- 4 Tips For Writing an Online Dating Profile (That Actually Work)
- 8 Irresistible Dating Profile Examples For Men
- Tinder Profile Example
- Bumble Profile Example
- CoffeeMeetsBagel Profile Example
- Match.com Profile Example
- POF Profile Example
- OkCupid Profile Example
- MillionaireMatch Profile Example
- Common Dating Profile Mistakes (That Can Torpedo Your Results)
- What Beats The World’s Best Dating Profile Examples For Men?
- How Do I Write an Awesome Online Dating Profile?
- 6 Tips For Writing The Perfect Online Dating Profile
4 Tips For Writing an Online Dating Profile (That Actually Work)
As many of you already know, I met Geoffrey in 2008, long before apps Tinder/Bumble/Raya were even an idea.
Beyond swiping on girlfriend's apps for fun when we're out to drinks, I have very little personal expertise when it comes to online dating, but I know countless couples who met online, our Marketing Manager Kelly and her boyfriend Alfie. I asked her to share her tips for writing a profile, below—enjoy! xEmily
I started online dating in 2012. Back then, online dating was relatively new for twenty-somethings: Tinder had just been released, Bumble and Hinge were still a few years away, and most online dating was still done via a website, Match.com. I joined the ranks of photos and profiles because, at the time, it felt my only option.
I was 23-years-old and had recently moved from Denver to L.A. after graduating from college, not knowing a single person who lived here.
It was a huge risk that left me very lonely for the next three years; trying desperately to make friends, do well at work, and date some nice guys, all while feeling the financial pressure that many people in their early twenties know all too well.
Flash forward to today: I’m now 29, almost finished with a Master’s degree (trying to hang in there until December!), and live with my boyfriend, Alfonso (Alfie) and our adorable rescue dog, Alexa.
When Alfie and I met last December on the app Hinge (I was 28 and he was 32), we'd both been online dating for years, but couldn't find that one person we wanted to build a lasting relationship with—until we landed on each other's profiles.
As soon as I saw his profile, I immediately knew we would get along, and later learned he felt the same way when he saw mine (funnily enough, our first date was terrible, but our second was magical—but that may be a story for another post…).
Before meeting Alfie, I had plenty of time to experiment with different versions of “The Perfect Online Dating Profile”, reading plenty of books and online how-to articles along the way.
I wanted to find a real match, not a casual fling, and in the early days, I mostly used OkCupid to write novels about myself online, trying desperately to pack my entire personality into an eight-paragraph, pre-determined questionnaire.
However, it wasn’t until I stopped trying so hard to “craft” an online version of myself that I finally figured out the version that actually worked.
Using Bumble, Hinge, Match, and OkCupid as my apps of choice, I finally found my match by selecting my photos much more carefully, keeping it short and sweet, being honest with myself, and saying yes to first dates more often (17 in a three-month period). The following tips may not work for everyone (I really don’t think there’s a “magical formula” for online dating success), but they worked for me—and maybe they will work for you too:
Over the years, I noticed that many of my friends (and dates) shared a common sentiment when it came to the profile photos of people they had gone on dates with—they looked really different in person than they did online.
I think it’s tempting to present the “best” or “aspirational” version of ourselves online; or, in many cases, the heavily edited version that may or may not look us in real life.
Many people are very visual, so when an online date shows up at a restaurant looking different than we were expecting, it’s distracting! To this day, my best friend Karli’s fiance (who she met on Tinder) jokes that Karli “catfished” him because she showed up to their first date with bright blonde hair, while her profile photos showed her as a brunette. Obviously it worked out for them, but I kid you not, I’ve heard this story at least 10 times over the past three years.
A selfie that appeared on my earlier profiles (to be clear: this photo did not attract the right kind of person…)
Bottom line, I think taking a “come as you are” approach to your profile photos is absolutely key to online dating success.
For me, I definitely included a few selfies in the early years, but I’m not a person who takes selfies on a regular basis (especially as I get older), so those photos didn’t accurately represent me.
When I met Alfie, I'd gotten rid of them for good, which felt much more authentic to who I am IRL.
The profile photo (the one that shows up first) I had when I met Alfie
DO use accurate pictures of yourself what you look today. If your hair is currently blonde, make sure it’s blonde in all of your profile photos. If you don’t typically wear a lot of makeup, mirror that in your online photos too.
