- 14 reasons why you should love being a single parent
- Advantages & Disadvantages for Children in a Single-Parent Family
- Benefits to Being a Single Parent
- 4 Big Benefits Of Being Raised By A Single Mother
- Single Parent Benefits: The Bright Side of Being Raised by A Single Parent!
- Independence stems from and is part of single parent benefits
- Having a single parent allows a variety of moms and dads to help out, related or not
- Understanding the value of money, a benefit of being raised by a single parent
- Raised and molded to mom’s exact specification, her single parent benefits
- 10 Benefits of Becoming a Single Parent
14 reasons why you should love being a single parent
There can be no doubt that for the most part, being a single parent is no mean feat.
You’re juggling everything life throws at you on your own and it can feel mission impossible.
Family takes dinner up a level by dressing up every night during lockdown
However, despite all the difficulties, it can also be an awesome experience.
It’s something to be treasured and embraced and it will make you realise that you’re stronger than you thought.
So, if you’re feeling down about going it alone, or are considering it as a potential life choice, here are 14 reasons to love being a single parent.
1. You’re a little team
A single parent family is still a family and can be an awesome one too.
2. It’s not as hard as people tell you
Sure, single parenting isn’t without its challenges, but raising children alone has a funny way of making you realise that everything will be OK in the end and that you’re stronger than you thought.
3. You’ll learn how to multitask
That includes holding down a full time job, raising two kids, cleaning a house and even trying to fit in the occasional night out.
There is a reason they invented wine.
4. You’ll have an amazing bond
Without another adult around, the bond with your kids will be a strong one.
5. You’ll spend loads of time together
While the occasional break is a welcome one, spending as much time with your kids while you can will forever be a gift.
6. You’re not alone
While divorce and separation isn’t something that should necessarily be celebrated, the upside of a rise in people splitting up is that the stigma associated with single parenting is no longer such a harsh one.
It also means you’ll be in good company when it comes to your situation (and we all need someone to off load onto sometimes).
7. You’ll met loads of people
Hotel poolside bars take on a whole new meaning when you’re holidaying alone.
There are even companies such as Single with Kids that are dedicated to making sure solo parents are guaranteed fun.
8. You’ll see your friends more often
Being a single parent means you no longer need to spend your Sundays making sure there’s a full roast on the table.
Hello pub garden with friends!
I mean, playgrounds… hello playgrounds with friends.
9. It’s your way or the highway
When it comes to the schooling, attitude and outlook of your kids, even the most solid of couples will have differing opinions.
Single parenting means you’ll avoid a significant chunk of your child rearing years arguing about differences of opinions.
10. You won’t have to play bad cop
Because you’ll be both, which means sometimes you get to be nice cop too.
11. You can sleep in the same bed
Co-sharing is bad for kids?
Get it, who doesn’t love a snuggle in the morning.
12. You’ll have the weekends off
Joint custody? Happy days!
13. You can still go out and have fun
You’re still hot and single with the benefit of gorgeous kids too.
14. Your child has as much chance of conquering the world as anyone else
Barack Obama, Barbara Streisand, Michael Phelps and Angelina Jolie are among some of the world’s high achievers raised in single parent families.
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Advantages & Disadvantages for Children in a Single-Parent Family
Nowadays, it is just as common for children to be in a single-parent family than a traditional two-parent family. Due to divorce rate, delays in marriage, and those shunning the institution of marriage altogether, single-parent families are becoming increasingly popular. There are many advantages and disadvantages for children of single parents.
Listed below are the most common disadvantages to being a child from a single-parent family:
- Decrease in income. Amidst the other disadvantages, a decrease in income can affect how much time and money parents have to spend with their children.
- Schedule changes. Children may need to adjust to changes in time management. Parents will be busy filling the roles of two parents, and everyone’s schedules will be affected.
- Less quality time. Single parents may find it difficult to spend quality time alone with each child.
- Scholastic struggles. Perhaps children’s decreased motivation is to blame for high rates of absenteeism, low test scores, and high dropout rates.
- Negative feelings. Some children feel so upset about the situation that they will blame the parents for problems in their relationships.
- Sense of loss. Children may feel they have lost a protector or a guide. This sense of loss could lead to high rates of anxiety and aggression and children using their upset feelings to manipulate the parents.
