- How the Internet Benefits Reclusive People
- Benefits of internet and social media
- This will help you to:
- Young people as social participants and active citizens
- Young people developing a voice and building trust
- Young people as content creators, managers and distributors
- Young people as collaborators and team players
- Young people as explorers and learners
- Young people becoming independent and building resilience
- Young people developing key and real world skills
- Is the Internet Turning People into Recluses?
- How the times have changed!
- Is Internet Putting Our Kids in Danger?
- Internet and Social Problems
- Out with Computers, in with Communication
- What Can I Do to Change?
- 5 Enormous Benefits Of Unplugging From The Internet
- Losing Control Over Our Lives
- Consider these staggering statistics:
- My Purpose
- Escaping Reality
- Clarification Of What Matters And What Doesn’t
- Resetting Unhealthy Patterns: Shifting From Inputs To Outputs
- Forced Presence And Productivity
- Reconnection With Real Friends
- Increase Motivation
- Technology is Destroying the Quality of Human Interaction
- Why I being a Recluse
- Ever since civilization exists, people want to get away from it
- As years were added to my age, I started to appreciate the time alone over the time spent with people
- My score was 98 100! And I barely finished high school
- There are more reasons why I love being a recluse
- There are 2 types of solo travelers:
- All information on this website is for free
How the Internet Benefits Reclusive People
Internet Communication | Source
The Internet may be the vehicle that drives some people into seclusion.
Many people become addicted to it, and they may lose the desire to socialize in live, face-to-face settings; or, they may have been victims of Internet stalking, and they fear venturing outside their homes or its immediate surroundings. People become reclusive for many reasons.
Most of those reasons have little to do with computers; however, the Internet does offer many conveniences that make being a recluse much easier than it had been prior to the launch of online services.
Design Work and the Internet
In the past, when people didn't want to leave their homes, they often had no other choice; they had to. Their needs and responsibilities forced them out into the world.
If they weren't fortunate enough to have personal assistants or somebody else to run their errands for them, they had to do those things themselves. In addition, most of them didn't have an endless supply of money lying around so they had to go out to work.
Reclusive people were among them. Some felt anxiety in the presence of others but they had to wrestle with those feelings almost every day as they went about surviving.
Some felt anxiety simply because they weren't inside their own homes, most ly, rushing to get back to their comfort zone. However, now people can access services through the Internet that make it possible for people to stay at home most of the time.
While some reclusive people have no interest in socializing whatsoever, others enjoy interacting with people; however, they don't want to leave their homes to do it. Social networking sites such as , Snapchat, and make it easy for social butterflies to spread their wings in the confines of their own home.
People who feel uncomfortable being in physical contact with others can send virtual hugs and kisses to let family or friends know they care. They can have real time face-to-face conversations without even being in the same room.
They can observe, through photos and videos, all the physical changes their loved ones experience without stepping foot outside their homes. In addition, they can join groups and participate in forums to virtually meet other people or to learn and share more about things that interest them.
For the reclusive person who would otherwise miss out on all these things, the Internet enhances their life experience.
Earning a Living at Home
People with some internet skills and a strong desire to avoid the outside world no longer have to leave their homes for employment. Many companies offer work from home opportunities. Furthermore, online courses are available for people to gain a diploma or certificate.
Some of these are designed specifically to teach and train people in fields which companies commonly offer home based employment for positions such as Computer Specialists, Graphic Designers, or Information Technology.
Other diploma or certificate programs, such as Web Design and Business Administration, often provide the knowledge and training needed for the entrepreneur to run their business from home.
For people who enjoy their solitude and want as much of it as possible, these options present a way that they can stay home and make a living.
One of the conveniences of the Internet is the ability to shop from home. This service helps alleviate much of the anxiety many reclusive people feel when they need items and they don't want to go to the store.
Instead of leaving the safety and comfort of their home and dealing with traffic and people, they can sit down in front of their computer and order just about anything they desire and have it delivered to their door.
Most retail and department stores have online catalogs where people can order anything from clothing to home goods and a myriad of things in between and they offer delivery services.
Some grocery services such as Schwan's have an online site where people can place their order and have their groceries delivered.
Some grocery stores such as Hy-Vee have a website where people can order any of the items they sell and they will bring them out to your car or deliver them to your house. The list of things people can order online goes on and on. These services make being reclusive less painful.
