- 8 Ways Of Overcoming Jealousy In Your Relationship
- Understand the Consequences: It Is Insulting
- Embrace Your Originality: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
- Fear Is Okay– You Will Survive
- Distinguish Between Fiction and Reality
- Love Yourself by Understanding What You Offer
- Assess the Relationship: Why Did It Start?
- Talk About It to Determine the Cause of Jealousy
- Shift Your Focus to Something More Positive
- Download this free eBook from TheHopeLine® to learn more about healthy principles of dating
- 8 Healthy Ways to Deal with Jealousy
- Tips for Romantic Relationships
- General Tips
- Related Articles
- Understanding And Overcoming Jealousy – Danyel Carinzia
- 7 Strategies on Dealing with Jealousy in Intimate Relationships
- Why Do People Get Jealous?
- 7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships
- What does jealousy in a relationship mean?
- 1) It may sound trite, but how about you believe your partner?
- 2) Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others
- 3) It might be a terrible thought, but be prepared to lose them
- 4) Don't – just don't – play games
- 5) Stop confusing make-believe with reality
- 6) Lengthen the leash
- 7) Use your imagination to make you feel better, not worse
- Do you think you're driving your partner away but can't seem to stop?
8 Ways Of Overcoming Jealousy In Your Relationship
The green eyed monster is an expression that depicts jealousy negatively. While there is a lot to say about being envious of another, there is even more to say about those who experience jealousy in a relationship.
Over 77% of women have admitted to being jealous in their relationships, but the large measurement of this should not detract from the real issue at hand nor necessarily be viewed as negative. Jealousy is natural in a relationship, but whereas men must have that emotion triggered by an action, women seem to experience it without any real indication at all.
Thankfully, there are countless ways to combat this jealousy, regain confidence within oneself, and to grow from the experience in a way that will subdue that green eyed monster forever.
Understand the Consequences: It Is Insulting
Ladies, it is understandable that this emotion cannot be controlled the majority of the time. Surely the actions that ensue from this emotion are able to be controlled, but the feeling tends to overcome all other internal feelings.
However, one of the most effective ways to subdue this emotion in an attempt to abolish it, is to realize just how insulting it is for your partner. Chances are, your partner did not provide you with a reason to feel insecure nor jealous, so it is best to understand the emotional toll this is taking on them.
When you feel a sense of compassion and empathy, other issues seem to vanish.
Embrace Your Originality: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
When you compare yourself to others in terms of physical looks, humor, affluence, and success, you are detracting from all of the wonderful things that you are. Being original is the greatest thing that you can be and though you might not believe this, there are people who desire to be just you as well.
When you #compare yourself to others, you're detracting from the wonderful things that you are. Click To Tweet
Fear Is Okay– You Will Survive
Being afraid to lose the person you are with is inevitable.
However and though it may not be what you desire to do, creating an understanding that every action has a reason and that every outcome has a happy ending will allow you to simply live for the day rather than a future you are apprehensive about. Additionally, this jealousy might prematurely end the relationship, so it is best to be mindful of that.
Distinguish Between Fiction and Reality
The human mind is very convincing and endlessly tricky. Often times, you are able to believe the things that you are the most fearful of.
Essentially, if you imagine that your partner is unfaithful, your brain’s natural reaction is to make sense of the overproduction of the fear and stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline, by creating scenarios in your mind that are untrue. Understand that what you imagine is not reality and remain aware of that fact each day.
Love Yourself by Understanding What You Offer
Once you realize the positive attributes about yourself, an understanding will be created that you are special and worthy enough for anyone, let alone your partner.
Compile a list of what you enjoy about yourself and even enlist the help of your family or friends.
Doing this will allow you to realize your worth and you will be surprised about how many qualities there are to appreciate about you.
Assess the Relationship: Why Did It Start?
Much determining the positive characteristics of yourself, you should repeat the same process with your relationship. Answer the questions:
- Why did the relationship start?
- What makes it so special?
- Why did you and your partner chose one another over anyone else?
Answering these questions will strengthen both of you as a couple while concurrently abolishing your jealousy that has stemmed from uncertainty.
Talk About It to Determine the Cause of Jealousy
Hiding your jealousy will only weaken the relationship and put you in a dangerous spiral of self-dis, sadness, and continual envy. The best route to take is to share your feelings with your partner. From there, assess where your jealousy could be coming from:
- Does your partner have a lot of female friends?
