.
7. Never take each other for granted.
Make it a regular practice to check in with yourself to notice what you love about your partner and what they're already doing and giving to you.
Sometimes, especially in a stressed-out world, it’s easy to notice what your partner hasn’t done yet, what he or she could do more of, and where he or she screwed up. Make sure you also pay attention to the things that DO work and that your partner DOES do wonderfully.
And let them know this as well. Gratitude is key to continuously invoke feelings of trust and appreciation for one another.
8. Dare to talk about money (and other uncomfortable things).
Couples often feel uncomfortable bringing up money, because it frequently comes with a sense of uneasiness and potential disagreement. However, money is real and something we have to deal with. As long as these fundamental-yet-tricky areas are silenced, they remain unclear in your relationship.
This makes it really difficult to trust, simply because money is a big component of safety and freedom — both things that are instrumental in life.
If you can be on the same page about money, it is much easier to trust that you have equal ambitions going forward and that you are truly pulling on the same string as a team.
9. Know when it’s time to leave.
I don’t even to include this one, because of course the primary emphasis should always be on making something work, but unfortunately, this too needs to be addressed.
If you torture yourself through an unhappy and heartbreaking relationship for too long, one in which you lose trust and begin to doubt yourself heavily, it will make it that much harder to trust again in the next relationship that's really meant for you.
That’s why it's really important to be honest with yourself if you can really fully trust the person you're with. This is less a head question and more of a heart question.
Be gentle with yourself. I know this is a big topic. Let me know in the comments below which of these points resonated the most with you!
11 Signs You Can Totally Trust Your Partner
Trust is one of the most important qualities necessary for a serious relationship—but it can also be difficult to know that you have it. How can you know that you can trust your partner, and that they trust you? Luckily, there are some telltale signs, according to relationship experts.
Being honest about all of her thoughts and feelings is one of the biggest signs you can trust your partner, says Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and author of The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages.
“Openness and vulnerability in conversation—their willingness to really open up their heart and share what they’re really thinking, even if it puts them at risk for ridicule and being criticized for you—that is a scary thing in a lot of relationships,” she says.
That said, just because your partner doesn’t immediately jump to tell you her thoughts doesn’t mean she isn’t willing to share. Talking helps some people process their emotions, but other people need alone time to sort out their feelings.
Even if it takes a couple hours (or even a couple days) for your partner to open up, that emotional discussion shows a deep level of trust in a relationship—one of the signs your relationship is solid as a rock.
Admitting small screw-ups— when your partner put the wrong type of gas in the car—shows that he’s willing to be honest and trusts you when he’s vulnerable.
“If you can’t take responsibility for the small things, you can’t take responsibility for the big things,” says mental health counselor Aniesa Schneberger, MA, LMHC, founder of Tampa Life Change. “When we hide things and lie and get defensive, we’re afraid to let that person in.
” So a sincere apology shows the desire to build trust in a relationship. On the other hand, these red flags show your marriage could be headed for divorce.
Sex isn’t the only sign of physical intimacy in a relationship. Holding your hand and giving you a kiss in the morning show that you have a deep connection and that there's trust in a relationship.
“How a couple is intimate with each other physically says a lot about how much they trust each other on a deeper level,” Schneberger says. “Coming behind you to give you a hug when you’re cooking is intimacy. It’s not just the sexual act of sex—it’s those little things.
” Learn more about the love languages everyone needs to know.
“It’s become very common for people to hear when they get married, ‘Keep a bank account on the side so if he flakes out, you can support yourself,’” Feldhahn says. “A sign of trust is if they’re willing to totally put themselves ‘at risk’ and be very open about finances.
” The act of hiding money from your partner shows that, at a certain level, you expect the worst from your partner. Even if you have separate bank accounts, being open about finances shows you depend on each other and trust each other enough to be left vulnerable.
Don't miss these other surprising secrets of happy couples.
Accept your partner’s gestures of faithfulness if you’ve been feeling insecure.
For instance, if you feel threatened about her attractive business partner but she offers to introduce you to him, she’s going your way to prioritize your relationship.
“It’s always important to show your partner that they come first,” Schwartz says. “It’s just going your way to make sure your partner isn’t feeling insecure and untrusting.”
Turning around from doing the dishes or resisting the urge to get up for a glass of water during a discussion are good indicators that he cares about what you’re saying. “The front of the body facing the front of the other person’s body is a big indicator of trust,” Schneberger says.
Closed-off body language crossing your arms are putting your hands on your hips could do the opposite and tell your partner you’re not interested, she says. Even if that guarded position is just a comfortable stance for you, try to keep your body language open to show you’re listening.
This is just one of the daily habits of couples in healthy relationships.
Sitting in silence while you’re venting about your bad day shows that your partner respects your feelings. “A lot of times we try to fill the space with suggestions or ideas of how to help that person,” Schneberger says.
“That often doesn’t help, because the other person just wants to be heard.” If you’re the one doing the listening, try not to let the silence make you uncomfortable. When she’s let out her feelings, ask if there’s anything you can do to help rather than immediately volunteering your advice.
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Often—though not always—people get suspicious of a partner because they can imagine themselves creating the problems they accuse their partner of, Schwartz says. So if there's trust in a relationship, he won’t give off those skeptical vibes.
“You show support by displaying that you do, in fact, believe and trust that person by taking their word at face value, not grilling them,” Schwartz says.
“Wholehearted acceptance of what that person is saying or asking follow-up questions that show interest in what happened as opposed to what did or did not happen show trust.”
Originally Published in Reader's Digest