Why Narcissists Are So Frustrating

Just Say No To Narcissists

Why Narcissists Are So Frustrating
Photo by Matthijs via Flickr

“Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.” (Source: Mayo Clinic)

Sound familiar?

I have a super hero(ine) quality of attracting and being attracted to some pretty fabulous (NOT) narcissists. To be accurate, I should say that I HAD such a “gift”. I’m over it now. It took 56 years but, goddamnit, I can spot one a mile away and, more to the point, I have a method for getting them outta my head, outta my heart and outta my life.

First, here’s how to spot a narcissist:

Ask yourself five important questions vis a vis the person in question.

  1. What percentage of the conversation with this person is spent talking about him or her and his experiences, thoughts and achievements? Fears or diseases? If the answer is greater than 75% you’re in narcissist territory. (Do not be surprised if your calculation brings you to 95% or higher. Yup. Really.)
  2. Does the person react and get curious, ask questions, etc., when you share something important? , oh, maybe that you just got a book deal from a major publishing house? Most people would react with a shriek or, at a minimum, with a wide grin and an incredulous, “Really?! Fuckin’ A, man!” But with the narcissist this news will elicit little more than a nod or, even more ly, the “Yeah, I’m writing a book, too, and mine’s going to be amazing.” And that is it. Minimal engagement with things that matter to you. (Note similar failure to “notice” with news of your cancer diagnosis, your Rotary Club Volunteer of the Year Award or your acceptance into Harvard Law School. For example…)
  3. Does the person appear to be the victim of egregiously unfair actions and incidents perpetrated against him, usually as a result of what he describes as other peoples’ jealousies? “I got totally screwed over by that motherfucker” or “She hates me because I’m not interested in her sexually, so she made sure I didn’t get the promotion!” These are familiar refrains. Victimization is a specialty of the narcissist. Everyone else is at fault. Obviously.
  4. On the rare occasion that you are the one doing the talking, does the person interrupt (often mid-sentence) with an unrelated point? For example, maybe something this…

You: “This is the part of the story that is most important to me personally because — -”
Narcissist: “Does this place do gluten-free rolls? I’m off wheat.”

(And, trust us, they do not proactively ask you to return to the point you were about to make. So you’re left sitting or standing there, unsure, feeling you’re either the most boring person in the world or maybe just that this story kinda sucked. And then you probably let the narcissist take the conversation where he (or she) wanted it all along: back to him!)

5. And, finally, how does the person react to suggestions or feedback? Or to difficult conversations? Does he or she immediately feel attacked? Cricitized? And then what? Do they say, Hey, let’s talk this out because I’m feeling defensive (unly) or do they walk out, hang up the phone or attack you with something , You’ve really hurt my feelings with your vicious lies!

Okay. So at this point we all see the pattern. The self-absorption, the disinterest in anyone’s life but his or her own and the deep sense of not only hurt but also violation in response to any feedback other than “You are wonderful! You do such great work! You’re gorgeous and sexy and amazing! You da bomb!”

Maybe it sounds a bit overstated. But this is the reality. And we deny and deny and deny because the narcissist has the ability to turn on the charm and make us feel so good. Being with a narcissist is the closest I will ever come to knowing what it feels to do crack. The high is so addicting!

In the “old days” — that is, before I worked through all of this by learning to love and myself — I would have appeased, cajoled and enabled my way through. And that would have achieved some peace and harmony, but at a massive fucking cost. Namely, loss of self-respect, loss of self-love, loss of self.

Now I approach the narcissists who cross my path in a totally different way. I RUN.

RUN.

TOTO.

RUN.

Really. That is my method. It’s the only one that works.

I see a narcissist heading my way, I can’t get away fast enough. I’m the Usain Bolt of wherever the hell I am at that moment. Whoosh!

Because there is nothing good that can come of a relationship with a narcissist. I will only lose myself along the way and wonder what I did wrong and become more and more desperate to get a crumb of affection or approval from Mr. N is for Narcissist.

Here’s the other reality. Narcissists are generally charming. And, oh my, can they turn on the charisma when they want to. That juice is on tap! They can make you feel you’re the center of the universe and they’d never dream of wanting to be anyplace except with you, staring into your eyes, telling you their secrets and “sharing” in the way that lovers and very close friends do.

But narcissists cannot love. Love is a two-way street. It takes both parties to create and to foster love. Narcissists excel at infatuation. That’s their thing.