Use photos of what you actually look , and ask your friends for their opinion if you need help. It’s all about managing people’s expectations.
If you look how he or she is expecting you to look, your date is more ly to go well because they’ll be focused on you and your awesome personality, rather than something silly the fact that your hair is a different color than it was online.
DO show a variety of photos. Use at least one full-body photo (preferably standing), one close-up of your face (preferably not a selfie…), one with your friends, and one doing an activity you love. These photos are absolutely essential, and for the rest, use photos that give little hints about who you are and what you to do.
My favorite picture of Alfie was with his friend’s adorable baby strapped to his chest while he was drinking a beer—that was the photo I showed all my friends when they asked who I was dating, because HELLO! Yes, please!! (And yes, we now spend a lot of time at the brewery where the picture was taken, and he does genuinely love and want kids, so points for accuracy!)
DO smile!! Smiles are always nice and communicate that you’re friendly and open to meeting new people (unless you’re not really a smiley person, then don’t do it!)
DON’T use photos that show you doing a cool thing that you did once and never plan to do again.
Many people may disagree with me here (I remember seeing so many photos of guys with elephants or tigers for some reason), but if you went surfing and thought it was terrifying, don’t use the cute photo of you with the suroard if you’re not a beach dweller! It’s misleading and may excite someone who is ideally looking for someone to surf with or spend a lot of time at the beach with. I sunburn really easily and get migraines from too much sun exposure, so I didn’t include any beach photos on my profile, even though I live in L.A. and had several to choose from. And guess what? Alfie and I live 1.5 miles from the beach and still have never “gone to the beach” (we’re definitely “beach adjacent” people—find us outside under an umbrella at a beachside bar!).
DON’T use photos where your ex is cut out, or with a member of the opposite sex. (If he’s your brother, STATE THAT IN THE CAPTION!). Hopefully this one doesn’t need explaining!
Finding your future husband/wife/partner is definitely serious business, but online dating shouldn’t be.
So many men and women use their precious profile space to explain that they’re only looking for something serious, their career means everything, and all the reasons you shouldn't contact them.
Sure, you could use your tiny paragraph to explain all the intricacies of your Myers-Briggs personality type (ENFJ!), OR you could take a breath, drink a glass of wine, and just relax.
Online dating is only awful if you take it too seriously (I’ve been a repeat offender of this over the years, so I definitely know what it’s to feel stressed/sad/burnt out from it!).
I’ll be candid here: Alfie didn’t want to meet me because I’m an ambitious career-woman looking for a 50/50 partner to have kids and a dog with (though these are reasons he loves me now!); he wanted to meet me because I school (he does too), I’m playfully competitive, love soccer, and have a similar sense of humor to him. These are the things I wrote about in my profile (i.e.
“I will destroy you in Pictionary”, “I’m a Ravenclaw”, and “At a party, you’ll find me in the kitchen with the wine and Brie”). I saved the more serious stuff for our first handful of dates, once we'd met in person.
DO have fun with it. Dating is exciting, and if you’re doing it with the intention of finding a forever person, remember that every first date you have has the potential to be your last. HOW EXCITING IS THAT?!
DO keep it light. We know how important your career is, and that you’re not looking for a hookup (preach, sister!), but that information tells someone almost nothing about your personality. Save the really important stuff for (a little) later.
DON’T qualify why you’re online dating. Maybe it wasn’t a few years ago, but online dating is completely “normal” now, and I would even describe it as incredibly efficient.
More marriages in 2017 were between people who met online (19%) than those who met through friends (17%) or during college (15%)! Don’t “explain” that you’re just online dating because you’re busy or shy.
Online dating can work for anyone.
A few years ago, I read an article that listed the “best” adjectives women should use to describe themselves on an online dating profile, according to statistical data. While many of them did make sense for me (ambitious, thoughtful, hard-working), many of them really didn’t (spontaneous, sweet, outgoing).
I think it’s very tempting to describe ourselves what we think people are looking for—“spontaneous” and “obsessed with travel” being two of the biggest descriptors I saw over and over again in my many years of online dating.
