- Long-Distance Relationship Tips – Advice for Couples Who Live Far Apart
- Get on the same page about communication
- Schedule date nights
- Foster closeness
- Put travel plans on the calendar.
- Fall in love with snail mail.
- Do emotional health check-ins
- Prioritize Intimacy
- Create a bucket list
- Work toward an individual goal
- Turn to a community
- Engage in friendly competition
- Crib ideas from other people.
- Define a move date — or at least a general plan
- 26 Uplifting Quotes on Long Distance Relationships
- 1. Shannon A. Thompson on Absence
- 2. Edward Thomas Wants Her Near
- 3. Richard Bach Says to Be Present
- 4. Helen Keller Knows the Feeling
- 5. Roger de Bussy-Rabutin Says to Stay Strong
- 6. Kay Knudsen Knows That Love Connects You
- 7. Linda Roy on Long Distance Love
- 8. Hands Nouwens Knows There Is a Way
- 9. Thomas Haynes Bayly on Fondness
- 10. Andrew Davidson on Whispers of Love
- 11. Senora Roy Knows They Are in Your Heart
- 12. Charles Dickens Says the Joy Is Worth It
- 13. Senora Ray on Real Love
- 14. Gandhi Carries Love in the Heart
- 15. Dee King Says Love Has No Limits
- 16. Steve Maraboli on the Power of Love
- 17. Khalil Gibran Love Deepens With Absence
- 18. Shannon A. Thompson is Always With You
- 19. Anna Agoncillo Knows the Price You Pay
- 20. Nicholas Sparks Says More Love Happens
- 21. Dee King Knows You Can Do It
- 22. Nicholas Sparks Understand the Challenges of Love
- 23. Peter McWilliams Wants You To Take a Chance
- 24. A.A. Milne Knows It’s Bittersweet
- 25. Frank Lloyd Wright Says Keep the Faith
- 26. Erica Jong Knows Love Is Wonderful
- 6 Ways to Build Trust in a Long Distance Relationship
- What is Trust?
- 1. Keep a Healthy Level of Conversation Going
- 2. Make each other a priority
- 3. Be Open and Honest With Each Other About Feelings
- 4. Send Special Surprises and Celebrate Milestones
- 5. Share a Calendar or To-Do List
- 6. Help Them Know Your Other Friends and Family
- What does trust mean to you, and how have you built trust in your long distance relationship?
- 6 survival tips for couples in a long-distance relationship | Her World Singapore
- Always say goodnight and good morning via texts
- Try a video call daily, if not every other day
- Manage your own insecurities or jealousy when apart
- Plan regular trips to see each other
- Appreciate your own free time and learn to enjoy it
- Embrace sexting
- 6 Positive Things To Remember To Keep Your Long-Distance Love Flourishing
- 1. Your relationship is stronger than you think
- 2. You're defining and redefining your core values.
- 3. The glass is half full.
- 4. Novelty is boosting your bond.
- 5. Overextending isn't necessary.
- 6. It’s OK if long distance isn't for you.
Long-Distance Relationship Tips – Advice for Couples Who Live Far Apart
One piece of advice that is totally unhelpful for couples in a long-distance relationship (or LDR): “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
” Being miles apart can really test the strength of a relationship, and you need something more than an old adage that to get you through.
We’ve interviewed couples in long-time LDRs, as well as relationship experts, in hopes of giving your across-the-miles partnership an inspirational boost.
Get on the same page about communication
Certainly communication is key, but often, couples assume they’ll just “talk” daily as it fits into their schedules. But “talking” could mean wildly different things to each person. Is this texting? Actual conversations? Video chat? Email?
“Take some time with your partner and negotiate how often and what modality you want to use to connect,” says Catalina Lawsin, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in California.
“The key word here is negotiate. You each may have different needs around how often you’re connecting.
Each partner needs to identify their needs, and the two need to come to a compromise that’s realistic and they can stick to.”