With companies, banks, stores, and others taking their businesses online, the time reclusive people have to spend away from home has dropped significantly. It's possible for a reclusive person to never pick up a check from an employer, or walk into a bank or store. The Internet makes it possible for them to have their paycheck directly deposited into their account.
They can order things and pay for their utilities and other bills online, They can pay with a credit or debit card or directly from their bank account. There are few things left that people have to leave their house for on a daily basis. Some might have to pick up their mail at the post office; however, for most people even that is delivered.
Life for the reclusive person is much easier than it once was.
Benefits of internet and social media
The internet and social media provide young people with a range of benefits, and opportunities to empower themselves in a variety of ways.
Young people can maintain social connections and support networks that otherwise wouldn't be possible, and can access more information than ever before.
The communities and social interactions young people form online can be invaluable for bolstering and developing young people's self-confidence and social skills.
This will help you to:
- understand some of the benefits of internet and social media
- understand why technology is so attractive to young people
- understand the positive uses of social media and online spaces
- talk to young people about what they use technology for.
The use of social media and networking services such as , , Instagram and Snapchat have become an integral part of Australians’ daily lives.
While many associate social media with a degradation of young people’s social networks and communication skills, a literature review published by the Young and Well Cooperative Research Centre found that social networking services actually play a vital role for in young people’s lives – delivering educational outcomes; facilitating supportive relationships; identity formation; and, promoting a sense of belonging and self-esteem. Read the review here.
In collaboration with young people, we’ve documented some of the positive benefits of internet and social media for young people.
Young people as social participants and active citizens
Social networking services can provide an accessible and powerful toolkit for highlighting and acting on issues and causes that affect and interest young people.
Social networking services can be used for organising activities, events, or groups to showcase issues and opinions and make a wider audience aware of them. E.g.
Coordinating band activities, fundraisers, and creating awareness of various causes.
Young people developing a voice and building trust
Social networking services can be used to hone debating and discussion skills in a local, national or international context. This helps users develop public ways of presenting themselves.
Personal skills are very important in this context: to make, develop and keep friendships, and to be regarded as a trusted connection within a network.
Social networking services can provide young people with opportunities to learn how to function successfully in a community, navigating a public social space and developing social norms and skills as participants in peer groups.
Young people as content creators, managers and distributors
Social networking services rely on active participation: users take part in activities and discussions on a site, and upload, modify or create content. This supports creativity and can support discussion about ownership of content and data management.
Young people who use social networking services to showcase content – music, film, photography or writing – need to know what permissions they are giving the host service, so that they can make informed decisions about how and what they place on the site.
Users might also want to explore additional licensing options that may be available to them within services – for example Creative Commons licensing – to allow them to share their work with other people in a range of ways.
Young people as collaborators and team players
Social networking services are designed to support users working, thinking and acting together. They also require listening and compromising skills.
Young people may need to ask others for help and advice in using services, or understand how platforms work by observing others, particularly in complex gaming or virtual environments.
Once users have developed confidence in a new environment, they will also have gained the experience to help others.
Young people as explorers and learners
Social networks encourage discovery. If someone is interested in certain books, bands, recipes or ideas, it's ly that their interest will be catered for by a social networking service or group within a service. If users are looking for something more specific or unusual then they could create their own groups or social networking sites.
Social networking services can help young people develop their interests and find other people who share the same interests. They can help introduce young people to new things and ideas, and deepen appreciation of existing interests.
They can also help broaden users' horizons by helping them discover how other people live and think in all parts of the world.
Young people becoming independent and building resilience
Online spaces are social spaces, and social networking services offer similar opportunities to those of offline social spaces: places for young people to be with friends or to explore alone, building independence and developing the skills they need to recognise and manage risk, to learn to judge and evaluate situations, and to deal effectively with a world that can sometimes be dangerous or hostile. However, such skills can't be built in isolation, and are more ly to develop if supported. Going to a social networking service for the first time as a young person alone can be compared to a young person's first solo trip to a city centre, and thus it is important for a young person to know how to stay safe in this new environment.
Young people developing key and real world skills
Managing an online presence and being able to interact effectively online is becoming an increasingly important skill in the workplace.
Being able to quickly adapt to new technologies, services and environments is already regarded as a highly valuable skill by employers, and can facilitate both formal and informal learning.
Most services are text based, which encourages literacy skills, including interpretation, evaluation and contextualisation.