I went a different direction with my Hinge profile, writing: “You should contact me if these emojis resonate with you”, followed by a slew of emojis that describe me in picture-form (laughing cat, soccer ball, thumbs-up, donut, huge smile, coffee, pizza, stack of books).
Among all the emojis I listed, Alfie spotted the soccer ball and was instantly intrigued, as he also played soccer growing up. Our third and fourth dates both involved soccer, and I think we both agree that these dates ending up being what sealed the deal for both of us.
Looking at it from another angle, I had also included the calendar emoji to subtly communicate that I am not, in fact, a very spontaneous person. Rather, I enjoy using a calendar and (usually) sticking to those plans, and I’m very good at logistics and staying organized.
I remember a very attractive someone commenting once to ask what the calendar emoji meant, and I told him that I was “one of those planner types who is always on time”.
I was a little hurt when I never heard from him again, but then I realized—that’s something he would find out anyway in the real world, and clearly he’s not into it! Being honest with myself about who I am was key to finding the right fit.
You don’t have to advertise that you steal the covers and can be painfully shy at parties, but taking care not to describe yourself in ways that aren’t accurate just because you think that’s what people want to hear is super important!
DO ask your friends for help. What do your friends love the most about you? How would they describe you?
DO use humor, if that makes sense for you. You have such a short time to capture someone’s attention, and saying something humorous or memorable can help you stand out to the right person.
DON’T describe yourself with “buzzwords” that aren’t completely accurate. If you’re not sure, skip it. These words may include: spontaneous, funny, passionate, active, sweet, fun, outgoing, etc. Stick to just the ones that describe you EXTREMELY well, without question.
When I told him I was writing this article, Alfie said that the one thing I did that made me really stand out to him was messaging him first. On Hinge (un other apps), you don’t simply swipe right or left.
Instead, you have to “” something on a person’s profile, which is either a photo or an answer to one of three questions. When you “” something, you also have the option to send a comment.
Many women don’t send comments, and would rather wait for men to make the first move (side note: Bumble’s entire purpose is to help fix this issue!).
In addition to “liking”, I sent Alfie a comment on an amusing photo of him in the middle of two couples with an empty space next to him (now lovingly referred to as “THE photo”). I said something along the lines of: “Lol I can totally relate to this, I’m the 17th wheel in my group of friends.” He messaged me back almost immediately, and the rest is history.
DO send a message first! Ladies, if you’re interested, let him or her know. I started the conversation with maybe 5% of the men I “swiped right” on, but Alfie was one of them.
My good friend Megan, who just married someone she met on OkCupid, also messaged her husband first.
If you look at someone’s profile and think it would be a shame if they didn’t ever message you, don’t wait! Get in there!
DON’T just say “hey”. You don’t need to write a love poem, but something a little more interesting than “hey” is always appreciated, not to mention more memorable.
DON’T feel bad, or be afraid to try again, if you don’t get a response. You have absolutely no idea what’s going on in a person’s real life.
Many people don’t delete their apps until several weeks or months after they start a new relationship, so their account is just sitting there “dormant,” but you don’t know that! And if someone just isn’t interested in meeting you, that's okay too! There are seven billion people in the world, and you’re not going to be a good fit for most of them.
Embrace it! You’re unique, and you should want to be with someone who thinks you’re interesting, unique, and awesome. Don’t waste your time worrying about the people who just aren’t right for you.
What has worked for you while online dating? Share in the comments below!
8 Irresistible Dating Profile Examples For Men
You’re not alone. Most men have a very hard time figuring out what to write about themselves on a dating site, much less doing it in a way that women find irresistible. The majority never get it right – and it's a crucial component of .
And whether it’s Tinder, Bumble, CoffeeMeetsBagel, Match.com, POF, OkCupid, MillionaireMatch or one of the many others, your dating profile is truly make or break.
Write the wrong thing, and you’re doomed to fail, with your empty inbox serving as a constant reminder that your profile’s problematic.
On the other hand, when you write a compelling profile, you can watch messages from high-quality women pile up in your inbox, and fill your dating calendar clockwork.