Schedule date nights
While most of the week may be filled with texts and quick phone calls, having a standing Skype date in place will help you feel closer to your partner, no matter where the two of you are located.
“A virtual date is just as important as a physical date,” says Sahra Sajasi, who lives in Los Angeles, while her boyfriend resides in London. “If you don’t set a day and time, sometimes life will get away from you and you’ll keep postponing that FaceTime call.”
So, what are you going to do on your weekly date? Some couples have found success in spending their virtual time doing seemingly mundane things that other couples do in person.
This could be cooking a meal at the same time (same recipe or not), watching a movie together, or discussing a book you’ve both been reading. Maybe you’ll even relax in a bath at the same time.
Meg Connolly, who was in a long-distance relationship for three years before marrying, recalls her husband ordering food and sending it to her apartment while he called in the same take-out for himself 1,500 miles away.
Put travel plans on the calendar.
Regular visits are a given in LDR. Alternating who hops on a plane or makes the drive is important, but Annie Hsueh, Ph.D.
, a licensed psychologist at Hope and Sage Therapy in Torrance, California suggests meeting up somewhere in the middle. Not only is it a fair compromise, she says, it also allows a couple to explore a new place together.
Pairing the excitement of a new city with the thrill of being reunited is a win-win.
Fall in love with snail mail.
Instant gratification is easily met with an emoji exchange or a selfie swap, but taking the time to pen a note or send a care package adds an element of surprise and a bit of romance to the relationship.
“If they're in a country or city away from home and feeling home sick, you can send their favorite snack or another piece of 'home,'” Dr. Hsueh says.
DIY gifts are a big hit, too, since they come from your own hands and time.
Do emotional health check-ins
Every human being, whether they're in an LDR or not, has good days and bad. But for those in a relationship where they live with or see their partner daily, there’s a level of comfort that is met with the physical presence of their loved one. It’s important to share openly about all aspects of life, whether it’s celebrations or stressors.
“Check in with one another about how your decision as a couple to be long-distance is affecting you individually,” Lawsin says.
“Integrate these occasionally so that these conversations aren’t seen as threatening or a sign that something’s wrong, but that instead your checking on how the other is coping with the distance and what may need to be adjusted to maintain and grow the relationship.”
Just because you may not be physically together, doesn’t mean you can’t establish intimacy. “Keep sex alive, no matter how you do it,” Lawsin says. “Appreciate that you both have sexual needs, and be open to talking about these to negotiate how each partner’s needs can be met.” We'll let you take it from there.
Create a bucket list
Along with counting down the days until the next time you see each other, Sajasi and her boyfriend also recommend keeping a bucket list of sorts, so you and your partner are planning the future together.
“We are constantly sending each other restaurants we want to go to or places we want to visit together,” she says. She suggests keeping some sort of digital document that you can both add to as ideas arise. Then, find a fun way to commemorate the “list” as you complete it.
This could be a scrapbook detailing the fun things you've done together, or a Flickr or other shared account where you can store your photos digitally.
Work toward an individual goal
Sometimes it may feel your end goal is sharing a home (or at least a zip code) with your significant other, but keep your personal goals at the forefront as well. Share these desires with your partner, so they can help cheer you on, and make sure you're headed in the same direction.
Turn to a community
There is an online group for everything, including those in long distance relationships. After spending 18 months in a LDR, Nate and Lolo Hockley created a blog called Lasting the Distance to exchange advice with other couples.
Nine years later, they live together in Canada, where they're raising a son, but they say the community they found through the site was kept them going through the highs and lows of their LDR.
Whether it’s a group or a local Meetup, seek out a support system that can really relate to what you're going through.
Engage in friendly competition
The Hockleys say that online games are one of the most popular bonding activities in their LDR community — there's nothing a little head-to-head action to get the blood pumping.
But even if you're not into video games, you can try something placing bets on who can clock the best individual 5k time, or who can get the best record on an online trivia app Learned League.
Keeping up an ongoing a competition is just another little way to stay connected.
Crib ideas from other people.