Is the Internet Turning People into Recluses?
Do you ever feel guilty about the amount of time you spend at your computer each day? Do you feel bad that you have wasted an hour watching videos on or tweeting instead of doing something worthwhile? Do you sometimes feel that you are frittering away your life looking at other people’s profiles on instead of writing your first novel or decorating the bathroom?
It could be that it is time to rethink your lifestyle and your online habits. There are those who fear that our society is becoming reclusive and that we are losing our social skills and our ability to interact normally with the outside world due to overuse of the Internet. These days we are all communicating from different rooms rather than meeting together to talk.
The notion of Internet addiction is nothing new; in fact, it dates back to the 1990’s where it was even given a name – Internet Addiction Disorder. What is interesting reading these studies today is how many of the elements which were considered symptoms of this disorder have now become part and parcel of our daily lives.
Example symptoms of Internet Addiction Disorder as described in the 90’s include; the tendency to lose track of time when on the web; making use of online services regularly and checking emails several times each day! Well, it looks many of us have those problems today!
Let’s not forget that back in the 90’s there was nothing the same level of social activity on the Internet. Users were considered at risk of depression due to their disconnection from the outside world and their lack of friends, which contributed to elevated stress levels.
The studies concluded that the computer habits of ‘heavy’ users of the Internet resembled behavior symptomatic of other addictions, such as alcoholism or drug use. Withdrawal from society, lying about the time spent on the addiction and the breakdown of relationships with family and friends are just some of the signs of addiction.
How the times have changed!
These days, we are constantly being told that Internet is all about communication with others. Gone are the days of the lonely nerd in front of his computer. Nowadays, the rise of social media means that we have relationships with people all over the world. If you have 500 friends, then there is nothing to worry about, right!
The experts tell us that online communication is no substitute for the real thing. Asking your child in person what they think of the Nintendo DSi XL is better than typing “best toy 2011 Christmas” into a search box.
What’s more, it has been proven that physical contact with other people is actually beneficial to health. Communicating in person in a face-to-face situation can prevent you from turning into an Internet recluse, racked with anxiety and facing depression.
Critics of online communication warn of the superficial nature of the friendships, which we make online, too. They also fear that society in general is losing the ability to communication naturally and that social skills are being lost.
Is Internet Putting Our Kids in Danger?
All parents worry about their children and many these days are concerned about the amount of time their offspring spend online. It could be that a child who is lacking in self-confidence takes refuge in the relative safety of online relationships, which are easier to conduct. No need to look someone in the eye, no need to worry about what they think of your physical appearance.
It may be a good way for a shy child to socialize, but this kind of withdrawal from society can make it difficult for children to forge real relationships later on in life and can even lead to a lifetime of social isolation. It is important for young people to develop the social skills necessary for interaction in the outside world, too.
Internet and Social Problems
It is not just children who choose the safety of online relationships over real life. Communication is easier online than in person and if you dis a person you can simply unfriend them. But the Internet is no substitute for a conversation and none of the essential non-verbal signs are present such as facial expression and body language.
It can be easy to be lured into the idea of living one’s social life only through the Internet. After all, there is the freedom to be whomever we want online, and there is complete control over the amount of contact we have with other people. If somebody makes you uncomfortable then it’s easy to avoid contact with them. This kind of luxury is not always available in real life.
The sense of not being in control is a major component in social anxiety, and socializing via the Internet means that you don’t have to confront those fears, but can simply avoid them. At the end of the day, it is so much easier to chat online than look straight in the eyes of someone who makes us feel intimidated.
Finally, many of us are prone to a little laziness and sometimes it is easier to chat with friends online rather than dress up and go out. If there’s a job to be done, then the Internet or a quick hand of Solitaire can be a great way of wasting time while the bills pile up and the dust accumulates.
Out with Computers, in with Communication
It’s time to take control of your use of all the high-tech equipment available today. Don’t be an Internet victim, don’t turn into a high-tech junkie, but learn how to use these tools efficiently without letting them take over your life. There are, after all, so many advantages to our use of computers in modern life.
There is evidence to suggest that making friends via the Internet gives people a far more diverse range of acquaintances than was previously possible. Increased contact with people from different walks of life, different age groups, background, nationality and race can only be beneficial, even if we may never meet most of them in person.