If you’d to experience that for yourself, you’ve come to the right place. You’re just about to see 8 irresistibly attractive online dating profile examples for guys that you can use today!
|Instant Bonus: Get a downloadable version of The 8 Irresistible Profile Examples so you can copy & paste your way to more dates on any dating sites or apps you choose.|
At VIDA, we’ve written 1000s of uber-effective dating profiles for guys you since 2009. How do we know the profiles really attract beautiful women? We handle the messages and set up the dates too! (Want dates with amazing women too? Click here to find out how we can make that happen for you.)
There are 100s of online dating sites and apps out there, but what reels in the ladies on Tinder could torpedo your chances on Bumble. So we’re not only giving you incredible, witty profile examples you can use, we’re also telling you which dating site or app they work best on.
Let’s get started!
Tinder Profile Example
In general, profiles on dating apps are much shorter than profiles for online sites Match. Tinder’s character limit is 500, and on many apps profiles are even shorter than that.
While it’s tempting to skip writing anything at all and just rely on your awesome pictures, why miss the chance to win her over?
If she's hesitant to swipe right your looks alone, she'll use your profile to get an of your and make up her . And virtually all your matches will read it before responding to your message.
Epic Tinder profiles have three things in common:
- They keep it clean (sleaze doesn't play well, even on Tinder)
- They snag her attention
- They make her laugh, or at least crack a smile
You can get away with more exaggerated humor and funny/cocky attitude on Tinder than you can on other apps and dating sites. So this is your chance to get creative, show some personality and have a little fun. Here is a funny online dating profile example for men that really works:
“Humorous, Over-The-Top” Profile for Tinder
And if you really want to rise above the competition, try a Tinder profile this:
“You Want Some of This?” Profile for Tinder
(For even more good dating profile examples for guys, click here.)
Bumble Profile Example
On Bumble, a man matching with a woman can’t send the first message. And there’s another twist – once the two of you have matched, she only has 24 hours to start the conversation.
So your profile needs to stand out from all those other guys if you want her to send a message your way.
Bumble's largest demographic is singles in their 20s, with just over 60% of users in the 18-29 age range. Roughly 30% of Bumble users are 30+, with only 6% over 50.
Bumble generally attracts who are intelligent and successful, as it’s been marketed as a “female-friendly” alternative to Tinder. You definitely want to keep your profile classy to be successful on this app.
The 300-character-or-less limit means you have to make a big impact in a short space. Highlight all your most attractive traits, whether that’s your job, your hobbies, or your love for travel. Whatever will make her think, “Now there's a I'd to date!”
But the key here is Show, Don’t Tell – a rule that holds true for any type of online dating profile.
She doesn’t want to read a boring list of adjectives.
So don’t tell her that you’re an adventurous, loyal, fun guy who's curious about the world and has a great sense of humor. Nothing about that sentence will hold her interest; she’s already rolled her eyes moved on to the next guy by the time she got to “fun”.
Show her what your personality is instead by giving specific examples of things you’ve done that illustrate qualities “adventurous”:
“Show, Don’t Tell” Profile for Bumble
You'll notice a lot of specific details packed into all these profiles – and that's part of what makes them such good online dating profile examples for men. Details make for built-in conversation starters!
When space is at a premium, emoji give you a way to share even more details with your match. These colorful symbols instantly convey your message, and only take up 1 character each.
Bumble Profile Using Emojis:
(Want more profile writing help? Check out these short dating profile examples and tips!)
CoffeeMeetsBagel Profile Example
CoffeeMeetsBagel feeds users a limited number of matches per day, so she’s pretty much guaranteed to peruse your profile.
And the clock is ticking – once she's received your profile as one of her daily Bagels at noon, she’s only got 24 hours to “” you. You really need to bring your profile writing A-game – and that can be hard to do with a 276-character limit for each section!
The singles you’ll find on CMB are typically sophisticated, young professionals who are looking for a relationship. The over-the-top attitude you can get away with on a more casual dating app Tinder can be a turn-off on CMB if a potential match thinks you’re not taking it seriously.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t be funny or creative when answering CMB’s three profile questions: “I am…”, “I …” and “I appreciate when my date…”
The “Show, Don’t Tell” rule still applies, and now we’re going to add another one: The “70/30” rule.
On longer profiles, you want 70% of it to be about you, and 30% of it to describe what you’re looking for. CMB profiles lend themselves naturally to this, since the entire last question is all about your dream girl.