- Relationship difficulties. Children of single parents usually have unresolved feelings of anger. These children usually find it difficult to form successful relationships.
- Problems accepting new relationships. Children may find it difficult to bond with potential partners of the single parent.
Although they may find it hard to look at the bright side, there are advantages to being a single parent:
- Fewer arguments. Parents regularly separate so they won’t fight in front of the children. Having fewer arguments will make the environment less stressful and make them feel more secure.
- Good role modeling. For children whose parents were in an unhealthy relationship it may be easier to understand that life can be managed without a partner and there is no reason to be in a relationship for fear of doing it alone (or differently).
- Teaches independence and responsibility. Because single parents are already so busy, children should be encouraged to be the member of a team and do some things by themselves. Feeling part of a team helps children consider others, establish a good work ethic, and improve self-esteem and self-worth.
- Easier to understand expectations. Expectations are clearer when there is no one to contradict. (Discipline can still be a problem for parents who share custody, so they should discuss their expectations frequently.)
- Sense of community. Single parents often need to rely on others to help in caring for the children; introducing children to unknown organizations, friends, and family members can help teach them that they can find support outside of immediate family.
- Close feeling. Children can learn a shared responsibility for the life of the family. In fact, children from single-parent families are usually closer to the family than those from a traditional family environment.
Parents and children undergo some difficult changes when they go from being a traditional family to a single-parent family. However, the disadvantages can be managed and countered with the advantages. Single-parent families can be just as successful as dual-parent families; it may just require a little more work.
Benefits to Being a Single Parent
As a divorced mother of three children, I am often accorded a status just shy of sainthood. “How do you do it?” friends ask, with that mixture of pity and awe that single moms seems to elicit. I sigh deeply and murmur bravely, “You do what you have to do.
” There's no question that single mothers face significant difficulties, not the least of which is financial hardship. And there's no question that kids miss the parent who's not with them. If you've got children, being married is undoubtedly better — but not at all costs.
Being a single mom is infinitely preferable to living in a bad marriage, and it even has some things worth celebrating. Here are a few of them.
No more fighting about who does what. Theoretically, the workload required to raise kids alone should be twice as heavy as when two parents are present. But in fact, the energy it takes to argue over who does what can be far more draining than the task itself.
Consider all the time and effort that goes into figuring out a system of sharing chores, nagging your spouse to fulfill his part of the bargain, resenting him for not doing it, and then figuring out a new system that probably won't work either.
I promise you, doing it alone is far easier.
There's no one to undermine my authority. When I say the word, it's the word. When I call out, “Bedtime,” there's no one to say, “Aw, let them stay up another half hour.
” It's a big responsibility to make all the choices yourself, but decision making is a big responsibility whether you're married or single.
When you're single, you understand how enormous your charge is and you take it more seriously because you know there isn't anyone else around to defer to.
The closet is all mine. As a single parent, you are free to indulge all those little idiosyncrasies that you try to rein in when you live with someone else.
If you're a neatnik, you can give in to your compulsions and hang things in military order by color, size, or type of garment; if you're not, you can wallow in disarray.
You can sleep late or retire early, eat crackers in bed, watch old movies, leave all the windows open, let the dog sleep next to you. After years of tenuously maintained compromise, you get to do what you want when you want.
I get every other weekend to myself. I almost hate to bring this up — because if everyone really understood the magnitude of this benefit, even happily married women might be tempted to race to the lawyer's office.
Until I started sharing custody of the kids, I never knew the bliss of an uninterrupted afternoon — never mind a whole weekend — alone in my apartment. Just imagine: every other weekend on your own, in your own house. If you clean, it stays clean. Nothing moves that hasn't been moved by you. You don't have to cook.
You don't even have to get bed if you don't want to — except, of course, to replenish that supply of Snickers.
The kids are all right. Contrary to the predictions of some know-it-alls, my children have made it thus far without stealing hubcaps, selling crack cocaine, or joining a cult — and there is every indication that they will reach adulthood without any such problems.
In fact, I'm guessing that the kids are better off than if they had spent these years listening to Mom and Dad exchanging angry words or, worse, engulfed by icy silence or crackling resentment.