Infatuation is intense, it’s fantasy and it does not require the real person to show up. The object of desire is merely a narcissistic extension of the narcissist himself.

The trophy wife, the gorgeous hunk, the hot young girlfriend, the boy toy, whatever.

And that is most definitely NOT love.

Some people try showing a better way, hoping to lead by example and encourage the narcissist to become a more caring, compassionate friend or lover.

Forget it. “Modeling better behavior” requires the person to actually take notice of (and care about) how others behave. Narcissists are not interested in other people! Period.

And, here’s the final thing I’ll say about narcissists. They do not support or champion or cheerlead. If you are waiting for that self-absorbed colleague or partner to thank or praise you for something you did — even something that helped them — you may well be waiting a long, long time.

It ain’t about you.

So stop trying to please. To get him to notice you. Repeat: It ain’t about you. Not with a narcissist. It will never be about you. Never ever ever. Not even when you get a book deal or you win a Nobel or you scale Mt. Everest. It is never about you.

Stop trying to earn that crumb of attention or to live long enough to experience this person saying to you, “How is going for you? Gee, you seem to be working very hard.” Forget it.

Instead, let’s say no to narcissists. And seek our support from those who are willing (and able) to give it, instead.

THAT is the choice. It’s a healthy one.

what you just read? Please hit ‘recommend’ (the little heart) below. Thank you!

“,”author”:”Amy Selwyn”,”date_published”:”2017-11-21T18:43:22.018Z”,”lead_image_url”:”https://miro.medium.com/max/1024/1*MzNq0YUWD7dh4z-MbmjAAA.jpeg”,”dek”:null,”next_page_url”:null,”url”:”https://byrslf.co/just-say-no-to-narcissists-1c69eaf77d6d”,”domain”:”byrslf.co”,”excerpt”:”“Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for…”,”word_count”:1206,”direction”:”ltr”,”total_pages”:1,”rendered_pages”:1}

Source: https://byrslf.co/just-say-no-to-narcissists-1c69eaf77d6d

Narcissistic Rage: Understanding and Working Through It

Why Narcissists Are So Frustrating
Share on Pinterest

Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence. Both happen when a person with narcissistic personality disorder feels their self-esteem or self-worth is threatened or injured by another person or an event.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which an individual has an exaggerated or overly inflated sense of their own importance.

They may act and feel grandiose and superior to others. For example, they may demand special treatment and honor even if they’ve done nothing to earn it.

In reality, people with NPD may feel insecure and unable to handle anything they perceive as criticism. When the “true self” is revealed, a person with NPD may feel threatened. Their self-esteem is crushed.

As a result, they may react with a variety of emotions and actions. Rage is only one of them, but it’s often one of the most visible.

Just anyone, people with NPD desire attention and admiration from the people in their life. But when they aren’t given that, or they feel they’ve been slighted in some way, they may react with narcissistic rage.

This rage may not only come in the form of screaming and yelling. Selective silence and passive-aggressive avoidance can also be a form of narcissistic rage.

In fact, most episodes of narcissistic rage exist on a behavior continuum. On one end, a person may be aloof and withdrawn. The goal is to hurt another person by being absent.

On the other end are outbursts and explosive actions. Here again, the goal is to turn the “hurt” they feel into an attack on another person as a form of defense.

It’s important to remember not all angry outbursts are episodes of narcissistic rage. People can and do have angry outbursts, even if they don’t have a personality disorder NPD.

There are three primary reasons narcissistic rage happens:

  1. Injury to self-esteem or self-worth. Despite an oversized opinion of themselves, people with NPD are often hiding self-esteem that’s easily injured. When they’re “hurt,” narcissists tend to lash out as their first line of defense. They feel that cutting someone out or intentionally hurting them with words or violence can help them protect their persona.
  2. A challenge to their confidence. People with NPD build up confidence in themselves by continually getting away with lies or false personas. When someone pushes them and exposes a weakness, people with NPD may feel inadequate. That unwelcomed emotion can cause them to lash out as protection.
  3. Sense of self is questioned. If people reveal that someone with NPD isn’t as capable or talented as they pretend, this challenge to their sense of self may result in a cutting and aggressive outburst.

Narcissistic rage is a component of NPD. Other conditions might also cause episodes similar to narcissistic rage. These include:

  • paranoid delusion
  • bipolar disorder
  • depressive episodes

Repeated unreasonable reactions do occur in other conditions. If you or a loved one is frequently having these rage episodes, it’s important to get a proper diagnosis and find the best treatment.

