- 7 Signs Your Relationship Is Strong Enough To Survive Going Long-Distance
- 8 Signs Your Long Distance Relationship Will Work
- 1. Surprises
- 2. Importance
- 3. Confidence
- 4. Optimism
- 6. Trust
- 7. Traveling
- 8. Communication
- 5 Warning Signs That Your Long Distance Relationship Isn’t Going To Last
- 1. Excuses for not calling
- 2. Dry Responses
- 3. Not Knowing There Whereabouts
- 4. You do not know members of their family or close friends
- 5. You are not in their plans anymore
- 10 Reasons A Long-Distance Relationship Will Work
- 1. Embrace Your Vulnerability
- 2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity
- 3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking
- Final Thoughts
- More Tips About Living Your True Self
- 7 Clear Signs You’re Headed For A Long Distance Relationship Break Up
- 1. You find yourself feeling suspicious all the time
- 2. You Don’t Make Plans Anymore
- 3. There Are No More Romantic Surprises
- 4. You No Longer Feel Supported
- 5. All Your Thoughts Become Negative
- 6. The Intimacy In Your Relationship Is Gone
- 7. Your Communication Becomes Boring
- Can you spot some of these signs in your own relationship?What did we miss? What other signs indicate a long distance relationship break up is imminent?
- 5 Signs Your Long Distance Relationship Will Last
- You trust each other and respect each other’s choices:
- You make time for them whenever possible:
- You express your love for each other:
- Your partner knows exactly what’s going on in your life and vice versa
- You have future plans together:
7 Signs Your Relationship Is Strong Enough To Survive Going Long-Distance
Although I once found myself in a long-distance relationship that spanned four years, my partner and I never had the luxury of asking ourselves, “Should we do long-distance?” Our relationship had been long-distance from the start, which felt a lot wading through the dark in a strange house.
We constantly bumped into problems we weren't prepared for, deciding on the perfect travel schedule to accommodate our new relationship. I used all of my breaks from college to visit my partner but he rarely took time off to visit me.
If we had dated in person before doing long-distance, I would have factored the inflexibility of his schedule into my decision to take the LDR plunge.
If you and your partner are currently thinking of doing long-distance — for example, because you are moving away for school or work — there are few things you should consider first.
Can you afford to travel back and forth to see your partner? Do you get frustrated when you can't get in touch with your partner for long periods of time? While the answers to these questions might not be relationship deal-breakers, they're worth discussing at length with your partner before you decide that you're ready for a long-distance relationship.
According to relationship coach Adam Maynard, there are seven ways you can tell if your relationship is strong enough to go the distance.
Is it just me or do long-distance couples actually keep in touch way more frequently than more traditional couples do? My former partner and I spoke constantly via text and social media, which helped make up for all the time we spent apart.
Of course, you and your partner don't have to talk to each other all the time if you don't want to. It's totally up to you to decide how often you want to talk to each other and which platforms work best for you, as long as you're communicating.
No physical contact means that things touch and body language cues aren't at your disposable so you should feel comfortable using your words to open up to your partner.
Maynard adds, “The ability to effectively speak up about and work through the problems that will inevitably arise in a long-distance relationship is one of the most important skills far away partners can have.
” It doesn't help to be passive-aggressive or to give your partner the silent treatment in the middle of an argument because long-distance relationships rely heavily on verbal and written communication.
Ultimately, I think this is where my relationship fell apart. My partner and I were together for the right reasons but we didn't have similar visions in mind for our future together. Before you get into a long-distance relationship, you should have a clear idea why long-distance is the best option for you and your partner at the time and how you intend to get through it.
Maynard tells Elite Daily, “Knowing how the long-distance arrangement fits into your shared long-term goals is essential for navigating the distance successfully. You know what purpose the time apart is serving, and the fact that you are both working toward the same end goal motivates you to endure the difficult parts.”
This doesn't always mean that one of you should have definitive plans to move to the other and a deadline by which to do so.
My partner's parents were actually in a long-distance marriage at the time and had been for about 10 years with no end in sight. What's important is that you and your partner agree on wherever you see things going.
