- What Do Dreams About Cheating Mean?
- Dissatisfaction emotionally
- Dissatisfaction sexually
- Unresolved feelings about a past infidelity
- So, your partner cheated on you in your dream…
- OK, and what if you’re the cheater…
- What’s the Meaning of a Dream About Your Girlfriend Cheating?
- What It Means to Dream About Girlfriend Cheating
- What Your Dream About Girlfriend Cheating Says About You
- Some Meanings of Your Dream About Girlfriend Cheating
- Other Interpretations of Dream About Girlfriend Cheating
- Dream About Girlfriend Cheating Is Sometimes Just A Dream
- Dream About Girlfriend Cheating Explained
- How Your Dream About Girlfriend Cheating Can Help Your Relationship
- Common Dreams: Cheating
- What Does It Mean When You Dream That Your Partner Is Cheating?
What Do Dreams About Cheating Mean?
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First off: Relax. Having a cheating dream doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is on the fritz.
Still, according to certified dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg, “It’s something you should be curious about because every single thing in our dreams means something. ly, your subconscious is telling you — or trying to work through — something.”
Because cheating dreams are one of the most common dreams people have, according to Loewenberg, we tapped her and Brooklyn-based psychotherapist Aimee Barr, LCSW, to bring you this cheating dream crib sheet.
While every cheating dream is as unique as the dreamer themselves, Loewenberg says most can be traced back to one of these three underlying issues.
Turns out it’s usually not about the sex! “It’s less about the physical union and more about the psychological or emotional union, that the sex represents,” says Loewenberg.
“The emotion you’re experiencing in the dream is very real and coming from a very real place,” she explains. Your plan of action is to discern what that emotion is exactly.
Common culprits? Feeling guilty, insecure, jealous, bored, anxious, angry, or overwhelmed.
While most cheating dreams aren’t about the actual sex, some are. Dreams about infidelity can take place when there’s some unease about your sexual relationship.
Are you having sex? Are you happy with how often you’ve been having sex? Is there something you’ve been wanting to try in bed that your partner shut down? How about vice-versa?
Unresolved feelings about a past infidelity
If you were cheated on in the past, it’s really common to have dreams (nightmares?) about it happening again, according to Barr.
If your current partner did the deed, it’s an indication you need to continue rebuilding that trust. If a past partner cheated on you, you might be afraid of it happening again. (Barr notes a therapist can help you work through these fears).
There’s no one-size-fits all meaning to your cheating dream, but Loewenberg says there are some common themes that emerge. Scroll down for more.
So, your partner cheated on you in your dream…
According to Loewenberg, “Dreaming your partner is cheating on you is far more common than dreaming of cheating on your partner.” So let’s start there.
Below, some common scenarios of your partner cheating that may play out in your dream state — plus what they might mean.
If your partner cheats with a stranger. You’re probably feeling cheated quality time and attention, says Loewenberg. “Have they been working more than normal? Have they been spending too much time online or playing World of Warcraft? Did they recently join a band?”
If your partner cheats with an ex. You can be 1,000 percent confident that your partner loves you and will not leave you and still have this dream, according to Loewenberg. “It’s usually a sign that you’re jealous of something your ex has,” she says. Maybe it’s their sense of style or confidence. Maybe it’s that the ex knew your love in college, and you didn’t.
If your partner cheats with someone you’re close to. Do your partner and this person get along? If not, the dream may signal that them getting along is important to you. Otherwise, Loewenberg says, think about what this person has that represents what you want. Financial stability? A good sense of humor? A baby?
If your partner cheats with someone else you know IRL. ly, this has nothing to with your partner. Instead, it has everything to do with “the other.” Again she asks, “What does this person have that you lack?”
OK, and what if you’re the cheater…
Still no need to freak out! Often, “dreams where you’re the cheater signal that you feel guilty or have betrayed yourself or compromised your values or beliefs in some way,” says Loewenberg. Ready to learn more?
If you’re cheating with a stranger. Here, you’re probably the one splitting your attention in too many directions. “What’s going on that’s reducing how much energy you have for your partner? ly, you feel guilty about this,” says Loewenberg.
If you’re cheating with an ex. Understandably this probably makes you feel especially guilty. Good news: Unless you actively want to get back with your ex in your conscious state, this doesn’t mean you actually want to/should go at it with your ex.
Instead, “think about what you’re still healing from that past relationship that you might be bringing into this relationship,” says Loewenberg. It might be an actual infidelity, or another betrayal or emotionally abusive comment or dynamic.
If you’re cheating with someone your partner is close to. Examine how their relationship with your partner makes you feel. ly, your dream suggests a desire to get close with someone your partner is close to.
If you’re cheating with someone else you know IRL. Do you have an underlying attraction to this person? Is there a flirtation or emotional relationship forming between you? If the answer is yes to both questions, it’s time to unpack why you’re straying.
But if you’re not attracted to this person that, consider what personality trait or thing they have that your partner doesn’t. For example, maybe this person has a higher paying job than your partner and you’ve been stressed about money. Or maybe this person is known for being funny, and you and your partner are going through a tense time.
If you get caught in the act. What is it you’re feeling guilty about? This dream says it’s time to clear your conscious or own up to something you’ve been hiding.
If you’re cheating with someone who’s also in a relationship. No, you probably don’t actually want to be the other person. They probably have some qualities you’re looking for in a long-time boo.
If you’re cheating with more than one person. Drift off and find yourself… in an orgy? You’re splitting your attention in too many directions, says Loewenberg. Unless you’re bored by your sex life, then it might mean you want to experiment.
