100+ Mean and Insulting Pick-Up Lines

Anti Pick Up Lines | LaffGaff, Home Of Fun And Laughter

100+ Mean and Insulting Pick-Up Lines

Sometimes the element of surprise is your best form of attack. And that’s no different when it comes to pick up lines. So give these anti pick up lines a try and see how you get on. Good luck (you might need it)!

Excuse me, do you have a pen?

Then you’d better get back to it before the farmer notices you’re gone.

Woah!

You look I need a drink.

What’s a girl you doing in a nice place this?

Ask me if I’m a tree.

Are you a tree?

No.

I’d to get you wet.

At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.

Would you have sex with me for $100?

I could really use the money.

I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it’s a diet coke.

Your name must be trigonometry, because you make me want to cry.

Are there people following you?

Because I’m seeing someone behind your back.

How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

I don’t know.

About ten pounds less than you, fat-ass.

Your name must be Calculus Homework, because I have no interest in doing you.

Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?

They must have been much drunker than I am.

Hey girl, are you a broom?

Why, because I swept you off your feet?

No, because you’re really hairy.

Are you from Tennessee?

Because you look inbred.

Are you a banker?

Because you need to leave me a loan.

My fridge is hotter than you.

From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.

Are you a red light because stop.

If you were a math test, I would cheat on you.

When I see your face there’s not a thing that I would change.

Except the direction I’m walking in.

Camel called.

He wants his toe back.

Do you wine?

Because that’s all your doing.

Girl, I know your wearing Nike, but I just won’t do it.

Do you know Santa?

Because you’re not what I wanted for Christmas.

So how many cats do you have?

Are you a computer technician?

Because you turn my hardware into software.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Because it looks you landed on your face.

Did the Lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

Are you the sun?

Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.

Are you a fortune cookie?

Because you’re always wrong.

You’re Newton’s laws.

Not perfect, but good enough.

Are you bad WiFi?

Because I’m feeling no connection here.

Are you a cigarette?

Because when I’m done with your butt I’m gonna throw it away.

Are you a fire detector?

Because you’re loud and annoying.

If I could rearrange the alphabet…

I’d leave it the way it is.

Do you want to dance?

Yeah, sure.

Great, then I can sit there.

You must sprinkle extra sugar in your cereal in the morning.

Why, because I’m so sweet?

No, because you’re fat as hell.

There’s something gorgeous about your eyes…

Oh, that’s it! It’s my reflection.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket?

Why, because you can see yourself in my pants?

No, because I wanted to check how I look before I hit on your hot friend.

Did your driver’s license get suspended?

For driving guys you crazy?

No, because you’re a woman so I assume you’re a horrible driver.

Did you just fart?

Why, because I blew you away?

No, because you smell sh*t.

Can I check the tag on your clothes?

Why, because I’m made in heaven?

No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future.

Are you a lumberjack?

Why, because I give you wood?

No, because you have masculine forearms and you’re wearing Wranglers jeans.

Do you have a library card?

So you can check me out?

No, because my cat just died and I need to find a book about cat funerals.

Anti Pick Up Lines

If you enjoyed these examples of the best anti pick up lines, you’ll also the rest of our pick up lines too, including these:

Source: https://laffgaff.com/anti-pick-up-lines/

100 NSFW Dirty Pick Up Lines That Actually Cross The Line

100+ Mean and Insulting Pick-Up Lines

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What’s cringey, funny and tries to be an aphrodisiac without being an aphrodisiac? A dirty pick-up line, anyone? Welcome to art school, because we’re about to teach you how to become the ultimate pick-up artist. Okay, kidding. These inappropriate pick up lines are so bad, they’re good. But that’s just why we love ’em!

Warning, this list is most definitely full of NSFW jokes. And they’re not exactly stranger-friendly. No, seriously, do not try and use these to bag an actual date. To be quite honest, if a random person came up to us and blurted any of these bad boys unexpectedly, it would be us delivering the punchline…directly to their face.