If you intend to live apart indefinitely (I did, but my partner did not), both you and your partner need to be on board.
This is a given in any relationship but it's especially important for long-distance relationships. Living separately means you will both lead very different lives that include different people and different interests, and you need to be OK with that.
According to Maynard, “If you know your partner respects you on a fundamental level, you’ll feel more at ease navigating the uncertainty that comes with maintaining the relationship from afar. You’ll know they admire and value you enough to not do anything that might hurt you.
” They should be able to expect the same from you.
“It goes without saying that long-distance relationships require, well, time apart. If you already have periods where you’re each comfortable doing your own thing, the forced separation that comes from shifting to distance won’t be such a shock,” Maynard says. As long as you and your partner are able to lead happy, fulfilling lives outside of your relationship, you'll be just fine.
Being in a long-distance relationship means not always knowing how your partner spends their day, which will inevitably infuriate you if you don't trust them.
Ideally, Maynard advises, “You need to know that your partner is factoring your feelings and the health of the relationship into the decisions they’re making, or you’ll doubt the relationship even when there’s no real reason to.
” If you already have a hard time dealing with relationship insecurities, long-distance will only make things worse.
Particularly if you're in college, it can be hard not having your partner around when all of your friends are coupled up on campus.
In a moment of weakness, you might even question whether or not your long-distance relationship is worth the hassle. The truth is that every relationship is different.
Just because another couple is lucky enough to live in the same residence hall doesn't necessarily mean they're happy.
Maynard explains, “Relationships that tend to fare better long-distance are ones where partners are less emotionally dependent on one another.
” If you rely solely on your partner for emotional support, you might have an extraordinarily difficult time being away from them.
This also puts a lot of pressure on your partner to live up to expectations that might be impossible to meet without being able to see you and hold you.
On the other hand, Maynard says, “If both partners have a strong sense of themselves (what they want and need, and how to get it) and rely less on their partners to support them in ways that can ultimately be taxing, they’ll be able to more successfully maintain the relationship.”
Long-distance relationships are never easy. Before you and your partner commit to the idea, be honest with yourselves about whether or not you think your relationship can withstand the challenge.
8 Signs Your Long Distance Relationship Will Work
Kate Gitman 6 months ago – in Love
It`s not always difficult to be in a long-distance relationship even though you miss your partner a lot and may have lots of other problems. It depends on how your relationship is important to you.
Despite the fact that every relationship has its difficulties, you can have a successful relationship even without seeing each other for a long time, of course, if you work hard on it together. Remember that it`s a team work – you have to give and to get something in return at the same time.
If you`re in doubt about your ability to cope with a long-distance relationship, here are some tips that will help you.
If you love making surprises to each other, you`ll handle a long-distance relationship easier. While others suffer from constant missing their beloved, you have a perfect chance to prepare a nice and unpredictable gift for your partner or even to present them with something unusual. You can send love letters or a love song to describe your deepest feelings.
When you`re going to handle a long-distance relationship, make sure you both want it seriously. The more important your partner is to you, the more chances you have to keep your relationship strong.
Your partner should be your priority in any situation. When they call – try to answer no matter what you do and how you feel. When you receive a message – answer as soon as possible.
It`ll give you hope and show your partner how valuable they are for you.
If you`re in doubt about the success of your long distance relationship, it means that you complicate everything yourself. Believe in yourself and you`ll encounter less problems.
Positive way of thinking is always useful as it helps to be in high spirits.
It removes those sufferings and, in general, makes you free from those unpleasant feelings a long-distance relationship often brings.
Read also – Avoid Fighting Over These 7 Silly Things in Your Relationship
You and your partner definitely need to be optimistic about your future if you want to have a happy long-distance relationship. Your attitude towards your own possibilities is highly important since it defines how serious your expectations are. If you think you`re not strong enough to handle a distance, talk to your partner and let him know how you feel.
Jealousy is a serious problem for every couple. If you don’t trust your partner now, you won’t trust them tomorrow, which means your long distance relationship is doomed to failure. Jealous women always imagine terrible circumstances and they believe their imagination. Women think men are unfaithful and men think most women are light-headed. Only trust can help you but not jealousy.