Sam Laliberte and her boyfriend, Jared, have been living three time zones apart for a couple of years.
They interviewed a slew of couples and psychologists to create The #LDR Activity Book, which has chapters that are to be completed together as well as individual questions to fill in.
There are personality tests, crosswords, and even games and other resources for things conflict resolution. It might sound cheesy, but there's a lot of wisdom gained from LDR experience packed into those pages.
Define a move date — or at least a general plan
After it’s clear that both parties are in this for the long-haul, begin to make plans of uniting for good. Of course, this is going to look very different for every couple, but knowing your LDR isn’t forever makes the hard days worth it.
“It's very hard to have an indefinite long-distance relationship,” said Jacob Brown, marriage and family therapist in California.
“It works best if you establish from the beginning that if you’re still in love in six months or a year one of you will move. The sense that there is a defined time limit makes it much easier to endure the separation.
” The ideal timeframe is different for every couple, but it's good to make sure you're working off the same general life plan.
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26 Uplifting Quotes on Long Distance Relationships
Long distance relationships are never easy. It can be hard to be apart from your love for weeks or months at a time. The distance does not make it impossible to have a great relationship though. Read through these long distance relationship quotes to find comfort as you navigate the distance within your own relationship.
1. Shannon A. Thompson on Absence
“She affected me, even when she was absent.” – Shannon A. Thompson
When you love someone deeply, they affect every part of your life. They can be in the next room or a continent away and you will feel their effects on you. Distance does not make that go away. If you have a long distance relationship then you can easily understand this.
2. Edward Thomas Wants Her Near
“The simple lack of her is more to me than others’ presence.” – Edward Thomas
Being without someone you love means so much to you, especially in the quiet dark of night. Being around other people is not a substitute for having your lover to touch, hold, and whisper sweet nothings to. The lack of your partner makes a bigger impact than being around others at times.
3. Richard Bach Says to Be Present
“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.” – Richard Bach
Distance between you and your partner can make you fonder of the time you spend together, but being truly present will give your relationship a strength you never knew existed. What is presence in a relationship? It’s giving your whole attention to your partner with no distractions, listening and loving them with your entire being.
4. Helen Keller Knows the Feeling
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller
If you and your partner live miles away from each other, it can be a challenge for sure. However, your love is beautiful and if you can’t see or touch the one you love, then feel them with your heart. Carry them with you every day until you can once again see and touch their face.
5. Roger de Bussy-Rabutin Says to Stay Strong
“Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.” – Roger de Bussy-Rabutin
Take a look at the love you have within your long distance relationship. If your love is established well, then the absence between you will only kindle a greater love. It takes depth, courage, and consistency to maintain a resilient long distance relationship.
6. Kay Knudsen Knows That Love Connects You
“Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart.” – Kay Knudsen
Now isn’t this just cute? The warmth you feel because you are close in heart with the one you love can make being apart unbearable at times. But that warmth you feel means that the two of you are connected and missing each other.
7. Linda Roy on Long Distance Love
“The distance maybe far and wide but my heart can cover them all. The space between us is so much more but you should know that I love you so!” – Linda Roy
Your heart, though tender, is strong enough to weather any storm and any distance between you and your love. The heart can cover miles with the love you feel every day. Though the space between you might be great, cling to the love that is there and the time you see each other will be sweet indeed.
8. Hands Nouwens Knows There Is a Way
“In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged.” – Hands Nouwens
When you experience true love, just having your partner at work for the day is a distance too great and you can’t wait to see them again. However with many miles between you, true love knows now to build bridges to ensure the love still exists no matter how many miles separate you.
9. Thomas Haynes Bayly on Fondness
“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” – Thomas Haynes Bayly
This is a quote that has made its rounds in society. However, the statement remains true. When someone is living apart from you, the heart grows fonder by the pure fact of you missing them. You realize that it’s hard to take your lover for granted when you don’t get to see them as much.