NPD causes problems in a person’s life, relationships, work, and financial situation. People with this disorder live with illusions of superiority, grandiosity, and entitlement. They may also face additional issues addictive behavior and, of course, narcissistic rage.

But narcissistic rage and other NPD-related issues aren’t as simple as anger or stress. These can and should get diagnosed by a healthcare provider or mental health specialist. That way, a person with NPD and rage can find the proper help they need.

A therapist or psychiatrist can diagnose NPD. There are no definitive tests. Instead, the healthcare provider will review the person’s health history as well behaviors and feedback from people around them.

how NPD is diagnosed

A mental health professional can determine if an individual has NPD :

  • reported and observed symptoms
  • physical exam to help rule out an underlying physical issue that could be causing symptoms
  • psychological evaluation
  • comparison to criteria in the new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association

People who have NPD and episodes of narcissistic rage can get help. But while they’re working through their behaviors and history, you might need to find your own help.

You can learn techniques to handle narcissistic rage when it occurs. You can also prepare for future episodes so you won’t find yourself hurt or affected as deeply as you once were.

At work

Limit engagement with the individual. Always trust but verify. Individuals with NPD may talk up their accomplishments and abilities, but once you realize they can’t or don’t perform, prepare yourself for future problems.

Also, don’t avoid giving direct feedback and criticism. While this may spur an intense reaction in the moment, it’s one way you may be able to push the individual to seek help.

In relationship partners

It’s possible to have a healthy, productive life with a person who has NPD and episodes of rage. But you may need to seek out therapy, just as they are.

People with narcissistic rage can be hurtful. Learning how to communicate with them may help you protect yourself.

In friends

If this is a friend you don’t particularly spending time with, limit your exposure.

If this is a close friend, you might also seek help from a therapist. These healthcare providers can help you learn behaviors that make coping easier. This way, your time together can be less frustrating and more productive.

From a stranger

The best option is to walk away. Neither you nor that person will be able to affect the future in the moment.

Realize, however, that your actions didn’t cause the reaction. It’s driven by underlying factors that you don’t in any way influence.

A therapist can help treat both NPD and rage. These healthcare providers will use talk therapy, or psychotherapy, to help people with NPD understand their behaviors, choices, and effects.

Therapists can then work with the individual to address underlying factors. Talk therapy is also an opportunity for a therapist and client to create new plans for behavior. This is a way to help the person with NPD develop healthier coping skills.

Help if you feel threatened

  • People with NPD and narcissistic rage can hurt people in their lives. Many times they don’t realize it. You, however, don’t have to live with the constant worry about future rage. You can take steps to protect yourself.
  • If you’re afraid a person with NPD in your life may cross over from verbal abuse to physical abuse, and you think you could be in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency services.
  • If the threat isn’t immediate, seek help from the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 800-799-7233. They can connect you with service providers, therapists, and shelters in your area if you need assistance.

Individuals with NPD and narcissistic rage can find help. With a proper diagnosis and ongoing treatment, it’s possible to live a healthy, rewarding life.

In the moment, the rage may seem all-consuming and threatening. But encouraging a loved one (or yourself) to seek help will hopefully spur healthier choices for them, you, and everyone in their lives.

Source: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/narcissistic-rage

What Really Makes Narcissists Angry (and Why)

Why Narcissists Are So Frustrating

Source: Mooshny/Shutterstock

Narcissists are people who feed off the energy of others. They draw from people around them to boost their self-esteem. As a result, they are extraordinarily self-centered. If you have a narcissist for a boss, it can be very difficult. Narcissists are reluctant to share credit with others. 

One question about narcissists is whether they are also prone to aggressive and violent reactions toward others when their self-esteem is threatened. This issue was explored in a paper by Zlatan Krizan and Omesh Johar in the May 2015 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

The researchers point out that there are actually two subtypes of narcissism:

  • One is grandiose narcissism, which is characterized by people having a high opinion of themselves. Grandiose narcissists believe that other people are interested in them, and that they should be listened to by others. One of the most popular personality tests used to identify narcissists, the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, measures grandiose narcissism. 
  • The second subtype is vulnerable narcissism, in which people are self-centered, but also defensive and resentful of others. 