Here’s an example to illustrate both rules in action:
“Fool-Proof” Profile for CoffeeMeetsBagel
(Want more info on CMB? This CoffeeMeetsBagel review has everything you need to know about how it works, plus tips for attracting high-quality matches!)
Now let's take a look at a few longer dating profile examples for men…
Match.com Profile Example
Match is one of the most popular mainstream dating sites, and it’s a great place to meet attractive, intelligent people. But since it’s so popular among successful, career-driven singles, your profile is up against a lot of competition.
We know a lot of tricks that will triple your response rate on Match, but in order for those to pay off, your profile needs to stand out from the crowd:
“Attention-Grabbing” Profile for Match.com
If this dating profile example looks an intimidatingly long block of text to write, don’t worry – it’s easy when you tackle it as four separate paragraphs:
POF Profile Example
POF (PlentyOfFish.com) is one of the most popular free dating sites out there, with one of the largest user pools. But to attract the pretty fish, your profile needs to be tantalizing bait. (And it helps to know all the Advanced Search hacks, too).
The good news is, you can reuse the “In My Own Words” section of your Match profile on your POF profile. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel – when you’ve got something good, roll with it.
There is, however, the prominently displayed “Conversation Starters/What You'd To Do On A First Date” section and you need to knock it the park. Anyone can suggest dinner, a movie, meeting for coffee, etc… but why do what everyone else is doing?
Capture her imagination with something so over the top she can’t help but be intrigued, and then suggest the more mundane ‘cup of coffee’ at the end. Here’s an example of a first date idea that’s sure to get her smiling:
“First Date” Example for POF
OkCupid Profile Example
OkCupid is a melting pot of all different types of singles, from “alternative” types to hipsters and nerds and everything in between. For maximum success, you want your OkCupid profile to appeal to a broad range of potential matches, because “hot” comes in all categories.
The profiles on OkCupid are comprised of 9 main sections, each with a choice of 5 to 6 prompts.
You also have the opportunity to add even more topics to your OkCupid profile if you wish.
For each section you want to fill out, choose the prompt you think can best highlight a positive attribute of your personality. You can also add a picture.
No matter which prompts you choose to answer from the first two sections, the answers need to catch – and hold – her attention. Only two answers, or “essays”, will be visible on your profile, unless she hits “+more” to see the rest.
Two of the more difficult prompts are “My Self Summary” and “What I’m Doing With My Life.” The others pretty much write themselves….
“Mass Appeal” Profile for OkCupid
(For even more OkCupid profile tips that will help you crush the competition, check out this article.)
MillionaireMatch Profile Example
MillionaireMatch boasts some of most beautiful women and highest response rates of any website we’ve tested. If you’re in the right tax bracket for this type of site, it’s a must use.
As with any “exclusive” dating site, you’ll want to showcase your best assets in your profile, because the most beautiful women on the site have their pick of men. You want to look an attractive prospect in more than just your photos.
Here’s how to do it right:
“Irresistible” Profile for MillionaireMatch
(For more tips on attracting beautiful women on MillionaireMatch, go here.)
Common Dating Profile Mistakes (That Can Torpedo Your Results)
Now that you know what a great dating profile looks , here are 3 mistakes guys commonly make that could make her think twice about swiping right.
- Forget the basics, spelling and grammar. Little details typos, bad (or no) punctuation, and misspelled or misused words can have a big effect on the first impression she’s forming. In short, grammar matters, so much so that many women find bad sex preferable to bad grammar. Ignoring spell check and failing to correct obvious errors in your profile is the equivalent of wearing dirty, wrinkled clothes on a first date. You cared enough to show up, but that’s about it.
- Take up valuable profile real estate with negativity. When a dating profile is super short, each word has a heightened impact. Positive words, ideas and statements are generally much more attractive than describing what you don’t or traits in a potential partner that turn you off. Also steer clear of sharing anything that hints at past relationship drama, as she’ll ly interpret that as a sign you’re still packing around some heavy baggage.
Of course, having the perfect dating profile is just the first step in the process. Once you’ve got her attention, you need to keep it. If your messages suck, it doesn’t matter how good your profile is… you still won’t meet the women you deserve.
Beginning to sound a lot of work? It is. In fact, the average online dater spends 11.9 hours per week on dating sites (according to academic research). Part time job? You bet!