10. Andrew Davidson on Whispers of Love
“If you listen to the wind very carefully, you’ll be able to hear me whisper my love for you.” – Andrew Davidson
One comforting thing about having a long distance relationship is that when you look at the sun or the moon and stars, your lover can see the same ones from where they are. When the wind blows, imagine it having blown across their skin and now yours; hear the whisper of their love for you in nature.
11. Senora Roy Knows They Are in Your Heart
“Some people can be so close to you even if physically far, they walk with you and stay near in every moment of your life.” – Senora Roy
When you are in love with someone who lives a great distance away, they can still remain close to you in your heart. Their presence can be felt every time you think of them. If they are never far from your mind and heart, they are never far away at all.
12. Charles Dickens Says the Joy Is Worth It
“The Pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.” – Charles Dickens
It can be heart wrenching to say goodbye to the love of your life. To separate yourselves because of a long distance situation can be challenging. However, think to the times when you will meet again and the joy that supersedes the pain of saying goodbye.
13. Senora Ray on Real Love
“Being close is the first and last desire of lovers, but being far and loving each other without an inch’s difference is the characteristic of real love.” – Senora Ray
Real love will be tested under the struggle of a long distance relationship. However, if your love is real to the core and true as true can be, then the distance will not affect the love you have for each other. If being apart makes little difference to you both, except in regards to the amount of face time you get, then congratulate yourself on a strong relationship!
14. Gandhi Carries Love in the Heart
“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.”- Gandhi
When you part from your lover, do not think of it as a goodbye, because to say goodbye carries energy of finality; of pain. But if you walk away with the idea that they are with you in your heart until the day you are reunited, then perhaps the parting will be a touch easier.
15. Dee King Says Love Has No Limits
“Love will travel as far as you let it. It has no limits.” – Dee King
Love does not know state lines, international boundaries, or flight plans. Love transcends any time and distance. It is pure and strong. There are no limits so do not let distance dictate how much you decide to love someone. Love is stronger than the miles between you.
16. Steve Maraboli on the Power of Love
“I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance.” – Steve Maraboli
We’ve talked about this a lot here. True love can withstand any long distances between you and your lover, it really can. It can endure hardships of any kind, if you but let it. Love can connect you even if your partner lives across the planet. Tap into the immeasurable power of love.
17. Khalil Gibran Love Deepens With Absence
“And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” – Khalil Gibran
So it’s time to evaluate the depth of your love. Can you still feel it when you are separated from your partner? Does being apart strengthen or weaken your relationship? Though parting feels painful, it can be the very sustenance you need until the time you can see them again.
18. Shannon A. Thompson is Always With You
“We were together even when we were apart.” – Shannon A. Thompson
There’s more you can do than just carry your partner in your heart. Set up face time date nights on the computer. Send weekly cards and letters in the mail, send flowers, and connect on social media. Use the tools at your disposal to be closer to your partner while you are far away from each other.
19. Anna Agoncillo Knows the Price You Pay
“If you found that one person who is really worth the sacrifices, pain, and hardships then your efforts will not go to waste.” – Anna Agoncillo
When you are truly in love with someone, no challenges or problems can keep you from loving them. All sacrifices, especially those that are made when living long distance from each other, are worth it if the person you love is worth it. Don’t let the distance keep you from having a wonderful relationship.
20. Nicholas Sparks Says More Love Happens
“Sometimes you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn’t make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more.” – Nicholas Sparks
Why do we love people more when we are apart from them? Well, it has to do with realizing that you should never take someone you love for granted. It makes you appreciate all the time you do get to spend with them, as well as make you more grateful for having them in your life.
21. Dee King Knows You Can Do It
“Be the success story you’re looking for. Be the ones to survive your long distance relationship. Be the inspiration for others to follow.” – Dee King
Everyone tends to think that long distance relationships are doomed to fail. It’s true that many do. However, you can be the ones who make it. You can be the ones who last through time and distance. It takes work, and if you both are committed then you will be an inspiration to all other long distance couples.