I won't kid you — or myself — by saying divorce is easy on them, but perhaps the experience has taught them some valuable life lessons. I've noticed that my kids are more competent, more observant, and kinder than many of their friends who live in two-parent households.
One reason for this, I believe, is that they have more responsibility — for themselves, for each other, for the household. They help out with chores and errands. They look out for each other. They understand when I'm tired.
They realize that if they want more than the meager allowance I supply them, they need to arrange baby-sitting or dog-walking jobs to earn extra money. Sure, they have their share of problems, but the point is, they don't have more than their share. By the way, all my kids are honor students.
I can break the rules. I am already different by virtue of being a single mom, so what do I risk by not conforming to relatively unimportant traditions? For example, I can look you straight in the eye and say, “Yes, after dinner, I bathe them and dress them in their sweats for the next day and put them to bed.
When they get up, all I have to do is put shoes and socks on them. You got a problem with that?” Is my living room untidy? I'm a single mom; I have better things to do. Ask me what I cooked for dinner last night and I'm ly to say cereal. Am I late for church? Well, you know — I have to get three kids ready, all on my own.
I their father again. This one took some work, but now that we're not engaged in hand-to-hand combat, I can remember all the things that made me fall in love with him in the first place.
He's smart, he's funny, and he doesn't have a mean bone in his body — thoughtless, yes, and sometimes maddening, but never mean.
And I think I couldn't do better than to convey to our children that their dad is a terrific person.
Copyright © 2004. Reprinted with permission from the May 2002 issue of Parents magazine.
4 Big Benefits Of Being Raised By A Single Mother
Being a single parent is difficult after a divorce. Personally, I was raised by a single mother, and I have now begun to realize the benefits and skills I had gained as a child because of her. Here are four benefits of being raised by a single mother (although there are many more):
I did a session one night on how women can empower themselves in relationships. In one part of the discussion, we got to the topic of chivalry and the source of peoples’ habits and traits.
One of the attendees made an observation that men of single mothers tend to grow up being a lot more chivalrous and understanding of women in general. The attendee was accurate, and the reasoning is pretty basic.
Men raised by single mothers very often have the benefit of perspective and experiences that they would not otherwise be exposed to.
What does a child observe when their mother is spoken to by men that are interested in her affections? What will that child learn in terms of what to do and what not to do? While living with my single mother, I witnessed sexist, cowardly, and dismissive acts by other men that I did not appreciate.
It sickened me in fact, ly because of how it made my mother feel and, I’d to think, because I would not want to be treated in that manner. Regardless of what the perspective was attributed to, it was perspective nonetheless.
I also witnessed honorable men Ben Inloes whom my mom married and I now see as my real father.
We have already acknowledged that a child raised by a single mother is going to have the benefit of perspective. Perspective, as we know, only truly comes from experiences.
But what does one do with those experiences? We watch single mothers grow from them and protect their children from the backlash of them. All the while, children are becoming stronger for any number of reasons.
One, the experiences aren’t new, and thus, dealing with them becomes more common.
Two, their mother is a role model for how to deal with these experiences, and children want to emulate the strength exuded by their mother.
Lastly, children will find themselves staying stronger so that their mother can stay strong. This does mean that there are times, albeit rare, that mom is not superwoman in the moment, but by this point, her children are mindful of her hurt and doing everything they can to keep her going. Parents and children are the foundations by which each may grow.
As countless studies have shown, single mothers often spend more time with their children than they did when the father was in the house. For the child(ren), this means that there is more affection, attention, and personal development. The benefits of this do not require an explanation.
A single mother with the most energy in the world is still going to need help. She will know it. Children will know it. And so it goes, children will start doing chores around the house, help run errands, and watch out for their siblings.
This is not just a request from mom, but instead, a recognition that there is a lot to do and only one adult in the house to do it all. What’s more, studies show that children raised by single mothers have a much higher appreciation for money and sacrifice.
It is the acceptance and appreciation of the responsibility that the mother has assumed that her children undertake. I’ve seen the pride a young teenager has in their eyes when they can help their mother and she is appreciative.
This is not to say that children raised by both parents or a single father cannot have a positive role model to look up to and emulate.
That said, the degree of attention paid to a single mother’s experiences and pain will outweigh that of a single father or both parents living in the same house.