The worst part is: Most men quit online dating within 3 months due to a lack of results. Clearly, you need more than just a solid dating profile. What you really need is an expert in your corner…
What Beats The World’s Best Dating Profile Examples For Men?
As good as they may be, the examples you’ve seen today cannot compete with a dating profile that’s so uniquely “you” it could never be used by anyone else! After all, there’s a lot of guys out there looking for good online dating profiles to copy.
That’s why our professional dating writers are standing by to craft a highly-personalized, über-compelling profile for you. We’ll build your profile from the ground up, just for you, using a proven formula that’s guaranteed to make your most attractive qualities irresistible to women.
And it doesn’t stop there. We’ll break the ice with highly-qualified matches, handle all your back-and-forth messages, and even set up your dates for you with the women you best!
Why continue struggling on your own when you can have your online dating done for you by the world’s leading experts? If you’re truly ready to give your dating life an upgrade and meet the woman of your dreams, click here to get the pros on your team today.
How Do I Write an Awesome Online Dating Profile?
dating again after a breakup | Source
Two years ago I broke up with my fiancé/girlfriend of 4 years because ‘things’ weren’t moving in the direction I wanted them to move… at least not at the pace I wanted them to move. I’m not going to get into the specifics of that past relationship other than to say, her loss.
At the time, I was an emotional wreck. My friends and family, I suppose, were getting pretty tired of my self-loathing and hibernation. They really wanted to see me get back out there and after a few weeks (months) I too wanted to get back out there. But where is “out there?”
For me, “out there” was an online dating site. I added a few pictures, wrote a pathetic bio and described exactly what I didn’t want in a potential date. Weeks went by and though I was getting a lot of views and sending off a lot of invites to connect, I wasn’t getting many replies. It was all very depressing, even more than breaking off from a long term relationship
dating tips | Source
I couldn’t understand why I was being rejected so I started to analyze everything I could about online dating. I started to read the profiles of other guys just to see what they were doing different and that is when I discovered it. Nearly every single guy (and girl for that matter,) were writing pretty much the exact same catch lines:
“I hate writing about myself” – And then you see 1500 words of yada, yada, yada.
“I’m pretty laid back” – What the heck does that really mean?
“I love to laugh” – Who doesn’t?
“I to travel” – Again, really?
“I have a sarcastic sense of humor” – You may think you do.
“I’d rather be outside than inside” “I to read” “I work out 5 times a week” blah, blah, blah…
My problem wasn’t that I was unattractive. My problem was that I didn’t stand out from the thousands of other profiles that were saying the exact same thing. So, it was time to start from scratch.
dating profile | Source
First thing to do was change up the pictures. The pictures I had up were mostly headshots and me standing around doing nothing or me in a group shot (I suppose to prove I have a lot of friends.)
Choose photos that tell a story when selecting pictures to upload to a dating site.
Pictures of you doing the things you to do, (bowling, golfing, singing, being silly, etc) but no selfies, no bare chests (or other body parts) unless you are at the beach playing volleyball or Frisbee.
No group shots unless you can really stand out. Guys don’t post pictures with other women, Girls don’t post pictures with other guys (it’s a psychological thing that signals competition.)
Next thing to do is rework the bio. First, don’t lie about anything because it may come back to bite you in the butt. There is no need to lie because you’re looking for the person that is right for you, not the other way around. Write with proper spelling and grammar. Do not write in the same way you text. In this format, it is a sign of laziness.
Don’t share too much information about your current emotional state. Don’t share stories about your ex (good or bad.
) When you describe yourself, don’t just say, “I enjoy making people laugh” say something : “My humor is sort of a mix between Jerry Seinfeld and George Carlin.” That gives a more vivid image about your sense of humor.
Write in a way that others you are trying to attract can relate to, unless boring and cookie cutter is what you are after.
Instead of making a list of the things you or dis, share a story about it. For instance, if you to ride your bike, you can write something :
“I was riding my bike along the beach, as I do every evening, when I heard the music off in the distance. As I followed the sounds I came upon an impromptu street performance. The four man band was playing Jazz, my favorite. I love living in this city because you never know what might be waiting around the next corner.”