22. Nicholas Sparks Understand the Challenges of Love
“It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. ” – Nicholas Sparks
When you really want each other, you do what it takes to make things work. You both make sacrifices, compromise, and give each other trust and respect. It takes a daily conscious effort to make a long distance relationship work, so make sure you are holding up your end of this.
23. Peter McWilliams Wants You To Take a Chance
“It is a risk to love. What if it doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does.” – Peter McWilliams
There are many people who don’t even pursue a long distance relationship because they don’t want to risk themselves if things don’t work out. If you are one of these people, then consider the possibility that things could work out. If it does, then you will not have missed out on a beautiful opportunity.
24. A.A. Milne Knows It’s Bittersweet
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – A.A. Milne
You are very lucky to have someone in your life that you love so much that saying goodbye is such a hard thing. It might not feel it at the time, but when you have a loving relationship, saying goodbye should be hard. If it’s not, then maybe it’s time to take another look.
25. Frank Lloyd Wright Says Keep the Faith
“You have to go wholeheartedly into anything in order to achieve anything worth having.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
You cannot survive a long distance relationship if you aren’t committed 100%. If you sit on the fence, or go back and forth with your dedication, then you might never know how wonderful this relationship could work out to be. Give it your all and see what happens.
26. Erica Jong Knows Love Is Wonderful
“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.” – Erica Jong
Love is the greatest magic that ever lived. It really is wonderful. True love is worth working hard for, taking risks for, and not letting your fears keep you from having it. No matter the distance, you can work it out if you give everything you’ve got to the love you have.
(Read this next: 105 Encouraging Quotes for Those Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days)
6 Ways to Build Trust in a Long Distance Relationship
Do you usually measure the distance between you and your partner by the inches or the miles?
Now let’s forget about the physical distance between you for a minute, how close do you feel heart-to-heart? You can be miles away from someone and still feel incredibly emotionally close to them—secure in your relationship and how you two feel about each other.
One of the things that makes that possible is trust. Trust plays a key role in how close you both feel in the heart-to-heart sense. But what is trust, and how can you build it in a long distance relationship?
What is Trust?
According to Merriam-Webster, trust is “assured reliance of the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.”
In a relationship, trust is crucial. If you do not trust the other person, you will spend your time doubting the relationship or second-guessing your partner or yourself instead of relaxing, enjoying, connecting, and investing in your relationship.
Knowing that the other person has your back and will support you—trusting that they care for you, that they will behave decently, and that they have your best interests at heart—builds a positive climate within a relationship. In relationships where one or both parties don’t have much trust in each other, there will usually be a lot more negative emotions, conflict, suspicion, and tension in the air.
So if trust is so necessary to having a healthy relationship, how can you increase the trust you have in each other? And how do you do that over distance?
There are numerous ways you can build trust over distance, including some you’re probably already doing regularly. But thinking through and understanding what these “trust-building-techniques” are, can help motivate you to continue investing in your relationship and enjoying the positive rewards of a trusting connection however far apart you are.
1. Keep a Healthy Level of Conversation Going
Most partners in a long distance relationship expect some form of daily contact or communication if their circumstances allow for it.
This doesn’t have to mean that you spend hours on the phone very day or send 100 text messages. (In fact, sending 100 text messages can make you come across as more annoying and needy than affectionate.
) What a healthy level of conversation is will vary across couples.
But, in general, it can mean responding when your partner reaches out to you and regularly having conversations about what you’re both doing, thinking, and feeling.
It will help you find your long distance rhythm if you talk together about when (and for how long) you can generally connect. What times of day suit you best to talk? How long do you generally talking for? How do you connecting? Is there a day or time during the week you’d to have a longer “long distance date” conversation?
The more you both understand where each other is coming from in your communication preferences, the better you understand what is realistic and sustainable in your long distance communication. Knowing this will help you trust each other’s intentions more, and feel more secure and peaceful in your relationship.
2. Make each other a priority
It’s great to know each other’s schedules and preferences when it comes to communication. That can make connecting easier. It doesn’t, however, guarantee that it’s always going to be easy and convenient to talk or that you’ll both agree on what a “healthy level of communication” is. In fact, you may have to stretch and compromise to make your partner a priority.