- Did they once give you a reason to feel protective?
- Are you battling low self-esteem?
All of these questions should be answered together and solutions should be proposed that will abate this problem.
Hiding your #jealousy will only weaken the relationship. Talk about it to determine the cause. Click To Tweet
Shift Your Focus to Something More Positive
Despite your efforts, jealousy sometimes continues to linger in your mind. This natural reaction is nothing to be ashamed of, but shifting your focus is of the utmost importance for when you feel as if you are in a losing battle.
Consider taking up a hobby or really concentrating on being happy with your partner. Do more activities together, talk more together, and just share an honest policy in all that you do.
Changing your environment is often the best way to form these life-changing habits.
If jealousy continues to linger, don't be ashamed, instead shift your focus. #shiftyourfocus Click To Tweet
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, relationships are difficult. Women are creatures of habit, but few understand that negative habits result in irregular brain patterns that will only further contribute to an unfavorable lifestyle.
Being mindful of yourself is always of the utmost importance while being open with your partner is crucial in abolishing certain mindsets entirely.
Welcoming your individuality and what you have to offer is the most advantageous action, and altering your concentration to be more positive will lift the concerns if all else fails.
Jealousy is natural and often inevitable, but it does not need to be a life sentence if you make necessary changes and accept it for what it simply is. You are not a green eyed monster but are instead a woman in tune with her feelings, a factor that is more admirable than unfavorable.
Sonya struggled for many years in finding ‘the one’ for her and went through many difficult relationships as a result. After nearly giving up, she met Greg to whom she is now happily married.
She runs a blog at HerAspiration.
com in which she recalls some of the bad experiences she had while dating, and hopes that by sharing her experiences she is able to make the journey for love a little bit easier for other women out there.
Download this free eBook from TheHopeLine® to learn more about healthy principles of dating
8 Healthy Ways to Deal with Jealousy
Jealousy isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s human nature. It’s natural to feel jealous from time to time.
Jealousy becomes problematic “when we act out in jealousy or we wallow in it,” said Christina Hibbert, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in Flagstaff, Ariz.
It becomes problematic when it starts to consume you and “creeps into every aspect of your life,” said Kathy Morelli, LPC, a psychotherapist with a marriage and family counseling practice in Wayne, N.J. And you find yourself feeling bitter and angry often, she said.
One of the most common types of jealousy is romantic jealousy, she said. We also tend to feel jealous about others’ successes, strengths, lifestyles and relationships, Hibbert said.
For instance, we might believe someone’s life is much easier or more comfortable than ours. “We see only the good in their life and only the ‘bad’ in ours.” Or we might believe our best friend has a better relationship with another friend.
Social networking sites – such as – also can trigger jealousy. “[T]oday our online and offline worlds overlap, so there’s a lot more confusion and complexity in relationships and more ways to compare ourselves to others,” Morelli said.
Insecurity often underlies jealousy. “We feel threatened, or less than or not good enough,” Hibbert said. “[W]e fear that someone else’s strengths mean something negative about us.”
(Jealously also may be the result of your earlier experiences . But more on that later.)
Below, you’ll find general tips for dealing with jealousy, along with specific suggestions for jealousy in romantic relationships.
Tips for Romantic Relationships
Assess your relationship.
“The best way to overcome jealousy is to first take a look at your romantic relationship,” Morelli said. For instance, consider if your relationship is built on trust, respect and love, and if your partner’s behavior reflects their words, she said.
Are they honest with you? If they’re not, naturally, this can trigger or perpetuate your insecurities, said Morelli, also author of the books BirthTouch® for Pregnant and Postpartum Couples, Perinatal Mental Illness for Childbirth Professionals, and Healing for Parents in the NICU.
“If you are in an insecure relationship, expect to have your jealousy buttons pushed. But no one can tell you what to do. If you stay, most ly you’ll feel bad and jealous sometimes.”
If you’re in a secure and solid relationship, and you’re still feeling jealous, look at yourself and explore your own experiences.
“Research on the subject of jealousy in a romantic relationship indicates that a person’s basic attachment style underlies their tendencies towards jealous reactions,” Morelli said.
People who developed secure attachments in their early years – between themselves and their caregivers – tend to be less jealous and dependent, have higher self-esteem and have less feelings of inadequacy than people with an insecure attachment style, she said.