Luckily, with millions of people stuck at home amid the coronavirus outbreak, quarantine dating means you can try out these eye-roll inducing lines without getting punched through FaceTime. Even still, it’s funny as hell to round off some dirty pick up lines, especially to your significant other. Check out some of our favorites below.

Why not have a pick-up contest with your partner to see who laughs first?

1. You’re so hot, my zipper is falling for you.2. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?3. I’m on top of things. Would you to be one of them?4. Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?5.

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.6. Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?7. I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.8. Are you an exam? Because I have been studying you crazy.9. Can you tell me what time you’ll unzip your pants, please?10.

Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.11. Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look a hot-tea!12. I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours.13. Are you a haunted house? I’m going to scream when I’m in you.14. Your body is made up of 70% water. . .and I’m thirsty.15.

Are you undressing me with your eyes?!16. Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.

17. Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?

RELATED: These Are The Funniest Pick Up Lines We Could Find18. I lost my keys… Can I check your pants?19. Did you know my lips are Skittles and you’re about to taste the rainbow?20. Do I have to sign for your package?21. I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.22.

Please don’t let this get to your head, but do you want some?23. Are you an elevator? Because I’ll go up and down on you.24. You look great right now. Do you know what else would look great on you? Me!25. With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.26.

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!27. Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the 6. I’ll be the 9.28. Do you drink soda? Because you look so-da-licious.29. Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.30.

What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name tonight.31. That’s a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have sex?32. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.33. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.34. Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.35.

If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.36. If you were a drug I would overdose.37. We were both born without clothes.

38. I’m peanut butter, you’re jelly, let’s have sex.

Witthaya Prasongsin/Getty Images

39. I’m not feeling myself today. Can I feel you instead?40. I’d to use your thighs as earmuffs.41. You know what winks and then screws a tiger? {Wink}42. My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Want to go back to my place and save me?43.

Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you but I definitely should be.44. Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them.45. What time do you get off? Can I watch?46. Treat me a pirate and give me that booty.47. If you were a flower you’d be a damn-delion.48.

Do you go to church often? You’ll be on your knees tonight.49. Dinner first, or can we go straight for dessert?50. I was feeling very off today, but then you turned me on.51. You’re just a wine tasting. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing.52.

I’m having trouble sleeping by myself, can you sleep with me?53. I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

54. Want to save water by showering together?

RELATED: These Are The Best Pick Up Lines To Rattle Off55. I’m an adventurer and I want to explore you.56. Want to go halves on a baby?57. Do you have any room for an extra tongue in your mouth?58.

Are you a supermarket sample? Because I want to taste you again and again without any sense of shame.59. Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.60. Are you Dracula? You looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me.61. Don’t ever change. Just get naked.62.

I’m just a pore strip. Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you do.63. You are so selfish. You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.64. If your upper lip is Christmas and your lower lip is Thanksgiving, can I come visit any time in between?65.

You dropped something. My jaw.66. If I was the judge, I’d sentence you to my bed.67. Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?68. You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.69. Are you from Thailand? I want to Bangkok you all night.70. Your legs are an Oreo Cookie.

I want to split them and lick what’s in the middle.71. Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.

72. Let us let only latex stand between our love.

73. Do you bacon? Wanna strip?74. Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.75. Nice dress. Can I talk you it?76. If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?77. If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?78.

There must be a light switch on my forehead because every time I see you, you turn me on!79. So long as we’re in the theatre….why don’t we get some play?80. The only reason I would kick you bed would be to have sex with you on the floor.81. That shirt looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I.82. I lost my virginity.

Can I have yours?83. Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

84. I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

RELATED: These Cute Pick Up Lines Are Beyond Cheesy85. Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s business.86. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.87. Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I’ll go choo choo.88. If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better them.89.

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look the north pole.90. Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!91. Did you get those pants for 50% off? They’re 100% off at my place.92. We could be the reason Santa has a naughty list this year.93. Do you want to save water and shower together?94. Roses are red.