What does this look ? It can mean reliably checking in at times you’ve both agreed are convenient or setting aside for each other specifically. It can mean responding as soon as reasonably possible when your partner reaches out to you. It can mean staying in on a weekend night so that you can have a longer, unhurried Skye date.
In general, making each other a priority in your schedule goes a long way towards building the trust and commitment you both need to sustain a long distance relationship. That trust can also help carry you through bumps in the road—when there are some scheduled or unexpected gaps between messages and calls.
When you’re in a long distance relationship, unexpected delays or interruptions to the routines you might have established can be particularly confusing or upsetting. However, if you have established trust in each other by making each other a priority and staying connected, this will help you feel less insecure and unsettled during these times.
3. Be Open and Honest With Each Other About Feelings
Couples often focus on sharing their best and happy feelings, but partners have to be prepared to support one another during less enjoyable or more stressful times, too.
If you are able to see each other often, you may learn to pick up on early warning signs when moods are shifting.
However, just being in close proximity with your significant other doesn’t mean that you’ll both be good at being transparent and honest about your thoughts and feelings.
Think about the last time you were in a terrible mood or not feeling well and someone asked you how you were. Did you smile and say “good?”
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you both have to choose to be open and honest even during the rough times.
Alerting your long distance partner to the ups and downs of your day or week not only gives you an outlet you might really need, it helps them learn what to expect if you have a day that again.
It may be awkward to try and put complicated thoughts and feelings into words over the phone or in an email, but it’s a skill worth practicing.
When you are open and honest with someone, it encourages them to be open and honest with you and helps them understand and trust you more.
4. Send Special Surprises and Celebrate Milestones
Even though you might live apart, you can do things to remind each other that you care. Most people treasure reminders that someone is thinking of them while they’re away—they can be an incredibly meaningful boost. Sending a small gift or unique card in the mail can provide just what they need to trust they feel loved and cherished that day. (Check our our recommended gifts page here.)
If your partner favors any particular holidays or holds any particular dates special for their own reasons, a message or a gift acknowledging that can help build trust by showing them you remember things that are important to them.
5. Share a Calendar or To-Do List
Can you share your daily calendar with them? Or keep a joint one?
Giving your partner access to your daily calendar and to-do lists helps build trust because you are showing you have nothing to hide. Instead of only telling them about certain aspects of your day, you are putting everything out in the open.
Your partner can easily see how many meetings you had or who your lunches were with, and this is important because keeping secrets (or simply omitting information) can cause friction in the future.
And if you know the ins and outs of their schedule you can ask them more detailed questions about certain parts of their day.
6. Help Them Know Your Other Friends and Family
When you enter into a new relationship, you start building a connection with the person and (hopefully) other people in their network of relationships.
Introducing your partner to those around you will help solidify trust in the relationship and provide additional sources of input. Relationship networks are spider webs.
When your partner gets to know your friends and family they have other “reference points” of people who love and respect you. This helps build their trust in you and anchor them more securely in your life.
What does trust mean to you, and how have you built trust in your long distance relationship?
Ryan is a contributing writer for Verdant Oak Behavioral Health. In his spare time, he enjoys traveling and spending time with his family.
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6 survival tips for couples in a long-distance relationship | Her World Singapore
Whether it’s career, family or simply travel, sometimes life gets in the way and separates us from our partner. Whatever the situation, a long distance relationship (LDR) is a tough ride to embark on.
Many people try an LDR and sadly, end the relationship during their time apart because they find it too difficult. This is sadly a common outcome for many LDRs. However, there are also many cases of couples who have stayed strong for many years living miles apart and even living in different time zones.
If you’re in a long distance relationship or you’re having to consider it for your own future, fret not. Distance does not mean your relationship is doomed to fail. In fact, it could strengthen your connection more so than you’d ever get have if you lived close to each other.