Children are going to be more in tune, observant, and protective of a single mother, and thus, their senses sharpen and feelings become more impassioned.
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photo credit: Bike Time with Mom via photopin (license)
Single Parent Benefits: The Bright Side of Being Raised by A Single Parent!
As a child who grew up with a single parent I had to sometimes deal with the frustration of an absent dad but most times experienced the single parent benefits.
It was tiring to explain why mom always attended all the award ceremonies and sport gatherings however I learnt a lot about life and problem solving, thanks to my upbringing. Today I realize that there are many advantages of being raised by a single parent benefits.
My mom worked at the local railway offices as an admin clerk, she still managed to purchase a cozy little home for us and provided us with everything we needed. When asked today if I ever felt a void in my life for having a single parent benefits, I would have to say no.
Here are just a few benefits of single parent worth mentioning.
Independence stems from and is part of single parent benefits
I had to learn from a very young age to help my mom around the house, to do errands and sometimes stand in when a helping hand was required. At the age of 21 I was self sufficient and stayed in my own little studio apartment.
I was forced to learn at an early age in life to make my own lunch and tidy up after myself because mom had to work long hours and wasn’t always available or at my beck and call is one of the single parent benefits.
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My best friend moved into her own apartment at 22 and didn’t even go near her kitchen for the first month; she didn’t even know how to boil an egg. She mentioned that having a single parent was a blessing and I realized how lucky I was for the knowledge and experience I had gained from my wonderful mother.
Having a single parent allows a variety of moms and dads to help out, related or not
Growing up in a single parent home I was able to bond with other adults and various friends, uncles, aunts and other family members were always there to help out with for example, a difficult project or anything that required a particular skill mom didn’t have.
Needless to say all those extra birthday gifts was one of the greatest single parent benefits. I clearly remember that our next door neighbor was a second mother to me and I could always knock on her door if any help was required and mom couldn’t assist at that moment.
Understanding the value of money, a benefit of being raised by a single parent
We were a middle class family, in other words I cannot really say that I ever wanted for anything. I wasn’t spoiled but had everything I needed.
My mom, the single parent and an example to me and my sister allowed us to have holiday jobs when we reached the age of sixteen which in turn enabled us to save money for the luxury items we wanted a double deck cassette recorder and so on was also single parent benefits
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I believe that one of the biggest benefits of being raised by a single parent is learning to not live wasteful and to work hard for everything that you acquire which makes you appreciate every item so much more. I still follow the envelope system that my mom used to use.
All expenses have allocated envelopes and the money does not get used for anything else.
Raised and molded to mom’s exact specification, her single parent benefits
Mom always said as a single parent she was able to raise us with the same moral standards that she portrayed. Be it traditional, conventional or more new age as a single parent you would have the advantage in implementing your standards in your child, something that sometimes proves to be quite challenging when two parents are involved.
I am hard working and loyal and I believe these qualities are some of the wonderful advantages of being raised by a single parent. These are only a few perks and make it obvious that single parents shouldn’t be frowned upon but rather respected.
10 Benefits of Becoming a Single Parent
Becoming a single parent after separating from your partner usually seems a negative. Indeed, there is no doubt that it can be a very difficult period in life.
However, there are two sides to everything, and it's always better to adhere to the 'glass half full' motto than view life as an uphill struggle.
With that in mind, let us celebrate the many positives of becoming a single parent:
You can be as laid back as you choose. Basically, you get to prioritize everything on your own terms, and that means total freedom from having to please anyone else.
It doesn't matter if you leave the dishes until the morning because you were preoccupied with something else, or if the living room looks someone turned it upside down and shook it around – children don't care too much about mess (they'll be in bed) and there is no one else to moan.
You can live exactly the way you choose, and if that means arriving home late because something else was more fun and vegging out for the evening, so be it. There's always tomorrow. Your own well-being comes first. And sometimes our well-being is improved by doing exactly what we want to do when the moment strikes.
Autonomy is a wonderful thing!
When you are on your own, you can be really spontaneous.
And being spontaneous is fun! You can get up without even an inkling of a plan and only the vast open space of 12 hours to fill, and, as soon as breakfast is over, have the car packed and be on your way to who-knows-where.