This new set of studies suggests that vulnerable narcissism leads to aggressive and violent reactions to other people, while grandiose narcissism does not. 

In one study, participants were given several personality inventories, including one designed to test for grandiose narcissism and one designed to test for vulnerable narcissism. Participants filled out scales that measured their level of physical and verbal aggression, as well as anger and hostility toward others.

 The researchers also measured individuals' tendency to experience shame. Vulnerable narcissists were much more prone than grandiose narcissists to experience shame; to find their self-esteem influenced by the beliefs of others; and to experience anger and rage toward others.

 Grandiose narcissists were more prone than vulnerable narcissists to feel entitled, and to try to exploit others.

A second study looked at aggression in the laboratory. Participants were measured on scales of grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. Participants had been told that the study was focused on food preferences.

 They were told that they had been paired with a partner sitting in another room.

 First, that unseen partner was going to select a food for them to taste, and then they were going to select a food for the partner to taste. 

The first phase of the study was designed to provoke a reaction in the participants. They were told that their partner selected a bitter drink for them to try.

 They were told that the partner could give them a mildly bitter drink or a harshly bitter drink, and could select how much of it the person had to try. One group of participants was given three ounces of the harshly bitter drink.

 This was expected to make the participant feel their partner did not them. A second group of participants was given three ounces of the mildly bitter drink. This condition was a control. All participants were asked to drink what they were given, and all did so.

 The participants given the more bitter drink felt it was vile. Participants rated how annoyed they were at the other person as well as their anger toward that person and their trust of that person.

In the second phase of the study, participants selected a spicy sauce for a second person to drink. They could select amounts from two bottles, one of which was a very hot pepper sauce, while the other was mild.

 Participants got a small taste of the sauces so that they would know how unpleasant the hotter sauce was.

 The idea was that the more aggressive the participant felt toward their partner, the more hot sauce they would want that participant to drink.

Participants who had  been given the bitter drink were more annoyed at their partner than those given the mild drink. As a result, people who were given the bitter drink were more ly to give hot sauce to the other person than those who were given the mild drink.

 The people high in vulnerable narcissism who received the bitter drink were most ly to give hot sauce to the other person. The vulnerable narcissists given the bitter drink were also most angry at, and least trusting of, the other person.

 Grandiose narcissism, however, did not predict aggression toward the other person or ratings of anger or trust.

These studies suggest that there are two distinct subtypes of narcissists:

  • Those whose narcissism reflects a feeling of self-importance tend to exploit other people, but they are not inclined to act aggressively or violently toward others. 
  • Those whose narcissism reflects feelings of defensiveness and resentment feel shame when their self-esteem is threatened, and tend to react to those threats with anger and aggression.

Follow me on and on and on .

Check out my new book, Smart Change, and my books, Smart Thinking and Habits of Leadership

Listen to my radio show on KUT radio in Austin, Two Guys on Your Head, and follow 2GoYH on and on .

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ulterior-motives/201505/what-really-makes-narcissists-angry-and-why

The Frustrating Double Standards of Narcissists

Why Narcissists Are So Frustrating

Source: Andrey Popov/Shutterstock

Personality disorders such as narcissism are characterized by a distortion of healthy norms for feeling, thinking and relating. One of the most notable distortions among narcissists is a pervasive set of double standards and paradoxes.

For example, people with narcissism demand attention but are poor listeners. They seem supremely confident yet are terribly insecure. They expect special treatment yet rarely reciprocate — unless they get something in return.

Such double standards can confuse, frustrate and demean. To cope with narcissistic people, it helps to recognize eight key paradoxes. Narcissists are:

1. Grandiose, but Brittle

Narcissists often present a larger-than-life persona. They posture as more capable, accomplished and intelligent than others. They feel entitled to special treatment commensurate with their “status.”

Yet narcissists can be hyper-sensitive, exploding at the smallest perceived slight. When they don’t get their way or are not the center of attention, they may lash out or regress to a sulking, child state.

2. Antagonistic, Yet Indignant at Questions or Opposition

Many narcissists seem to take pleasure in saying no to others’ requests or needs. They often need an enemy or foil, often pursuing legal action, revenge or vendettas.

Yet should anyone question or oppose them, narcissists are quick to go nuclear. They distract, play the martyr, or personally attack anyone who challenges them.

3. Desperate to Be Heard, Yet Uninterested in Listening

Because narcissists cannot supply the self-esteem they need from within, they hungrily seek it from outside in the form of attention. The joke, “Enough about me. What do you think of me?” aptly describes narcissists.