Trust is an irreplaceable part of every happy relationship, especially a long-distance one. Of course, a person can`t be completely sure about what is going on with their partner in another city or country but this is the question of trust. You won`t worry that your partner can find someone else if you trust each other. Though, the trust but verify attitude is crucial too.
If you love traveling, you can just put everything aside and visit your partner wherever they are. It`ll be adventurous yet pleasant for both of you. A passion for traveling is a good sign that you can handle a long-distance relationship with little to no problems. If you notice that your partner isn’t happy to see you, it’s time to get jealous.
Read also – 8 Steps to a Long-Lasting Relationship
You two probably know about the importance of communication in a long-distance relationship. It`s just essential for you to keep in touch by phone calls, messages, e-mails, online chats, whatever. It`ll give you a needed sense of togetherness and help you cope with any long-term relationship problems.
A long-distance relationship isn`t easy to go through but, on the other hand, it makes your bond stronger and challenges both of you. It`s a nice way to find out whether you truly love each-other or not.
If you`re sure about it you can easily overcome all the problems you will face down the road. Just trust each other no matter what others will say.
What are the keys to a strong and happy long-distance relationship?
5 Warning Signs That Your Long Distance Relationship Isn’t Going To Last
Sometimes the distance is too much in a long distance love. Here are some warning signs that your long distance relationship isn’t going to work.
They say that distance makes hearts grow fonder in long distance love. Long distance relationships can be fun and exciting. However, managing to stay in love while miles apart can be strenuous.
When you notice a lag in updating each other about the events in your lives, taking longer to make calls or Facetime, you may be headed for a break-up. Your first instinct is to stick it out and salvage it. However the issues might stay the same or worsen.
You need to watch out for the telltale signs that you and your long distance live drifted apart. There are subtle signs that you can use to confirm whether you need to move on or stay.
1. Excuses for not calling
Healthy relationships are often consistent communication. They are easily identifiable by how much people keep in touch with long duration calls and most of their time chatting.
Relationship experts have verified that if you no longer communication regularly, your relationship is no longer stable. It’s one thing if the lack of communication is temporary (perhaps they are the country or dealing with personal issues).
However, if the situation isn’t temporary, then that might be a warning sign. If for example, your partner is always giving many reasons to justify their lack of communication, take it as a sign your long distance relationship is in trouble.
The excuses could be anything from running errands, too much work, or catching up on a sitcom. These are the few reasons why they may not want to make contact and these are some red flags.
2. Dry Responses
The reasons you guys are apart may range from school or work or just the timing of your relationship. Whatever the reason, committed partners must set out time to make contact with their spouses regardless of their schedules. When the other person is not committed to respond, you will notice dryness in the responses.
If the responses are minimal and not leading to anything, you should take it as a bad sign in your relationship. This means the other party is less interested and enthusiastic about your company. Blunt or meaningless responses to your questions or remarks signal that their interest is waining. It could also mean they have something else on their mind.
Inquire to see if there is something deeper that’s going on.
RELATED: 10 Tips On How To Handle Arguments In A Long Distance Relationship
3. Not Knowing There Whereabouts
Living miles away from you is not enough reason to not know where your partner is. If for example, your long distance love lives with roommates, it should be easy to tell because they will come up in the conversations.
However, if it is not possible to tell whom they live with or where they are exactly at any point in time, they could probably be hiding something. You don’t have to know exactly where they are at all times of the day.
However, if it’s becoming more frequent that they don’t tell you about their plans or is they lie about where they are going to be, it’s a sign you are ly to end up apart. Keeping their whereabouts a secret is not a good sign for a long healthy relationship.
4. You do not know members of their family or close friends
This is one of the quickest ways to raise suspicion about the future of your relationship. Keeping family and close friends a relationship is almost practically impossible.
If your partner keeps their family or close friends a secret and not part of your conversation, it might be because your partner doesn’t want you to know about that part of their life. It is normal to at least know of the closest friends and family because they can easily come up in conversations.
Besides, when they are not with you, they are ly to be spending time with their family or friends when not at work or attending classes.