Violets are blue. I’m coming home with you.95. Can I borrow your lips?96. My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.97. Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!98. This might seem corny but you’re making me horny.99. Does your name start with “C” because I can C us getting naked.100. Let’s play Titanic.

You’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.101. Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.102. Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.103. I don’t think I want your babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby making technique with you.104.

What is a nice person you doing in a dirty mind mine?

105. Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging you.

Source: https://www.scarymommy.com/dirty-pick-up-lines/

60 Cheesy Pick Up Lines to Make Her Laugh

100+ Mean and Insulting Pick-Up Lines

We've rounded up a list of our favorite cheesy, bad pick-up lines that are so unabashedly awful that you're almost guaranteed to get a smile.

For as long as there have been single people looking for a relationship (or at least a date for Saturday night), there have been cheesy pick-up lines.

Our Neanderthal ancestors used them—you can be sure some Caveman tried a line “Can I hiber-mate with you through the Ice Age?”—and we continue to use them today, even though apps Tinder and Bumble have replaced face-to-face first encounters for many singles.

So why have pickup lines survived, even though they make us cringe? Well, probably because they make us cringe. Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary—the possibility of rejection is part of the deal—but if you use a pick-up line that's just cheesy or silly enough, you might make them laugh, and that's at least a step in the right direction.

The best cheesy pick-up lines 

  1. Go ahead, feel my shirt. It's made of boyfriend material!
  2. If you were a Transformer you'd be Optimus Fine!
  3. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past you again?
  4. I'm learning about important dates in history.

    Wanna be one of them?

  5. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  6. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you've got fine written all over you!
  7. Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me!
  8. I was wondering if you had an extra heart.

    Because mine was just stolen!

  9. Can I follow you where you're going right now? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams!
  10. Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me!
  11. I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
  12. If I had four quarters to give to the four prettiest women in the world, you would have a dollar!
  13. Let me guess, your middle name is Gillette, right? Because you're the best a man can get!
  14. Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean. And I don't mind being lost at sea!
  15. If you were a burger at McDonald's, you'd be named the McGorgeous!
  16. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile!
  17. Is there an airport nearby, or was that just my heart taking off?
  18. Are you a loan? 'Cause you've got my interest!
  19. I'm in the mood for pizza. A pizza you, that is!
  20. Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you're a cutie!
  21. You're so sweet, you'd put Hershey's business!

The best bad pick-up lines 

  1. If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
  2. If you were a phaser on Star Trek, you'd be set to stun!
  3. Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?
  4. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for.
  5. Have you been covered in bees recently? I just assumed, because you look sweeter than honey.

  6. There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off you.
  7. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only Ten I See.
  8. You must be a campfire. Because you're super hot and I want s'more.
  9. My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful person in the club.

    What should we do with their money?

  10. Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes for the genie?
  11. Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've only met you in my dreams.
  12. You must be made of cheese. Because you're looking Gouda tonight!
  13. I'm glad I remembered to bring my library card.

    'Cause I am totally checking you out!

  14. If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber!
  15. I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it.

  16. Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future!
  17. If you and I were socks, we'd make a great pair!
  18. Do you work at Dick's? Because you're sporting the goods!
  19. Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie!

The best funny pick-up lines

Shutterstock

  1. Aside from being drop-dead gorgeous, what do you do for a living?
  2. Hey, my name's Microsoft. Can I crash at your place?
  3. Kiss me if I'm wrong. But dinosaurs still exist, right?
  4. You owe me a drink.

    Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine!

  5. Want a raisin? No? Well, how about a date?
  6. You must be a high test score. Because I want to take you home and show you to my mother.
  7. I may not be a photographer. But I can totally picture us together.
  8. You must be a magician. Because any time I look at you, everyone else disappears.