Morelli suggested asking yourself these questions:
- “Do you have a pervasive feeling of emptiness or lack of self-worth?
- How was your relationship with your early caregivers?
- Was the atmosphere in your home warm and loving sometimes, but also critical?
- Were you raised in a repressive atmosphere?
- Were your early caregivers unreliable?”
Attachment style is malleable, she said. Later experiences and circumstances can influence your style. For instance, a skilled therapist can help you build self-esteem and work through your concerns.
Seek out other support.
Have interests outside your relationship, Morelli said. Talk to a friend about your jealous feelings, “but don’t do this to the exclusion of talking to your partner.”
Recognize your jealousy.
“When we name the jealousy, it loses its power, because we are no longer letting it shame us,” Hibbert said. Acknowledging that you’re jealous opens the door to learning, she said.
Learn from your jealousy.
We can use feelings of jealousy as inspiration to grow, said Hibbert, also author of the book This is How We Grow. For instance, you realize that the reason you get jealous every time your friend plays her guitar is because that’s also something you’d to do. Rather than wallowing in that jealousy, you sign up for guitar lessons, she said.
Let it go.
Tell yourself that you don’t need this emotion in your life, and you’re relinquishing it, Hibbert said. Then “breathe deeply, and imagine it flowing through you the wind. Repeat as often as it takes to truly let it go.”
Manage your emotions healthfully.
“Practice mindfulness to calm your runaway emotions,” Morelli said. For instance, she suggested readers tune into your body to identify how you’re feeling, take several deep breaths and try to detach from the intensity of those emotions.
If your jealousy involves your romantic relationship, share your feelings with your partner after you calm down, she said.
To process your emotions, she also suggested journaling, dancing to your favorite music and taking a walk.
Remind yourself of your positive traits.
Hibbert gave this example: “She is really good at playing with her kids, and I’m not so good. But I’m great at reading to them, and they love that about me.” This reminds us that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, she said.
Again, jealousy is a normal reaction. It becomes problematic when it becomes persistent. When you find yourself feeling jealous, recognize what’s happening and delve deeper into your relationships and yourself.
8 Healthy Ways to Deal with Jealousy
Understanding And Overcoming Jealousy – Danyel Carinzia
Spying in someone else’s cell phone is probably the classic thing about jealous people’s actions, as well as piercing questions, who you meet with, or why you come later or have no time, without others, or less devotion than before.
The question is always, are there any messages or phone calls that indicate that there is another person — to find a foundation for jealousy?
Mental jealousy is characterized primarily by such control constraints. Stealth, social media stalking, cell phone control, putting your best friend as a spy, googling the alleged competition — these are behaviours that go beyond the healthy jealousy.
Often jealousy also appears in supposedly harmless situations. When talking at a party, at a business lunch, or unknown numbers on the phone, which have a pointless background.
Instead of questioning factually and constructively and accepting the simple answer, we continue to dig and search.
The feeling that there could be more to it doesn’t let go of those affected
The partner’s feelings of guilt are triggered, and you want to get rid of this unbridled anxiety — at the same time repeatedly express the desire to control what can’t be controlled.
Often there is a concrete “trigger” for jealousy, coupled with experience from the past and/or the history of the partner.
An unknown number on the mobile phone display, looks, too long conversations, the business trip or supposedly groundless overtime, previously cheated or knowing that the partner used to be unfaithful in other relationships.
The cause, however, is to look elsewhere, in the past of the jealous person
Often, the reasons for jealousy are in childhood. Lack of attention from the parents can be a cause of jealousy, but also sibling rivalry and the feeling of being subordinated to it. Due to lack of time or disinterest, a deficit has already been created here.
Those who grew up with siblings and always had to compete for the favour of their parents are more susceptible to jealousy than single children who have grown up in stable and loving relationships.
Even those who had to watch one parent in childhood cheat the other often develop a disturbed trust in their relationships.
The experiences in one’s love relationships can also play a significant role in the development of jealousy. Actual breaches of trust due to cheating as well as own infidelity, but also the devaluation of the person can lead to less faith in oneself and the partner.
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7 Strategies on Dealing with Jealousy in Intimate Relationships
If you are in a relationship, it is natural to feel a little jealous at times, especially if you have very strong feelings for your partner. Occasional jealousy is okay and may even add a little excitement and zest to the relationship. But what to do when this jealousy becomes more frequent and intense and even overwhelming?