Being in a relationship with someone whom you do not know any of their family members or close friends is a little strange.
It is almost as if the relationship is unreal. There are no people to support the relationship. This means you have a clear sign that the long distant relationship might not last.
5. You are not in their plans anymore
When in love in a long distance relationship, you are always included in your partner’s long term plan. Even when events do not include you, there is always a way to slot you in or set out time to compensate for the absence.
When your partner begins to exclude you from their future plans, take it as a warning to your relationship.
If trips to visit your become one-sided or perhaps there’s no interest in planning future visits, this is a huge red flag that you’re headed for a breakup.
It is better to nurture a relationship early than wait until it is in jeopardy and then try to salvage it. This is the importance of learning to take the early signs of trouble in your LDR. Long distance relationships are exciting but it does come with challenges. Watch out for some of the signs that your long distance love might be coming to an end.
10 Reasons A Long-Distance Relationship Will Work
Last Updated on April 17, 2020
We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.
When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.
In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.
Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.
If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.
According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.” Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.
No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.
When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.
Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.
1. Embrace Your Vulnerability
When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.
Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.
When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.
Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.
In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.
It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.
You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.
Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.
What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?
You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.
That’s where we all should be.
So, answer me this:
How are you, really?
And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.
Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.
Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.
Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)
Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.
It’s taking control.
2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity
You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by staying true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.
You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.
In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.
Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.
You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…
Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’ When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.
But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?
It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.
In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You
It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.
Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:
Change will happen.
Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.
You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.
And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.
You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?
That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.
You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.
When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.
3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking
Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.
In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.
If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s you rise twice.
Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.
Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable. It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved. It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.
How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?
Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.
“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.
Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.
Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.
It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.
Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,
“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”
What would you do if you felt you were enough?
By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.
So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.
By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.
Staying true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.
When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.
You will find that making decisions what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!
More Tips About Living Your True Self
Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com
7 Clear Signs You’re Headed For A Long Distance Relationship Break Up
I know plenty of LDR success stories—couples who met at distance, started dating, closed the gap, and lived happily ever after together (or, uh, happily most of the time.)
Heck, I’m one of them.
But here’s something we don’t talk a lot about on this blog…
Many long distance relationships don’t work out. In fact, most of them will end in a long distance relationship break up rather than wedding bells.
And you know what else?
For most people, dating is the process of trying to figure out if you’re a good match, and if you want to be with this person for the long haul—the really long haul.
This is a complicated enough thing to do if you live in the same city and can see each other regularly. It gets even more complicated if you’re in a long distance relationship.
But here’s the really interesting twist…
Being in a long distance relationship can actually make it harder to break up, not easier!
When you’re in a LDR you can get to know someone else quite quickly, and on quite a deep level. However, it can take more time to figure out other things, whether there’s actual in-person chemistry between you, and whether it just feels easy and right when you’re sharing the same space.
And sometimes, when things start to feel they’re not working out or we get those little warning bells in our mind that tells us something about this relationship isn’t working, we can delay acting on that and breaking things off, because we’re busy trying to figure out if it’s the distance that’s the main problem or the relationship itself.
So today we thought we’d talk about some of the main signs that are good predictors that you’re headed towards a dead-end in your LDR. Here are seven of them, and links to extra resources to help you learn more:
1. You find yourself feeling suspicious all the time
Where are they? What are they doing? Who are they out with? Why haven’t they texted me back? Are they cheating? Do they really love me? Are they as “into” this relationship as I am? Are they thinking about breaking it off???
Everyone in a long distance relationship has thoughts these now and again. But when you find yourself fretting and feeling anxious when they are contact or offline for any length of time, you have a problem.
And when you find yourself constantly wanting to check up on them, needing them to pick up whenever you call, or always text you back straight away, you definitelyhave a problem.
Being constantly in touch does not guarantee things are working between you two. In fact, checking up on each other every hour is more stalking your partner rather than caring for them.
And don’t blame the distance for this dynamic. It’s usually not the distance that makes you want to stay in touch all the time. It’s usually a lack of trust and your own personal insecurities . And if there’s not some baseline level of trust and ease in a relationship, it often means the expiration date is near (or should be, anyway.)