To make sure you survive, nay, thrive, in your LDR – follow these experienced tips:
Always say goodnight and good morning via texts
It sounds strange, but keeping up ‘normal’ relationship etiquette can cement your relationship during an LDR. Always ensure you text (or call, if you can) to wish each other a goodnight and good morning before you go to sleep, and when you wake up.
This is particularly vital for those who live in different timezones.
Waking up to his goodnight text, or knowing he goes to bed and wakes up to your good morning texts, will keep you both feeling you’re there for each other and help add that familiar ‘normality’ to your relationship.
Try a video call daily, if not every other day
This is tricky if you’re in different timezones. You could be eight hours ahead or behind of your loved one, meaning that you’re waking up as they are just going to bed. You both need to focus on work during the day and of course, you both want to relax after work too.
So when, or how, do you carve out quality time to video call?
Video calls play such an important factor for your LDR staying strong. You can easily negate each other’s existence and even forget each other’s importance when you don’t visually see each other for a while. So this is the next best thing.
Discuss the best time to video call to suit both timetables. Maybe it’s over meals – lunch breaks and dinner? Try to find a time where, for at least 30 minutes, you two can give each other one’s full attention.
It will secure the connection you both have and keep that familiar feeling you both have when being around each other.
Manage your own insecurities or jealousy when apart
This is a biggie, the jealousy or paranoia that comes with an LDR. Being away from your loved one is so hard on your emotions in general, but particularly spikes when it comes to issues about trust or cheating.
Even if you 110 per cent trust your partner, it will cross your mind at some point that there might be another woman catching his eye, or vice versa.
The best way to deal with this is head on but calmly. If you have emotional tendencies, try not to have outbursts with your partner and instead rationalise with yourself first. Then, you can talk to your partner and just explain your thoughts.
Chances are he’ll laugh and calm you down immediately, or talk you through it so you forget how you were even feeling before.
See also: 7 COMMUNICATION TIPS THAT WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE
Plan regular trips to see each other
This is a basic, but, it can be overlooked particularly when work or other matters sweep you along and it becomes hard to take time out. However, committing to planned trips (regular or even intermittent trips) for your future will tie you two together.
It gives you both something to work towards, short term, and you can both get excited making plans for when you are next together again. Even if it’s a long weekend or just seven days – it’ll be worth it.
Appreciate your own free time and learn to enjoy it
Given that you’re in love and your partner is not within arm’s reach, you can easily wind up feeling lonely, miserable and fixated on this absence every day, spending every waking hour checking your phone for contact with your soulmate.
This is fine, to a certain extent, but ensure you’re making yourself happy and maximising your time on your own. Whether you’re doing fitness lessons, learning a new hobby or just settling down with a good book on the sofa (or binge-watching Netflix, natch), you need to relish your solo time.
Don’t make his existence, or do we say absence, the key part of your day-to-day life. In fact, you can see this LDR as a positive! It frees up time to explore what you enjoy, what you love, what makes you happy, and that’ll give you more to talk about the next time he calls.
We don’t mean you need to send full on nudes to each other all day, every day (although if you do there’s no judgement here). Sexting can just be words – naughty words – that get each other excited.
Why is this important? In an LDR, the physical and sexual aspect of your relationship is limited, if not non-existent. Such physical attention is a really important part of a couple’s lives and it shouldn’t be brushed aside simply because it’s physically impossible to achieve.
You can keep the sparkle there by sexting each other or even naughty video calls together during the periods where you’re separated. Not only does it keep you both feeling connected to the other, it also builds up the sexual excitement so that when you next see each other again, it feels the honeymoon phase.
See also: 5 KEY WAYS TO MAINTAINING GREAT SEX IN YOUR MARRIAGE
6 Positive Things To Remember To Keep Your Long-Distance Love Flourishing
You're far apart, but closer than ever.
Love doesn't always respect geographic boundaries, or easily take a backseat to educational pursuits, familial obligations, and career opportunities. With an unprecedented number of dual-career couples in the modern world, being near the one you love is no longer always a guarantee.