The Internet has also made it so much easier to find answers to questions. Whether it is a health question, a parenting concern, educational worries, there is no shortage of advice out there. We can easily ask people who have experienced similar problems or situations to give us some pointers. There are tons of people out there who are happy to help and to give of their time.
Internet has also been instrumental in reconnecting people suffering from physical or mental illness with others in similar situations and people who used to feel alone now have the support of networks all over the world.
What Can I Do to Change?
In our social lives, it is important to find a balance between an Internet social network and the real life social network of friends and colleagues.
It is time to call a halt to some bad habits, such as checking email every hour and logging on to and 20 times a day. It’s unnecessary and it’s time, which could be better spent elsewhere.
If you are not spending all day every day on your computer then you are going to spend it somewhere else. Think back to the days before all the mobile technology we have today.
People got by and they had friends and family to help with problems.
If you feel that you are using the Internet excessively as an escape from other aspects of your life, then it might be time to start talking rather than typing.
Getting out into the community can bring many rewards. Visiting friends or going out for coffee or a bite to eat, all of these elements can help to bring a positive change to your life. It’s too easy to become engrossed in the world of Internet when there’s a whole world right outside the front door!
As a senior Pat Tate started to explore Internet Marketing. She uses her blog as a journal to keep track of the people and programs that she has met along the way. Grandma’s Internet Marketing/blog
She is an avid golfer and invites women to join her to talk golf at Women’s Golf Center
She has always loved toys and as the proud Grandmother of five beautiful Grandchildren she gets to play with new ones. Grandma’s Toy Review
5 Enormous Benefits Of Unplugging From The Internet
I have a confession: I’m an addict.
I can’t stop checking my email, social media, and phone. I’ve surrendered my ability to be present with my family and to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. It eats me up inside, every time I do it. But I don’t stop.
According to research, self-regulation is the psychological process that detects inconsistency between our goals and our behaviors. It is the ignition of our motivational forces which helps us get from where we are to where we want to be.
Specifically, self-regulation works in three ways:
Self-monitoring determines how well we are currently performing.
Self-evaluation determines how well we are performing comparative to our goals.
Self-reaction determines how we think and feel comparative to our goals. When we feel dissatisfied with our performance, self-reaction pushes us to reallocate our motivation resources.
Recently, I’ve been highly aware and disgusted by my behavior. If I’m going to achieve my goals, my performance needs to alter profoundly. It’s sad it came to this—but an intervention was necessary and I decided to go off the grid for five weeks. No social media. Email and phone check only once at the end of each day.
The results and insights of this personal experiment were more radical than I expected.
Losing Control Over Our Lives
How many times have you checked your email and/or today?
How about in the past hour?
It is almost impossible to not be addicted to constantly “checking-in” in our society. Not only checking-in, but shifting frequently from one thing to the next. As we’ve become accustomed to constant interruptions, our attention spans have radically shrunk and our ability to focus is dismal.
Consider these staggering statistics:
People between the ages of 15 and 30 spend approximately 3 hours on social media every day. People older than that spend the same amount of time watching TV. With these numbers, the average person spends over 9 years of their lives on these activities.
– Collectively, humanity spends 39,757 years on every single day.
– Most people check their at least 14 times per day.
– 79 percent of people check within 15 minutes of waking up. Hilariously, 62 percent cannot even wait those 15 minutes and check their smartphone immediately upon waking.
– 84 percent of cell phone users claim they could not go a single day without their device.
– Studies indicate many people check their devices every 6.5 minutes.
– Not only that, our cell phone addiction even impedes our sleep! Nearly half of cell phone owners sleep with their phone next to their bed because they don’t want to “miss anything.”
Consider these prophetic words by Peter Drucker:
“In a few hundred years, when the history of our time will be written from a long-term perspective, it is ly that the most important event historians will see is not technology, not the Internet, not e-commerce.
It is an unprecedented change in the human condition. For the first time – literally – substantial and rapidly growing numbers of people have choices. For the first time, they will have to manage themselves.
And society is totally unprepared for it.”
Unless we do something about this, we’re hosed. Collectively if we don’t do something about this, society is hosed.
This article is a desperate plea to take back control of our lives. If you are addicted, please consider unplugging for an extended period of time. After you do this, please create new patterns in your brain that allow you to unplug multiple times each day. Your happiness (and success), and the happiness of those around you depend on it.