Struggling with this? Check out: 6 Ways to Build Trust in a Long Distance Relationship and 14 Subtle Signs Your Long Distance Partner May Be Cheating On You.
2. You Don’t Make Plans Anymore
When’s the next time you’ll see each other? Where? What are you really looking forward to doing when you’re next together? What’s a big adventure you’d to take together? Have you started to talk about whether and how you might close the gap?
As long as you are dreaming and scheming together, it matters less if you aren’t sleeping in the same bed because you’re still actively focused on and working towards seeing each other, having new experiences, and a shared future.
It may not be time to talk about closing the gap yet, but if you’re not planning and talking about your next visit, something’s wrong.
Your long distance relationship is sinking if you’re not working together to make plans to see each other, and you don’t even know when will be the next time you’ll get to hug them.
And things are especially bad when you just don’t feel that excited by the thought of being with the person you used to wish you were with all the time.
If you find yourself in this situation and things stay this way for more than a week or two, then alarm bells should be going off. And, honestly, it’s probably time to hit the STOP button since the feelings you had for each other are unly to wake up again.
Struggling with this? Check out: Make A Together List
3. There Are No More Romantic Surprises
When is the last time you received or sent those lovely open-when letters sprinkled with their favorite perfume, or cute happy snaps of two of you having fun together?
What did you get them on their birthday, at Christmas, or for Valentine’s Day (no matter how much they may have protested that they weren’t really “into” Valentine’s Day. When was the last real “just because” sweet surprise?
Let’s face it, Skype sessions and web chats are not quite enough in a long distance relationship. They are the flour, salt, and eggs in the cake, sure. But every cake needs some sugar, too. And a little bit of icing goes a long way, as well.
Just remember: Doing something extraordinary isn’t necessary to keep the spark alive in a long distance relationship.
Sometimes, small gestures ( simply sending an “I Love You” text every now and then and cute pictures that your partner loves) can reignite passion and affection, too.
But if it seems all of those ‘small sweet gestures’ are gone, this might indicate your affection for them is too.
Struggling with this? Check out: 20 Romantic Gifts For Couples In Long Distance Relationshipsand 80 Awesome Gift Ideas For Couples.
4. You No Longer Feel Supported
Do you feel you’re the one putting in all the effort? Do things feel a one-way street? Have they felt that for a while?
If your long distance relationship is going to last, you need to be a team. Both of you fight the difficulties together. When one of you stops fighting to make it work, the relationship will stop working too.
When your partner starts doing all the talking… about themselves. Or they don’t ask you many questions, or ever really seem interested in how you are. Or they expect you to be the one that always makes the effort to come visit, or reorganize schedules to talk…
There are all signals that your partner is not even trying to understand you. That they’re not really there for you. If there’s not some decent give and take, the relationship isn’t doomed to endnecessarily (‘cuz they’re getting what theywant) but it’s not a healthy or good relationship for you to be in.
Struggling with this? Check out: He Is Acting Needy And Controlling: Should I Break Up?and 7 Signs You Should Probably End Your Long Distance Relationship.
5. All Your Thoughts Become Negative
Do you feel generally happy and secure about your relationship most of the time? Or do you find yourself drowning in pessimism, insecurity, sadness, and other negative thoughts?
If you find yourself starting to overthink every situation of your relationship or swirling in insecurity, it can be a sign that the relationship isn’t working. Everyone has a bad day or two now and again, but if you find yourself having these sorts of thoughts all the time, your LDR is in serious trouble:
- Comparing yourself with other people’s relationships
- Knowing deep down you’ll never close the gap
- Constantly worrying they will cheat on you
- Feeling sure they just don’t love you.
Struggling with this? Check out Try These 7 Tips When You Feel Scared And Insecure In Your Relationshipand this guide for maintaining a long distance relationship.
6. The Intimacy In Your Relationship Is Gone
Intimacy is an important part of any relationship. Whatever the “normal” level of intimacy is in your relationship, there’s a problem if that intimacy disappears.
For example, if you’re used to talking every second day for about an hour or so, and they suddenly want to only chat once a week…. Something’s up.