  9. Was your dad a boxer? Because you're a knockout!
  10. I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
  11. I want our love to be the number Pi: irrational and never-ending.
  12. Is your name Ariel? Cause we Mermaid for each other.
  13. If you were words on a page you'd be the fine print.
  14. I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
  15. You are the reason even Santa has a naughty list.
  16. Where have I seen you before? Oh yeah, I remember now. It was in the dictionary next to the word GORGEOUS!
  17. Don't tell me if you want me to take you out to dinner.

    Just smile for yes, or do a backflip/somersault/counter-spin gymnastics combination for no.

  18. I wasn't always religious. But I am now, because you're the answer to all my prayers.
  19. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'I' and 'U' together.
  20. You must be exhausted.

    You've been running through my mind all day.

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Source: https://bestlifeonline.com/pick-up-lines/

50 Cheesy Pickup Lines We Dare You to Try on Your Crush – Redbubble Life

100+ Mean and Insulting Pick-Up Lines
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While dating apps have made it easier to meet people than ever before, their convenience comes at a price; the stakes of meeting someone IRL are higher, which automatically makes it feel more thrilling and romantic. So this Valentine’s Day, we say it’s time to reconnect with our pre-dating app roots. How? With cheesy pickup lines. Duh.

While they’ve gotten a bad rap over the years, there’s zero denying that the best cheesy pickup lines get you noticed.

And sure, your crush might roll their eyes, but that just means they’re secretly wishing they’d thought of your line first (shh, it’s true). Too shy? Just immortalize that cheesy pickup line in good old fashioned greeting cards.

To help you out this Valentine’s Day, we’ve made a list swoon/cringe-worthy pickup lines for any situation and personality. Now go get ‘em.

Cheesy Hearts – Camembert Illustration by sophiedoodle

The phrase “bookworm” was inspired by the silverfish and linoleum beetles that inhabit the pages of old paperbacks and periodicals. But the cute bibliophiles we’re talking about are typically two-legged, non-bristle-tailed humans and can be found in the aisles of your local library or bookstore. These funny pickup lines are best respectfully whispered with inside voices.

1. Daaaayum girl,* are you a book? Cuz I’d to get under your covers.2. Are you related to Gabriel García Márquez? Cause I think you’re going to end my 100 years of solitude.3. Are you a first print, limited first edition from 1802? Cuz I’ve been looking for you my whoooole life.4.

Are you an overdue book? Cuz you have F-I-N-E written all over you.5. Girl* you’ve Metamorphosed my Heart of Darkness into Light in August.6. My name must be Vladimir or Estragon cuz I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.7. Are you available in large print? Cause I’d to check you out but I have macular degeneration.8.

Are you into the dark arts? Cuz I’d to Slytherin-to your pants.

9. (In Gollum voice) dayum girl*, are you Frodo? Cuz I’d die to wear your ring.

* = Insert desired pronoun of crush-worthy literary bae.

Typewriter Illustration by HopeCrescent

Foodies are known for their refined interest in food, food photography, uploading said food photography to Instagram, and regramming photos of their favorite food photography. Oh, and sometimes eating too. Read on for cheese-filled, non-GMO pickup lines that are locally sourced and guaranteed to make them hungry for more.

10. Damn boy,* are you a Double Crunchwrap Supreme Quesarito Combo with extra pico and cheese? Cuz you’re making my heart burn.11. Are you coagulated and full of protein? Cuz you’re lookin’ gouuuuda today.12. Girl*, you must be a fine wine, cuz I could get drunk on your legs.13. If you were a steak, you’d be well done.

Source: https://www.redbubble.com/life/cheesy-pickup-lines/

Reddit’s Dirtiest Pick-Up Lines Will Make You Blush

100+ Mean and Insulting Pick-Up Lines

We’re all familiar with “Hey baby, what’s your sign?” and “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” But what about… dirty pick-up lines. You know, the sexy kind.

And these pick-up lines have a very different purpose than cheesy pick-up lines, and are generally not good idea to use on strangers.

Before you ask somebody, “Want to come over and watch porn all night on my new mirror?” you should be very sure they’d to hear it.