Because they are so desperate for attention, narcissists may listen impatiently to others, counting the seconds until they can bring the conversation back to them. They may even compete with loved ones for the spotlight, as if any attention paid to someone else is their personal loss.

4. Emotionally Entitled, Yet Indifferent to Others’ Feelings

Narcissists expect others to hold a narcissist's feelings as sacred and supreme. When a narcissist has needs, they expect others to accommodate.

Yet when others express emotions, those feelings are often ignored or ridiculed. Should someone ask something of them, narcissists often become irritable or label the other “selfish” or “demanding.” Narcissists seem clueless about the impact of their self-centeredness on others, acting surprised or indignant when the consequences of their behavior are pointed out.

Source: desdemona72/Shutterstock

5. Swift to Blame, Yet Loath to Own Their Part

People with narcissistic behavior pass the blame with lightning- reflexes. If they fail, it is always someone else’s fault. (Though when they succeed, it is entirely their doing.)

Yet narcissists seem loath to acknowledge their part, rarely saying “I was wrong” or “I am sorry.”

6. Image-conscious, Yet Woefully Self-Unaware

People with narcissism seek status through external means such as power, wealth, sexual conquest, appearances and who they know. They seek to be with the “right people” and are contemptuous of those they see as inferior.

Yet narcissists are deeply myopic about their superficiality. Their sense of entitlement leaves them expecting worship, admiration, and respect, unaware that respect must be earned and admiration is character as well as accomplishment.

7) Charismatic in Public, Yet Ill-tempered Behind Closed Doors

Many narcissists are oh-so-charming in public settings. But those who live with narcissists often see the darker side in private: selfishness, manipulation, abuse, and more.

It can be frustrating when others are taken in by a narcissist’s charm and fail to see their Jekyll-and-Hyde nature. But if you live with a narcissist, you are not imagining their unhealthy behavior. It is just one more double standard.

8) Demanding of Absolute Loyalty, Yet Quick to Betray Others

Narcissists fear abandonment, humiliation, and betrayal. Because of this, they demand and repeatedly test others' loyalty.

Yet narcissists will sell nearly anyone down the river with little thought or remorse if it serves their needs.

Knowing these double standards can help you cope with narcissistic people. Remember:

  • Double standards these are unhealthy and unfair
  • You don’t have to play by these rules
  • When faced with narcissistic behavior, ask yourself, “At what cost?”

Dealing with narcissists almost always has a cost, but your power comes from choosing which costs you will tolerate and which you will not.

© Copyright 2019 Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., MFT

Earlier versions of this blog originally appeared on psychcentral.com and goodtherapy.org.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/narcissism-demystified/201909/the-frustrating-double-standards-narcissists

Narcissists Are Sick, Stressed, and Insecure

Why Narcissists Are So Frustrating

Narcissists will often admit their narcissism, but not its adverse effects.

If you took them at their word, as researchers did for decades using self-reports, you'd think that narcissists are happier, healthier, smarter, less anxious, less depressed, and more creative than everyone else.

But just recently researchers have begun studying narcissists on a physiological level, and these findings paint a different picture.

In one such study, University of Michigan psychologist Robin Edelstein and her collaborators gave undergrads ten minutes to prepare a speech.

Students were told that their audience would be composed of human behavior experts—who were, in fact, just observers told not to nod, smile or react when the students presented.

Then the researchers took away the students' notes right before their speech so they had to present from memory or off the cuff to a non-responsive audience.

This simple experiment generates a reliable stress response, which causes a surge in the stress hormone cortisol that researchers can measure. You'd think that narcissists' confidence would mitigate their stress. But, in fact, narcissism was associated with increased stress.

Though there was minimal difference in cortisol levels among women, in men, higher narcissism predicted greater cortisol reactivity and worse mood.

Other research with different experiments shows similar results: narcissists get physically more stressed than less narcissistic people when performing for an audience.

“Narcissism comes with physiological costs,” says Joey Cheng, a psychologist at the University of Illinois.

In one of her own studies, Cheng measured cortisol and alpha-amylase, two biomarkers of stress produced by the sympathetic nervous system (our fight-or-flight response).

Over a three-day period, she found that narcissists produced higher amounts of both markers when they experienced negative emotions in response to everyday frustrations.