Or if sexual intimacy is part of your relationship and you suddenly stop engaging in phone sex without making a clear decision about it, this suggests a lack of chemistry and passion between both of you.
Or if thereis less and less intimacy with each visit, you can be pretty sure that your relationship is about to hit a dead end.
Struggling with this? Check out: 10 Pro Tips For Staying Well Connected In A Long Distance Relationship and Why Meeting Someone Online Promotes Casual Intimacy (And How To Protect Yourself)
7. Your Communication Becomes Boring
Everyone in a long distance relationship goes through dry spells sometimes where talking feels harder and you feel you’re struggling to connect well over the phone.
But if you’ve stopped having those longer and in-depth conversations or you start making excuses about how you can’t find time to talk, it can be a sign that you are slowly giving up.
Struggling with this? Check out: Our conversations are easy when we’re together. Apart, it just feels we’re making small talk…and 6 things to try when you run things to talk about
Can you spot some of these signs in your own relationship?
What did we miss? What other signs indicate a long distance relationship break up is imminent?
Adil is a life-style writer, music-lover and a Sagittarius. He enjoys writing about dating hacks, relationship tips and love advice. You can find out more here.
5 Signs Your Long Distance Relationship Will Last
Long distance relationships can be very difficult. You must find yourself wondering often if your relationship will last. There is always the fear of losing someone you love especially when they are miles away from you.
Although you love each other, it could be emotionally exhausting and the longing and loneliness can sometimes cripple your relationship.
But if your relationship has these things below, then you and your loved one are going to make it.
You trust each other and respect each other’s choices:
Most long distance relationships don’t work because couples fall prey to doubt and distrust. But where there is love, there is no place for doubt. If you trust your partner to do the right thing wherever they are and whoever they are with and believe them to be a stronger person, then there will be no insecurities or doubts.
It is also important that you respect their choices and not act controlling. You don’t insist on pricking every aspect of their life.
You don’t let the loneliness get to you. You can enjoy with your friends and other people without feeling guilty and don’t stop your partner from having a good time without you.
You trust that they will be always there no matter what.
You make time for them whenever possible:
Whenever you get off from work or college, you try to visit them. You try to make plans whenever you both get free. This shows your effort and interest in them and they do the same for you.
You understand that they are busy when they can’t talk to you and both of you try to ignore petty fights.Long distance relationships can be emotionally exhausting. And they know that it is better to let go sometimes instead of fighting.
You believe in communicating rather than holding grudges.
You express your love for each other:
They always remind you that they are missing you and both of you try to make each other feel that you are in this together and you will get through it.In long distance relationships, sometimes people keep wondering if they still have the same passion and love for each other.
It becomes difficult for another person who is so far away from you if you don’t express your love for them and show that you care.
People who can make it work who never forget to remind their partner that they are loved and missed even if they are far away.
They always show through sweet gestures how sincerely they are missing you.
Your partner knows exactly what’s going on in your life and vice versa
If your partner knows about your big project or your next big goal and vice versa, then it’s a great sign that you two will be in it for the long haul. It means you guys are communicating regularly.
He or she doesn’t have to know every little detail, but if they know the things that are affecting your life on a large scale, it means they’re really invested in your life.
If your love knows that you are feeling stressed or excited, then it’s an even better sign because you guys can connect emotionally even when there is distance.
You have future plans together:
You know you are important to someone when they want you in their life for a long time. Couples who think about long term goals together usually don’t give in as they are focusing on what is to come than the volatile present.
They tell you about their bigger plans in life and you are a huge part of the future.They don’t make fake promises as they themselves know it hurts to hope and then get disappointed.But at the same time you have your independent professional and personal goals.
You don’t hinder each other’s paths and encourage them to do what they aspire for. Both of you know that being confident independently in your professional life is important and you don’t let your relationship get in their way to achieve more.
They understand that your life does not revolve around them but still believe in your love and always support you in the small and big decisions you make.
Finding love is difficult and it is more difficult to make it stay. Surviving a long distance relationship means you are deeply and sincerely committed to each other and willing to make every end meet to make the other person stay in life. Couples who try to nurture their relationship irrespective of time and distance sincerely can make it to the end.