In fact, dating experts say that attempting to get a date with a pick-up line usually isn't going to work.

“It's not necessarily about what you say, but whether or not you say something that feels genuine or right to you,” Gabrielle Applebury, a sex and marriage counselor in Orange County, CA, previously told Refinery29.

“[Using a pre-written pick-up line] is going to register on the other person that something is a little bit off.”

All that said, pick-up lines are still a lot of fun to read… and you know best how your partner would respond to something , “Are you a stack of dirty dishes? ‘Cause I want to get you wet and do you all night long.”

So, here are the best dirty pick-up lines on Reddit. 

Funniest Dirty Pick-Up Lines 

“Are you a sea lion? ‘Cause I can see you lyin’ in my bed tonight.” — undignifiedstrut

“You remind me of a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.” — danman1232

“Is your name homework? 'Cause I'm not doing you but I should be.” — anonymous

“Roses are red, violets are blue. I spaghetti, let's go screw.” — CylentShadow

“So how do you your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, or fertilized?” — unusualmusician

Dirty Pick-Up Lines To Use On Tinder Or Dating Apps

“Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.” — robotwarlordelephant

“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.” — Pannanana

“If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber.” — missminimoo

“Hey baby, are you a tiny wooden stick and I'm an equal amount of red phosphorus? Because we're a match!” — Enzo1030

“Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.” — domokitten

“Are you the University of Phoenix? Because I'm pursuing you online from my couch.” — explodingcharmbomb

“Are you Little Cesars? Because you're hot and I'm ready.” — Tess_ORourke

Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Are A Little Sexual

“Need a pillow to sit on? I can be yours if you want.” — LeisRatio

“They say you are what you eat. If that's true, I could be you by morning.” — IAmTall

“My magic watch says you're not wearing any underwear. Oh you are? It must be 15 minutes fast.” — Danielle825

“Are you a chicken farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.” — TheAlphaBlob

“Want to come over and watch porn all night on my new mirror?” — cata2k

“There's a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are 100% off!” — IranianGenius

“That shirt looks very becoming on you. Then again if I was on you, I'd be coming too.” — ANBU_Black_0ps

“Fun fact about me, pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.” — Clover_North

Cute But Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Aren’t Too Cheesy

“Are you my pinky toe? Because I wanna bang you on my coffee table later tonight.” — GreekGeek6467

“Is your name winter? ‘Cause you'll be coming soon.” — Didi_Castle

“Is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I wanna tap that ass.” — nrtphotos

“You got a phone in your back pocket? ‘Cause that ass is calling me.” — tandra17

“Hey baby did you buy those pants on sale? Because at my place they're 100 percent off.” — Fluffysniper

Dirty Pick-Up Lines To Say To Women

“Are you a stack of dirty dishes? ‘Cause I want to get you wet and do you all night long.” — supream-potato

“Do you have pet insurance? No. That's too bad because your pussy is going to get pounded tonight.” (via anonymous)

“Those are some nice legs. What time do they open?” — anonymous

“I was on Tinder and swiped right on a girl with the same name as me. I sent the first message, and it rea, ‘I've always wanted to date myself!!’” — ajd011394

“Is your name Medusa? ‘Cause I'm rock hard.” — ShortDash

“Hey girl, are you an escalator? Because I wanna go down on you.” — anonymous

Dirty Pick-Up Lines To Say To Men

“I know three ways to make six inches disappear.” — juicyjensen

 “You look just my first husband.” “You've been married before?” “No.” — eimaiagyristokefali

“I just bought this lamp that turns on and off when you clap. Wanna come over so I can clap my ass on your dick and we can turn it into a rave?” — KramerTheAssMan

“I'm craving spicy sausage and chorizo just won't do.” — RagingFuckALot

“Did you work on the Manhattan Project? ‘Cause you’re a weapon of ass destruction.” — thebrooklynoz

“You MUST work for UPS, you have a fantastic package.” — anonymous

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Source: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/dirty-pick-up-lines

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