Since the early 1980’s, Bill Gates has gone into seclusion for two, one-week “Think Weeks” per year. His family, friends and Microsoft employees are banned from these retreats, during which Gates spends the majority of his time reading and thinking. Many insights and innovations at Microsoft are the fruits of these Think Weeks.
Similarly, every seven years, designer Stefan Sagmeister closes his New York studio for a yearlong sabbatical to rejuvenate and refresh his creative outlook. In his captivating Ted Talk, he explains the massive overflow of innovative projects that were inspired during his time in Bali.
Bill Gates and Stefan Sagmeister are not the only creatives who take regular retreats these. Steve Jobs did something similar, as does Mark Zuckerberg.
In his landmark book, The 4-hour Work Week, Tim Ferriss proposes what he terms, “Mini-retirements,” which are a media detox lasting at least four weeks but preferably three months or longer. “You want a complete removal from your day to day routine and day to day reactions,” Ferriss says. “One of the main purposes of a mini-retirement is acting as a reset button.”
Ideally, these retreats take place outside your typical environment. However, I wanted to test the possibilities within the chaos of my normal life. I wanted to prove to anyone that they can unplug in the midst of their busy schedule and find themselves.
I challenge you to read this article, not only with your head, but with your heart. This is serious. I strongly believe your happiness, relationships, and even your highest contribution to society depend on your ability to detach from your addiction to all the noise.
Clarification Of What Matters And What Doesn’t
“Working on the right thing is probably more important than working hard.”—Caterina Fake (CEO-Founder, Flickr)
When you disconnect from everything going on, you can actually get space to ponder and reflect. You will quickly become clear about what is misguided in your life.
You will be shocked by how much time you are spending in the thick of thin things. Indeed, 80 percent of the things we do account for around 20 percent of our results. These are the things we need to remove.
Purging from social media and entering what Greg McKeown calls, “monk-mode” has allowed me to focus on the essentials. Almost everything in life is a distraction.
Resetting Unhealthy Patterns: Shifting From Inputs To Outputs
For most people, the immediate response upon returning from a break is to check email. In spare seconds, we hop on and check the newsfeed. We’ve become addicted to input. Or in other words, we’ve become addicted to reactively being guided by other people’s agendas.
Interestingly, when we make a fundamental shift in our lives, often, everything else begins to fall into place. The cool part is, we don’t have to try to fix everything. Instead, we focus on one keystone habit—which tightly locks all of your other habits in place. Without the keystone, everything falls apart.
In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg describes keystone habits as, “small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives.”
As I’ve disconnected from social media and given myself the space to think and work, my diet has radically improved, I’ve become a better husband and father, and I’m more organized. That one change caused a massive ripple effect.
Forced Presence And Productivity
I remember the first night of being and email sober, I didn’t have anything to do but hangout with my wife.
After putting the kids to bed, my wife and I generally chill on our computers in the same room, coexisting. But here I sat with my day’s work behind me and nothing but reality before me.
I told my wife to get off and we watched an episode of American Ninja Warrior together.
It was a strange reality that being present was my natural state. Usually I have to focus on being present. Now, it took no effort. My eyes have been opened.
Similar to being present, productivity has also become my natural state. Because I’m not jumping onto or checking my email every few minutes, I’m able to focus on my work. It’s startling how simple life has become.
Reconnection With Real Friends
One benefit I did not expect from purging social media and email was the reconnect to old friends and family. It’s true that in our hyper connected world, we’ve lost touch with connecting to our people in certain ways.
I’ve been sending video text messages to friends and cousins I haven’t talked to in years. It’s been a lot of fun to rekindle old ties.
Not only that, but I’ve been able to have some deeply intimate and important conversations with people who are struggling. These conversations wouldn’t have happened if I was lost in the void of my addiction. But since I’ve been able to find space, my conscious awareness of others has expanded. I’m more available and ready to meet their needs and be a blessing in their lives.
From a research perspective, motivation is the psychological force that energizes, directs, and sustains behavior. Thus, self-regulation, motivation functions in three primary ways:
1. Direction: The target of your motivation. What are you trying to do?
2. Intensity: The level of effort, attention, and focus devoted to a task. How bad to you want it?
3. Persistence: The sustained effort over time, ability to face rejection and failure, and tolerance of stress before you quit or stop. How long will you work to get it?
Naturally, as I’ve been successful at being more present and productive, my motivation levels have sky-rocketed. I’ve built confidence my abilities because I’m seeing myself succeed in the key areas of my life. My vision for what I can achieve has expanded.