Why Do People Get Jealous?
The common evolutionary explanation for jealousy is that men fear sexual infidelity as they want to be absolutely certain that their offspring is actually theirs. Women, are more concerned with emotional infidelity, because they are concerned with their children's survival and want to make sure that their partner supports their children, provide and protect them.
Today more than ever before, people are afraid of being rejected, not accepted, not being loved and worry about losing people they care for. These feelings of loss are natural.
Yet, again, when thought and feelings of jealousy are extreme, they stem partially as a result of insecurities. When fear lessens, so does jealousy.
If you experience jealousy very frequently, here are some strategies that will help you out:
1. Don't Act On Your Feelings
It is hard not to act the way you are feeling. The feeling of jealousy or any other feelings is not the problem, the real trouble starts when you start acting on that jealousy and let it consume you. You can feel the feeling, but do not have to act on it. Remember that your better half is a human being that is actively interacting with the world around him/her.
That world contains people of gender that they sexually prefer but that does not mean that they will cheat on you with them. There is a reason why they are in an intimate relationship with you. If they wanted to date other people, they would have done so.
So, the next time you feel jealous, accept the feelings, yet change the way you think about the situation and be reasonable and wise.
2. Calm Down and Stay Vulnerable
To love is to be vulnerable. George R.R. Martin said it best “The more people you love, the weaker you are.” What you need to do is to open your heart to your partner, trust whatever comes and keep calm.
Yes, it is not easy, but you need to be willing to accept what is beyond your control and trust yourself to deal with the unknown. Remember, you are in the relationship, because you decide to love.
It is a choice you make to love your partner and at the same time accept the risks without any qualms or jealousy.
3. Express Your Jealousy in A Soft Way
If you feel that your partner is doing something that is making you jealous, you can express how you feel and talk to them in a mature way. You can also communicate it with humor, diplomacy or directly as long as it is respectful. If you are humorous, you can joke about how insanely jealous you are when your partner pays attention to someone else.
Laugh with them as you say this, because it will take the pressure off the topic and will get the message across. When you are diplomatic, you can let them know that you love them a lot and know that they will never cheat on you.
And if you are direct, just tell them that you trust them, yet cannot control your feelings and want them to consider how you feel.
One of the main reasons why people get jealous is that they have low self-esteem and insecurity issues. They tend to think that they are not good enough, their partner will realize this, and will leave them for someone else.
You need to know that there is a reason why your partner d you in the first place and got together with you. If you need some reaffirmation or appreciation, don't hesitate to ask for that too (within reason of-course).
The next time you feel jealous, remember that your partner is with you because they want to be with you because of your positive qualities.
People tend to act jealous because of previous relationships too. You might have been hurt before and they might have cheated on you. You have to move beyond your past and realize that you are that relationship and in a new one. The person that you are with is not your ex-partner.
Understanding the roots, triggers and reasons for your jealousy is an important part of personal growth and maintaining a healthy relationship.
Whenever you start feeling jealous, make a conscious effort to heal your old wounds, be more resilient so that your past does not affect your present and future.
You must trust your partner, because you have no other option if you want to have a happy and successful relationship. No one can control your partner and you have to let jealousy go. Having some control is not a bad thing, yet trying to control somebody for things over which you have no control, is problematic. Act in a loving manner in spite of feelings of jealousy you experience.
The best thing that you can do is trust yourself. Trust yourself that you can love deeply and without any regrets.
Trust yourself that your love will act the anchor that will prevent your relationship from floating away. This is not easy, but ultimately when you trust yourself, you trust whatever comes.
You feel confidence that you will be able to manage even the most difficult situation, including a breakup or rejection.
In conclusion, jealousy may be destructive and serves as a poison in intimate relationships. If you follow the above suggestions and strategies when feeling jealous, you will be in a better position to build your relationship and deepen the trust.
- Moshe Ratson (MBA, MS MFT, LMFT) is a Licensed Couples/Marriage Family Therapist and Executive Coach based in New York City.
- Check Moshe’s Ratson blog on his website
7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships
“7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships” courtesy of Ρanayotis
“It is not love that is blind, but jealousy.“
“He's so jealous, I have to face the wall in restaurants!”
Kevin sat beside her, rather meekly.