It may be cheesy but it tells a story and it reveals some things about me that are not boring: I to ride my bike every evening, I Jazz, and I live in a city. I think you get the point.
Take a few minutes and write down 4 or 5 adjectives that really fit your personality.
Are you funny or shy, happy or glamorous, old-fashioned or gifted? Once you have those adjectives listed then instead of just blurting those out as descriptions, write a one or two sentence story to explain those adjectives without actually using those adjectives.
This can be quite hard, especially if you’re not good with words but being able to express yourself is very important in the dating arena and showing that you can do just that is half the battle.
Think of this as a cold call sales letter. You’re goal is not to “sell yourself,” your goal is to sell the features. Don’t write that you are funny; write something that you think is funny.
Don’t write that you are laid back; write a typical laid back Sunday.
Don’t just say that you are responsible, athletic, kind-hearted, or love kids; show it with a story and you will stand out above all those that leave that out.
By selling the features, you will attract the one person that is searching for you instead of all the lurkers that are just looking for a pretty face. While having a pretty face may be an advantageous feature, it is the most superficial trait of all and has no real staying power.
Keep in mind that one of the goals of your online dating profile is to help individuals find common ground with you. Doing this gives them an opening to engage you for conversation. You don’t have to list everything you or dis, these are questions you should be asking and answering on your dates.
However, when you do list something you or dis, be specific. Let the reader know that while you might enjoy listening to Beyoncé, you would prefer to see Maroon 5; you watch every episode of The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones; you eat more junk food than home cooked meals.
Also be specific with your time constraints and possible deal breakers. Let the reader know you have shared custody of your son; you can’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke; you coach little league baseball 3 times a week; you work the third shift; you must attend Sunday service at your church.
You don’t have to go into great detail on everything but touching on these things will save time for both parties. Plus you shouldn’t list every or dis or you’ll have nothing to really talk about when you go on your dates.
How has this helped my dating? Well, shortly after making the changes I started getting tons of emails alerting me to a new connection request. I was going on at least 1 date a week until I met my current girlfriend that I have been monogamous with for the past 7 months… I think she’s a keeper.
The point is a dating profile is not a dating resume it is the opening chapter of a good book. End the chapter by getting the reader to want more, learn more. The ultimate goal is to get dates where you actually meet and interact in person so that you can add more chapters to the book. It's your book, write it the way you want it.
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6 Tips For Writing The Perfect Online Dating Profile
If you are looking for love online, a great profile is key.
Of course you need compelling photos, but those who are looking for a real relationship will look beyond a pretty face to find out what you are about.
It would be nice if everyone could give you the benefit of the doubt and magically see what a fascinating, unique, loving person you are, but that's not how online dating works.
A generic profile that doesn't say much or says the wrong things will be overlooked by the very people you truly hope to connect with. There are lots of quality singles online. If you hope to meet one of them, speak to them, not the masses!
Imagine that your ideal partner is going to read your profile. How will he or she recognize you as their perfect match?
Follow these crucial tips to make sure you are attracting the right people online!
1. Give a snapshot of who you are, how you live your life and the relationship you are seeking.
Your profile should start out by describing your most prominent and positive character traits. Are you funny? Outgoing? Creative? Loyal? Affectionate? Intellectually curious? Choose 3 or 4 adjectives that best describe your personality. If you're at a loss, ask your friends for help describing you. How would they describe you to someone they were setting you up with?
Be sure to also include what you care about. Don't use the crutch of describing your job and moving on. It's not a resume, and your job should get little focus. If you love your job, say so.
But more importantly, what are you passionate about?Do you care most about making music? Helping others? Winning a pro surfing competition or rescuing stray dogs? If you care about learning new languages and taking trips to test your skills, say so! The right people are going to think that's awesome.
Lastly, be honest about what you are seeking. Don't hedge and downplay you desire to be in a committed relationship, or your desire for the opposite! Remember – you want to attract the people who are looking for what you are looking for. If you want a relationship, say so!
2. Who you want to meet – the character, not the characteristics.
I can't emphasize this enough. Please be sure to say who you want to meet in your profile, without sounding overly specific as to their characteristics. Avoid listing your ideal partner's hobbies, height, body type, education and interests.