Long-distance relationships (LDR) are proliferating, with an estimated 14 million couples defining their relationships as such, and a staggering 75 percent of engaged couples reporting having been in a long distance relationship at some point. Even as they become more common, in no way is a long-distance relationship easy.
Figuring out how to make a long-distance relationship work is hard… really hard. Living every day without the person you love most is living on one meal a day instead of three. You can’t help feeling the gulf, the disconnection, the absence. You know this is what it takes to keep the relationship going, and you don’t want to give up, but some days that pit in your stomach aches.
RELATED: 10 SMART Ways To Be Closer Than Ever In A Long-Distance Relationship
You wonder if, and for how long, you can keep this up — or worse, are you crazy for even trying? Surely no sane person could handle this, you tell yourself.
This is the unavoidable doubt and anxiety that accompanies all long-distance relationships. Each day you consider how to make a long-distance relationship work — and you wonder how many compromises you must make or how many other priorities must take a backseat before “too much” is just truly too much.
And then you remember how much you love this person, and an alarm clock that snoozes, but won’t turn off, you push the anxiety away for awhile, delay thinking about it. But it's always a part of the landscape of your relationship.
So, on the tough days when missing your far-away love feels more than you can take, here are some ways to reframe the struggle to help make coping a bit easier:
1. Your relationship is stronger than you think
A 2013 study found that long-distance relationships are capable of being stronger and even more intimate than those that are more proximate. Long distance forces communication skills to develop and improve if a relationship is to survive.
Not only is writing to each other a fantastic way to drill down into your true feelings and express yourself (which helps you), it is also builds needed intimacy with your partner and strengthens the relationship.
2. You're defining and redefining your core values.
Values are sometimes tricky to define, and yet, they play a fundamental role in decision-making. Being away from your partner forces you to decide every day whether it's worth it to continue, and ultimately helps you decide how to prioritize being together. These decisions are strengthening your values and personal sense of self.
RELATED: We Live 9,349 Miles Apart, But We're Killing It In The Bedroom
3. The glass is half full.
Instead of focusing on the separation, try celebrating the connection and love you feel. Research shows that gratitude strengthens relationships by promoting a cycle of generosity and other pro-social emotions. Yet another study found that gratitude boosts happiness, something that helps offset the misery of being alone.
Next time you're feeling you can't take another moment alone, redirect your attention to your blessings — that you feel love and connection with a partner who loves you. This a tremendous gift — one many never experience.
4. Novelty is boosting your bond.
Doing something novel and interesting with your partner boosts your relationship satisfaction. What could be more novel than navigating the vicissitudes of connecting across time zones, and continents?
You're in this together, and that sense of teamwork creates a bond between you that deepens your relationship. If you can handle this, you can handle anything.
5. Overextending isn't necessary.
Long-distance relationships require costly sacrifice that may tempt you to forgo your needs for the sake of the relationship.
Skype sessions at extreme hours, expensive plane tickets, maxed out vacation leave, telling yourself that you're “OK” being alone (when some days you just aren't).
You risk putting your wellbeing (and the relationship) in a dangerous place when you continuously overextend yourself.
Just we put on our own oxygen mask before helping others, apply that logic to your everyday life. Taking care of yourself is critical to maintaining healthy balance in your relationship. Any partner worth keeping will understand and support you in this.
6. It’s OK if long distance isn't for you.
Long distance isn't for everyone or every relationship. If your relationship breaks under the pressure, it's not necessarily the distance's fault, or yours. This just isn't the right relationship to fight that hard for.
No matter how painful it feels at the time, this is an important truth for both of you to know. Recognizing the wrong relationship is a crucial step in finding the right relationship.
RELATED: 25 Quotes That Capture What It Feels To Be In A Long-Distance Relationship
Dr. Alicia H. Clark is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and specializes in relationships and anxiety, parenting, and coping with stressors. She has been cited in over 100 online and print publications, including the Associated Press, Time, Forbes, Men’s Health, and more.