No one will complain – well, the kids might, especially if they don't being hurried or are addicted to Xbox – but kids are easily persuaded and they'll be on board in no time. Especially when they think they might actually enjoy themselves.
Disorganization and a total lack of planning are traits often frowned upon by partners and spouses. But you're on your own now and no one will nag you.
You can get back home whenever you and you can even stop en-route for food and eat it by the seaside as the sun sets (if you live near the beach, but you get the drift) knowing there won't be anyone wondering why there's no dinner planned when you finally get home. Freedom is bliss.
In the evenings, when the kids are in bed, you can relax and not have to consider anyone else. Your time is your own – and that's a brilliant gift! You can watch really bad TV shows in undisturbed bliss without being berated.
You can selfishly spend all night on the computer without so much as making someone else a cup of tea/coffee. You can go to bed whatever time you without disturbing anybody…and then read with the light on when you get there.
You can lie diagonally across the bed because your side got too hot. The list goes on.
When you're single, the whole bed is yours – and that's bliss! | Source
You, and only you, get to choose your travel destination – every single time! Yes, that's right – you can go to that place he always refused to visit because he didn't the language, the weather, the food, or the time it takes to get there. You can go back to that place you've always wanted to visit again but never could because he didn't visiting the same place twice. You're in the driving seat. The world is your oyster. Do it!
You get to choose the travel destination – though you might want to check with the kids first.. | Source
You can invite your girlfriends round and talk freely without anyone listening. Girl talk is the best, but having to censor it because your other half is in the next room is definitely not. You can laugh until you ache, spill all your secrets and listen to everyone else's, and even too much Prosecco won't catch you out.
Your view for the future needs no compromising. You are in charge of your own life. If you want to move to a rural farm in France and live off the land when the kids move out, you can. Why not? Life's too short to give up on those dreams that beat inside your own heart.
There's no one to talk you it, no one else's wishes to consider, and no one to tell you it's an impractical, impossible dream and you can't speak French.
Life is for living, your way! (And if you meet someone else between now and then, make sure they're on board from the beginning…)
When the kids grow up (or even before) you could move to a farm in rural France and there's no one to stop you | Source
Even though you might have taken a financial hit when you become a single parent, some things are cheaper.
Days out, for example – other grown-ups have to pay adult fares and admission fees, they don't eat off the kid's menu, bigger families need bigger hotel rooms, transport costs add up, and so on…
Yes, your bank account might take a bit of a dive now you're on your own, but so should your leisure costs.
Admit it – there were habits that really got on your nerves. , really, really ticked you off.
Trying to list them here would be presumptuous – everyone has their own little gripes, from snoring to leaving stuff everywhere, to not loading the dishwasher, to loading it all wrong, to not feeding cat or starting to prepare dinner when you're held up in a really hot traffic queue – the list is endless. And you don't have to put up with it anymore. Now, you are practically living in a sanctuary of tranquility – and if you're not, you can only blame yourself.
There is no one to nag you about your driving (which, just to clarify, is perfectly adequate).
You can be hesitant when you need to be, take the route you want to take, get lost without a full-scale argument erupting and even enjoy the scenic route that takes half-an-hour longer but allows you to drive stress-free through glorious landscapes of green hills and fields, and let the kids litter the car with crumbs with no one to frown upon it. What's more, you can become completely absorbed in the music of your choice as you hit the road, with no one telling you how awful it is. Driving – a necessary event that used to ignite full-scale marriage breakdown – is now a positive delight (well, maybe that's a bit strong, particularly when the kids are tearing each other's hair out on the backseat, but you get the picture).
There is no one to resent for not pulling their weight. You won't have to squeeze by, vacuum in hand and teeth gritted, whilst waiting for the cooker to bleep and ignoring the mewing, hungry cat while he sits in THAT chair because 'work was really hard today'.
Yes, there is only you now, so that effectively means you will have to do everything anyway (unless you can persuade the kids that working for a salary that is a quarter of the minimum wage is acceptable).
But that is not nearly as bad as biting your tongue as that familiar rage simmers away inside you and spoils any chance of spiritual harmony. Negative emotions aren't healthy.
As you can see, there are many positives for becoming a single parent. So get it together and don your best smile. Onwards and upwards! On your own, you can be the uncompromised version of 'you' – the real you!