“Mark, can you please make him understand that I love him,” Katherine continued. “I don't want anybody else. But his insane jealousy is going to tear us apart unless something changes.”
Kevin admitted that when they went out in public, he would insist she sit toward a wall so that she couldn't see (or be seen by) other potential attractive mates.
If he caught her chatting or joking with male neighbours or colleagues, he would assume right off she was having an affair.
She had stopped seeing a really good male friend she'd known since childhood and he'd “banned” her from chatting to a 70-year-old married man who lived next door. This was maddening.
His jealousy was all-encompassing; from attractive male movie stars to male teachers of her young children.
At first (before realizing how destructive it was to become), she'd been flattered by the intensity of his jealous attentions – after all, it showed he cared, right? But the constant anxiety, loss of her freedom, and sheer clinginess (he would text every half-hour if she went out with a girlfriend) were now torture to her and also to him.
Most people feel a little jealous sometimes, especially when they have strong feelings of attraction and love for their partner, and a little jealousy occasionally can add zest to a relationship. But just as a spark can illuminate a room, a blaze can burn it to the ground. So what's behind jealousy?
What does jealousy in a relationship mean?
At the root of jealousy lies fear of loss. many jealous partners, Kevin feared loss of their relationship, loss of self-respect, even loss of 'face' fearing how his friends would see him if he were to be 'made a fool of'. Fear makes for feelings of insecurity.
When fear lessens, so does jealousy. More than feelings of fear, jealousy also leads to a smorgasbord of other emotions such as anger, hate of love 'rivals', disgust (sometimes self-disgust), and hopelessness.
So why might a person be jealous? Kevin's ex-wife had cheated on him and he felt he'd never got over this. 'Once bitten, twice shy', he was now creating imaginary threats. We're told it's great to have 'a good imagination', but he was using his to torment himself.
Of course, if your partner is continually sexually active with other people, then jealousy is totally justified. And perhaps the whole relationship needs to be re-evaluated.
But here I want to focus on helping you if you feel unduly jealous (that's to say, there is no real or proper evidence that your partner is or has been unfaithful to you). These tips also focus on sexual jealousy rather than, say, being jealous of the amount of time your partner spends with their mother or kids.
So how can we start to break the jealousy cycle, reclaim self-control, and stop driving our partners and ourselves crazy?
1) It may sound trite, but how about you believe your partner?
Yes, take them at their word. If they do lie to you, then they are not making a fool anyone but themselves – remember that. It's been said that trust is the cornerstone of any relationship.
It's very insulting for your partner to have you always doubting their word or decency of behaviour. Constant questioning by you can even be as destructive as having an affair in the long run.
You'll still distrust your partner for a while ( sheer habit), but find the strength to start acting as if you believe them. If you've been checking that they really were where they said they've been, then stop doing that. When they tell you they love you, believe them.
2) Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others
Some (not all) jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. “How could they love me? I don't understand how someone them could be attracted to someone me!” We none of us are supposed to understand exactly why someone loves us. Does the Mona Lisa painting know why it is so valuable? Of course, you may be able to appreciate attractive qualities in yourself, but consider this:
There are better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a 'product'.
If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have that they couldn't even explain – some deep part of your humanity they connected to which transcends looks, youth, wealth, and so forth.
Some of the most loved people in history have been well down the list when it comes to looks or wealth. Stop trying to 'work out' why they can possibly you.
3) It might be a terrible thought, but be prepared to lose them
I said that not all jealousy is driven by low self-esteem; and that's right. People with quite high self-esteem can experience intense jealousy if they tend to feel they themselves must always be the centre of things.
People this tend to look at other people as material property. And maybe they just don't want to share that 'property', even as far as letting their partner innocently smile or socialize with another person.
Perhaps as a kid they were a little spoilt.
But people are not objects or toys to be constantly guarded. To love someone properly, we need to be prepared to lose them. What? Am I mad? Sounds it, you might think (and I do have my moments), but hear me out.
Anger, fear, and jealousy drive out love; and love needs a strong dash of fearlessness to flourish.
Okay, so you fear losing your loved one to someone else (and possibly fear how this will make you feel about yourself).
If you must keep using your imagination, use it to imagine the 'worst' happening and you still being okay; not just surviving, but thriving in this imagined scenario.