When you focus on character, you are being specific as to your values, which will resonate with -minded people. If you focus on characteristics you risk sounding superficial, rigid, or overly picky. These are not attractive qualities!
For example, rather than specifying the characteristic of “having a fit body,” you should state the character trait of “active” or “valuing health and fitness.
” The first example is about an outcome (fit body), the latter is about a way of life (being active and taking care of yourself).
The former excludes people who don't want someone who is overly concerned with appearances (even if they themselves are fit), and the latter includes those fit people who care about more than the superficial.
Remember – you have already started your profile by saying who you are and what you're into – if someone is still reading, they're already intrigued by you and what you care about.
If you really want to meet someone who loves sailing because sailing is your passion, that person who also loves sailing is already hooked as soon as they read that sailing is your passion! If they hate sailing, hate the water and hate sailors, they're already gone.
When you are writing about who you are and how your live your life, be sure to show the reader what that looks in action. You are trying to attract the right people to you, and to do that you need to be specific.
For example, many people say in their profiles they to travel. “Travel” could mean anything from a trip to Disneyworld to hiking the Appalachian Trail to a Mediterranean cruise to a luxury safari in Kenya. Don't assume that the reader is going to know which of these you'd be into!
Talk about your favorite travel destinations, your dream vacation or the best trip you ever took – the person who loves your kind of travel – or is intrigued by it – will take note!
Rather than saying “I love to have fun” say “I love having fun – my ideal weekend includes bowling, a Netflix binge and a pancake brunch.” That's not everyone's idea of fun, but if it's yours – own it!
If one of your defining values is loyalty, show what that looks in your life. When you are in love, are you your partner's biggest cheerleader? Have you stood by your beloved losing baseball team? Or your childhood best friends? Look to your life for actual examples!
The added bonus of specificity is it gives people who want to reach out to you a “hook” to mention in a message to you.
4. Leave out the negative and the snarky.
It amazes me how many people use their precious profile real estate to talk about what they don't want or about their cynicism, bitterness or pessimism.
Negativity is so not sexy!
Not only do you come across as negative, but you also give the impression that you are the very thing you claim not to want. If you say “drama queens need not apply” I will assume that you have tons of relationship drama, which means you don't have the self-awareness to see how much of it you create!
The better you are at attracting the right people, the more the wrong ones won't be attracted to you. Besides – you can't avoid being contacted online by some people you don't want to date – that's par for the course. Your focus instead should be on being contacted by those you do want to date!
It is more effective to focus on attracting the right people than repelling the wrong ones.
Another common pitfall is sarcasm in the profile. You might be sarcastic, and that might be what people who know you love about you. But sarcasm doesn't translate well in an online profile, especially if you are a woman! Women might be more forgiving, but very few men will be instantly drawn to a woman who leads with sarcasm.
5. Decide the story you want to tell.
Your profile tells a story. It shouldn't be a novel (consider this a bonus tip!), but a short story that captures your personality. It might tell the story of an athletic, ambitious world traveler, or a geeky, sincere introvert. Or it could tell the story of a bitter, demanding perfectionist. Review your profile, photos and text together and ask yourself:
Who am I showing up as? What story am I telling of my life?
Your story is dictating who is attracted to you, so make sure you are grabbing the attention of the right people. If you aren't able to be objective about your profile, ask someone you trust to read it for you. Is it highlighting your best qualities? What are you saying between the lines? Is it what your ideal partner wants to hear?
Are you expressing what is both unique to you and what is attractive to who you want to date? If you can do that, you are winning! And you just might meet the perfect person for you online.
6. Check your spelling and grammar.
Since we're talking about writing a profile, I have to mention spelling and grammar. There is a lot of bad spelling and grammar out there. And there are a lot of online profiles that list spelling mistakes and bad grammar as a pet peeve. And some of those same people have spelling mistakes and bad grammar in their profiles!
Plenty of people will be forgiving of typos, but don't risk turning off someone just because you didn't use spellcheck.
The thoughtfulness and care you put into your profile will show and be appreciated by others. So make the effort to clean up your mistakes!
Francesca is a professional dating coach and matchmaker. You can catch her as a regular expert guest on NBC's The Today Show, and on The Hoda Kotb Show on SIriusXM. Get more free dating advice, including a guide to your perfect online photos at www.francescahogi.com!