“Narcissists' stress-response systems are particularly sensitive to everyday negative emotions,” Cheng explains. “Among people who are not narcissists, you don't see this really elevated output of these stress markers.

” And, interestingly, narcissists had elevated levels of both cortisol and alpha-amylase, which typically aren't strongly correlated. Whereas cortisol reflects immediate, acute stress, alpha-amylase is more associated with long-term, chronic stress.

Cheng's research indicates that narcissists may suffer more from both.

But why? What makes narcissists so stressed? For one, narcissists might be more stressed than non-narcissists because they're actually more insecure. Cheng says her research is consistent with the longstanding theory that narcissists are, counterintuitively, less confident and less able to cope with setbacks.

What Cheng and others call narcissists' “fragile egos” might explain why they're more agitated by daily hassles. “If they were truly confident and not vulnerable or fragile, they should show the opposite pattern, where they would have less stress entering the body during hardship,” Cheng notes.

Instead, narcissists put up a self-satisfied front that shatters every time something goes wrong.

More From Tonic:

Their fragile ego explains why narcissists experience frequent and substantial fluctuations in self-esteem. If you get a bad grade on a test, or a poor performance review at work, your self-esteem probably takes a hit.

“But for the narcissistic person even more so,” says Edelstein, the Michigan psychologist. If something good happens, narcissists see it as confirmation of their brilliance. If something bad happens, they feel wrecked.

Indeed, individuals experience higher levels of narcissism after positive events, and lower levels of narcissism during times of stress.

Moreover, mounting evidence that narcissists aren't all they thought they were is stressful.

Perceived discrepancies between one's ideal self and one's actual self are associated with adjustment problems, lower self-esteem, and higher negative affect.

Narcissists may also experience more stress than non-narcissists due to their unique sensitivity to social stress. Edelstein's and other research suggests that narcissists have higher cortisol and cardiovascular reactivity in socially threatening situations, when they're being watched or judged.

Why? Narcissism is generally defined and measured as using others to “satiate needs for admiration and recognition” and “self-enhance.” Thus, by definition, narcissists rely on others to boost their fragile self-esteem—which means that each social interaction has high stakes.

In her speech study, Edelstein thinks that the “experience of not getting a response from their audience was particularly stressful for [narcissists].

” People who aren't narcissistic, by contrast, are less dependent on others for their self-worth, so they're less socially stressed.

Plus, narcissists' personalities make genuine social connection difficult, which can exacerbate stress. For example, narcissists have less grey matter volume in brain regions associated with emotional empathy. They're also defensive and untrusting.

So the narcissist conundrum, as one researcher observed, is “their social behaviors ultimately end the relationships that they count on in order to maintain their grandiose self-views.

” Because people without good social support are particularly suceptible to stress, narcissists suffer worse from not only social stress but also life stress.

Still, the correlation between narcissism and cortisol persists even after controlling for perceived social support.

Why else might narcissists be stressed? The final potential explanation—more of a personal theory—is that being stressed itself makes narcissists feel important, which reinforces both their stress and their grandiosity.

If narcissists are to retain their inflated importance, everything that goes wrong must also be magnified on the same scale. Their stress serves to mask their true smallness. Even real tragedy must be extra-tragic: for example, survivors of traumatic events are more ly to develop PTSD if they're narcissistic.

Sustained stress could predispose narcissists to health problems cancer, high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, diabetes, and strokes, Cheng says. For example, one study found that egocentric women showed hyperactivity of certain cardiovascular indicators that are linked to heart disease.

And a longitudinal study by Edelstein suggests that hypersensitive narcissists develop more depressive symptoms, physical health problems, and lower life satisfaction in mid-life.

Narcissists' stress—combined with their characteristic impulsivity, sensation seeking and invincibility complexes—may also instigate unhealthy coping in the form of substance abuse, aggressive driving, eating disorders or unsafe sex.

In the last three decades, American narcissism has risen by 30 percent. Over time, narcissism increases in people with high wellbeing and low emotional reactivity.

As our nation's standard of living skyrockets and people acclimate to a shallower level of suffering, it's possible that our narcissism will increase along with, consequently, our stress and its side effects.

Maybe this is nature's checks and balances: If we get too cocky, we'll begin to suffer toward humility.

Read This Next: How I Realized My Mom Is a Narcissist

Source: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vb7m7b/most-narcissists-are-deeply-insecure-and-physically-unhealthy

Add a comment