Fantasize about how well you'd react, how whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Write down 10 positive ways you'd to respond and how you'd build your life up even better if this relationship were to end.
Fear is much greater when we feel that 'all our eggs are in one basket'. Don't build your whole life around any one person.
“How can I live without you?” is too daunting – really imagine how you would, if you had to, live without this person.
But don't leave this list lying around to be found by your partner, as this may start them feeling insecure. :-/
4) Don't – just don't – play games
Jealousy is excruciatingly uncomfortable. People sometimes try to make themselves feel better by trying to get their partner jealous. Don't do this.
Flirting with other men or women all the time in front of your partner; constantly saying how attractive, fun, and witty someone you work with is; and going your way to talk about past lovers just demeans you and won't make either of you feel better in the long run.
This isn't to say you have to pretend that no other attractive people exist in the world, but you can acknowledge this without using it as relationship ammunition.
If your partner is ever unfaithful to you, that is a reflection of them, not you; and if this were to occur, it's better that they don't have the 'ammo' to turn around and say: “Well, you were always talking about…
” or “Can you blame me? Because you were always flirting outrageously with the auto repair man (girl who works in the bar)…” Keep your dignity long-term and ditch the game playing.
5) Stop confusing make-believe with reality
Jealousy, many psychological problems (from hypochondria to paranoia), is driven by the destructive use of the imagination. The imagination is great…if you use it for your own benefit, not if it messes with your mind. Stephen King has a stellar career from making stuff up and writing about it.
But he distances himself (thankfully for him!) from stuff he creates in his head. He doesn't believe everything he writes is real just because he imagined it. Right now, I can imagine an alien invasion headed right towards Earth.
I can vividly 'see' the pesky aliens about to land the mother ship in my local park, but I don't believe it.
Stop trusting your imagination so much. Think about it:
- Your partner is home later than you thought they were going to be.
- You start to imagine them having an intimate drink with that handsome guy you saw working in her office or that luscious sister of his new gym partner you happened to see one time.
- You become angry, upset, frightened – without having any evidence that what you imagined is real.
- They come home and you react 'weirdly' by being very cold or you have an outburst of anger toward them.
- They become defensive and angry back in turn.
I recall seeing a video of a dog becoming very angry – with its own leg. The more its leg moved, the angrier it got with it – not realizing that it, the dog, was moving the leg. We laugh when we see a dog do this, but psychologically people do a variation of this all the time.
When you stop getting emotional just because you've imagined something, you'll take a hefty step toward regaining control of that jealousy.
6) Lengthen the leash
Okay, since we're talking canines, here's another dog reference. Start relaxing with lengthening the 'leash'. If your partner wants to spend the weekend with his or her friends, let them. Keeping them 'imprisoned' will only build their desire to escape your possessiveness.
Let them have their freedom (and no, this is not the same as letting them walk all over you). If you are out with them, let them chat to their attractive colleague (bearing in mind that they may not find their colleague as attractive as you imagine).
If you suspect your partner is trying to make you jealous, then short circuit this by relaxing about it; but how?
7) Use your imagination to make you feel better, not worse
Try this exercise:
Close your eyes and relax. Now think about the type of scenario that makes you the most jealous. Is it knowing your partner is out and you imagining them with someone else? Is it seeing them talking and laughing with someone else?
Now, breathing deeply and focusing on relaxing different parts of your body in turn, just imagine seeing yourself looking calm, relaxed, even disinterested in that type of situation.
Because ultimately in life we only have ourselves to answer to, and you can only truly control yourself. Visualize your partner doing all the things that made you feel jealous and see yourself not responding with jealousy, but rather with calm detachment.
The more you can do this, the less jealousy will be able to mess with you.
It might sound strange to say that jealousy is more about self-love than real love for another person, but jealousy does make us focus more on our own feelings than the feelings of the other person.
Overcoming jealousy isn't about making your partner face the wall in restaurants or trying to prevent them ever looking at anyone else; it has to be about you managing your own emotions.
I worked with Kevin hypnotically; worked with his traumatic memories of having been cheated on by someone who wasn't Katherine and, bit by bit, got him to lengthen the leash. Now, I'm happy to say, his beautiful fiancée sits with her back to the wall at restaurants because, as Kevin says: “Why deny other men the chance to admire a beautiful face.”
Do you think you're driving your partner away but can't seem to stop?
Try our Overcoming Jealousy audio session here.