As my goals have grown, the distance between them and my current behaviors has also grown. I’m now living beneath my goals and thus need to change. Self-regulation is doing its job and I’m in growth-mode.
If you’ve read this far, you may be addicted to social media and your email. Do yourself, your family, and your work a favor and take break.
You’ll be blown away by how much life you’ll get back.
Photo credit: @felixtriller
Technology is Destroying the Quality of Human Interaction
Arts & Entertainment Editor
Photo by Andrea Rodriguez
I had a terrible nightmare the other night. Instead of meeting for a quick cup of coffee, my friend and I spent 30 minutes texting back and forth about our day. After that, instead of going in to talk to my professor during his office hours, I emailed him from home with my question.
Because of this, he never got to know who I was, even though he would have been a great source for a letter of recommendation if he had. I ignored a cute guy at the bus stop asking me the time because I was busy responding to a text.
And I spent far too much time on trying to catch up with my 1000+ “friends,” most of whom I rarely see, and whose meaning sadly seems to dispel even more as the sheer number of “connections” I’ve made grows.
Oh wait, that wasn’t a dream. This technological detachment is becoming today’s reality.
Little by little, Internet and mobile technology seems to be subtly destroying the meaningfulness of interactions we have with others, disconnecting us from the world around us, and leading to an imminent sense of isolation in today’s society. Instead of spending time in person with friends, we just call, text or instant message them.
It may seem simpler, but we ultimately end up seeing our friends face to face a lot less. Ten texts can’t even begin to equal an hour spent chatting with a friend over lunch. And a smiley-face emoticon is cute, but it could never replace the ear-splitting grin and smiling eyes of one of your best friends. Face time is important, people.
We need to see each other.
This doesn’t just apply to our friends; it applies to the world around us.
It should come as no surprise that face-to-face interaction is proven by studies to comfort us and provide us with some important sense of well-being, whether it’s with friends or friendly cashiers in the checkout line of Albertson’s. That’s actually the motivation behind Albertson’s decision last year to take all of the self-checkout lanes its stores: an eerie lack of human contact.
There’s something intangibly real and valuable about talking with someone face to face. This is significant for friends, partners, potential employers, and other recurring people that make up your everyday world. That person becomes an important existing human connection, not just someone whose disembodied text voice pops up on your cell phone, iPad or computer screen.
It seems we have more extended connections than ever in this digital world, which can be great for networking, if it’s used right. The sad fact of the matter is that most of us don’t. It’s too hard to keep up with 1000 friends, let alone 200. At that point, do we even remember their names? We need to start prizing the meaning of quality in our connections, not sheer quantity.
One of my best friends from my hometown has 2,241 friends. Sure, her posts get a ton of feedback, but when I asked her about the quality of those relationships, she said to me that she really has few friends that she can trust and spend time with happily. Using a strange conundrum this as a constructive example, we should consider pruning our rampant online connections at the very least.
Past evolutionary psychology research by British anthropologist and psychologist Robin Dunbar has revealed that people are actually limited to a certain number of stable, supportive connections with others in their social network: roughly 150.
Furthermore, recent follow-up research by Cornell University’s Bruno Goncalves used data to show that despite the current ability to connect with vast amounts of people via the Internet, a person can still only truly maintain a friendship with a maximum of 100 to 200 real friends in their social network.
While technology has allowed us some means of social connection that would have never been possible before, and has allowed us to maintain long-distance friendships that would have otherwise probably fallen by the wayside, the fact remains that it is causing ourselves to spread ourselves too thin, as well as slowly ruining the quality of social interaction that we all need as human beings.
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So what are we doing with 3000 friends on the Internet? Why are we texting all the time? Seems a big waste of time to me. Let’s spend more time together with our friends. Let’s make the relationships that count last, and not rely on technology to do the job for us.
Why I being a Recluse
Many studies state that human beings need contact with other human beings. We need both the intellectual, social and sexual interactions with other human beings in order to blossom and grow.
As a reclusive, I can say: I’m only human. Occasionally I do need contact with human beings, as only to prove that I love my reclusive lifestyle.
It is also said that people who live as recluses are those who are wounded, emotionally immature or suffer from some kind of social disorder. Maybe for some people living a solo life is not merely by choice but by a (mal)function in the brain. But it is always a choice to give in to it. Especially when it has to do with past experiences.
When on an occasional lonely night I search the internet for fellow hermits and how they balance their human needs for contact, I learn that many modern hermits were once very sociable people, but dropped society for a brief moment. To recuperate from a phase, to heal and to get away from ‘it all’ for a while. Only to discover how peaceful a reclusive life is and to never return fully to that social amiable life they used to live.
There are several stages of how reclusive you want to live. Some end up in a log cabin in the woods without electricity, internet or phone.
This article gives you 2 examples of the extreme of modern-day hermits.
Ever since civilization exists, people want to get away from it
Escaping the 9-5 society, escaping family gatherings, escaping it all. Some of us do not function well in a world full of rules, noise, and obligations. Becoming a recluse is not something that comes upon you, it is a choice and it grows on you.
I always had the feeling I was a misfit when it came to society. I did never fit in. And although I was the fun girl at parties once, I now hate it when I have to go to one.For a while, I made up every excuse I could think of to get the invitation without losing face or hurting the other person’s feelings.
In the end, I just ended up saying I was not into parties anymore.
I guess for me the venom lies in the “ not wanting to hurt anybody’s feelings”, That is where it usually goes wrong between me and society (read people): I avoided confrontations to the max, and by doing so I got hurt a lot.
I’m HSP (Highly Sensitive Personality) and I need a certain amount of ‘me-time’ to recuperate from daily life.
As years were added to my age, I started to appreciate the time alone over the time spent with people
My way of thinking is totally different from others. And I always felt that but never knew why. I have a different way of observing the world and capturing thoughts. Maybe because I started traveling at the age of 17 when I rounded the entire South American continent?
Anyway, it took a while to discover what ‘is wrong with me’. But now I know: my thoughts go with the speed of light. And here is how I discovered that:
I once attended a seminar where we had to do a test. The room was filled with academics and they took their time filling out the test form. I kind of worried that I finished mine so fast. It was not that difficult? Was it?
Did I miss the point maybe?
The spokesman saw me and came up to me and said: Don’t worry, finished is finished. Can I have a look?
And when he looked over my form he smiled and said: Just be honest during the evaluation. You will surprise yourself.
It was one of those agonizing hand-raising evaluation things…how many of you answered….and than raise your hand.
My hand went up a lot while others did not raise theirs. I felt awkward. Red face, all sweaty in the armpits I can tell you that.
I was the sole person with an exceptionally high score, and I finished the test in only a few minutes.
My score was 98 100! And I barely finished high school
Later, during lunch, the trainer stood next to me, we were at a race track overlooking the cars speeding away from the pit stop and he said: that is you….
you go from 0-200 miles per hour in a split second. Your brain is different from the multitudes. Do not compare yourself to them or be belittled by them. They will never understand.
And because they do not understand they will judge you and scorn you.
That was the wisest, and probably the nicest thing a person ever said to me. He almost made me cry that day. And he probably doesn’t know how much his words meant to me. He repaired my battered soul more than time or solitude could. He explained ME to me.
I became a lover of solitude. Not because I’m different and I wish to set myself apart. But because in solitude I can hear myself think, I can be creative, I can produce.I am not a team player.
And I have come to accept that.
There are more reasons why I love being a recluse
- waking up in my own routine, having a coffee before anything else, write my morning pages without interruption
- spending money the way I see fit, without consulting my other half
- deciding what to do with my day all by myself, no obligations
- training my self-discipline to be productive all by myself
- it makes me more resourceful, before asking anybody for help, I try to solve my own problems and I can do so much more than I think I can
- it gives me strength for those days I do have to face the world, it rebuilds my energy level
- I follow my own course and I can be authentic without constraints
- I decide when I let the world in when I want to socialize
As you can see, I do use the internet, so I’m not as reclusive as many hermits that retrieve in a log cabin in the woods. I live in busy places mostly, filled with tourists and noise. But I can get away from it all whenever I want.
And yes, sometimes I do get lonely, as a matter of fact, loneliness was the underlying reason for writing this article. I made a list (I love lists) with the benefits of being single again (I just broke up with my 1-year boyfriend accepting that is did not work (again)) and living my life a little outside society. And that is how this article came about.
There are 2 types of solo travelers:
Those that thrive in hostels rather than hotels, for hostels help them to connect to others and fill the emptiness of solo travel.
And there are those that truly travel alone, with their own thoughts and on their own trips, carrying their own luggage.
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