If you’re partner swapping. “Maybe you actually are interested in trying swinging, polyamory, or an open relationship,” says Loewenberg. “But more ly it means that couple has something that you want to be able to incorporate into your own,” she says. Think: good communication, a joint bank account, a shared sense of humor.
If you’re about to get or are newly married. Any time you have a cheating dream before a life or relationship milestone — getting married, moving, or getting engaged — think about the feeling in the dream, not the actual cheating. Is it excitement? Nervousness? Dread?
If you’re pregnant and your partner is cheating. Ready to have your mind blown? Being pregnant changes the way you look! “Usually pregnant folks have this dream either because they’re not in the mood because of what’s happening hormonally, or they feel less desirable and sexy as they get larger,” says Loewenberg.
If your partner’s pregnant and you’re cheating. Don’t worry! This is super common, according to Loewenberg. “Suddenly, there’s a relationship in your partner’s life that is more important than their relationship with you.” The dreams should stop when you adjust to the new reality.
Maybe you met a barista on vacation, fantasized about laying them down on the coffee bar and… well, you get the picture. It wouldn’t be W-I-L-D for this scene to play out in your dream-state.
wise, if you’ve always had a waking crush on Ruby Rose or George Clooney, chances are you’ve had a wet dream (or ten) about the sexy star. No big.
This becomes red-flag territory when you’re entertaining acting — or want to act — on this fantasy IRL. Here, Loewenberg says you need to figure out why you want to bring it to life.
Are you dissatisfied in your current relationship? Are you mad at your partner about something that hasn’t yet been resolved? Are you interested in opening up the relationship? Are you afraid of the level of commitment this relationship is requiring?
Barr adds, “It’s also a problem if this fantasy is interfering with your ability to be focused and present with your partner when you’re together.” Makes sense.
“You will continue to get this, or a similar, dream until you address the underlying issue that the dream is commenting on,” says Loewenberg. “So, you do need to address that underlying issue.”
Take some time to consider:
- Do I want to be in this relationship?
- Can I work through the jealousy I’m experiencing?
- Am I content with my current sexual relationship? What would I need to be content with it?
- Can I commit to dealing with my guilt?
If you’re not interested in staying in your relationship, that means ending it. Otherwise, it’s important to have an honest conversation with your partner.
“Infidelity is a really heightened and sensitive topic,” says Barr, so telling your partner that you’re having cheating dreams — especially if you’re doing the cheating — actually doesn’t have to be part of the convo.
Instead, “address that you are noticing that there’s an issue, and emphasize that you want to work through it with them,” she says. Or better yet, focus on the feelings of your dream and share them honestly.
Some ways to bring it up:
- “I want you to know that I’m aware of how split my attention has been these last few weeks, and I’d love to come up with a plan that allows us to spend more time together.”
- “I was reading about [open relationships, group sex, pegging, scissoring] and I think it might be something I’d to try. Is that something you might be interested in exploring together?”
- “I’ve been having a reoccurring nightmare that you are cheating on me, and I think it’s because I’ve been feeling jealous about [X]. Would you be open to problem solving this with me?”
Another option: couples or sex therapy. ly, the dream isn’t coming nowhere and you and your partner have been having this issue for a while, says Barr.
“Working with a mental health professional can help you explore and work through this issue together.”
Cheating dreams come in many different flavors, and there’s not one way to address the why behind them.
But actively working on your relationship and communicating about your respective emotional and sexual needs, desires, and wants can help you address any issue before it shows up in your dream space.
“If you communicate and are willing to compromise, chances are the dreams will stop,” says Loewenberg.
If this doesn’t halt these dreams, she suggests journaling right when you wake up from the dream and before bed.
“When you wake up from the cheating dream, go to your journal and write down as much detail as you remember.” says Loewenberg. “Then, rewrite the dream so it plays out how you want it to.”
This may not work right away, but eventually your subconscious will get the message, she says.
Before you go to bed, she suggests either journaling about what you love about your partner or what you’re grateful for. Or, “have sex with or masturbate to the thought of your partner.” There have been worse homework assignments.
Cheating dreams are usually — though not always — symptomatic of underlying unmet needs in your relationship.
Whether you decide to address and work through your concerns depends on your desire to be in your relationship.
However, it’s important to understand that these dreams probably won’t stop until you take stock of how you’re feeling and, in some cases, have an honest discussion with your partner.
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York–based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.
What’s the Meaning of a Dream About Your Girlfriend Cheating?
Dreams are a very curious thing. Most people have dreams when they sleep, even though not everyone will remember what they were about upon waking up.
The details get fuzzy, and the dreams are sometimes weird and confusing to even remember.
That’s quite unfortunate, though, because your dreams can be very helpful in uncovering what worries, scares, or excites you.
While the meaning of dreams can vary from person to person, there are many dream interpretations that can help you understand what your dream is all about.
Read on to find out what this dream can mean for you, your girlfriend, and your relationship!
What It Means to Dream About Girlfriend Cheating
It’s important to note that your dreams don’t represent the actions of others. They cannot tell you what the other person is thinking or planning to do.
What they do show is your own image of yourself and what you think is a risk to your well-being.
Many people often think that to dream about their girlfriends cheating on them means that they are about to start cheating.
This kind of thought pattern is not only unhealthy for you and your relationship. It can also lead to jealousy or insecurity on your part, leading your girlfriend towards cheating.
If your relationship with your girlfriend is happy and healthy, never change things that work, and don’t ever force your girlfriend to ‘admit’ a cheating if there’s no cheating involved.
All dreams about cheating are associated with a kind of personal insecurity, which is usually the fear of being betrayed.
Everyone has this fear. But part of being a mature partner in a relationship is learning to deal with your insecurities in a healthy manner so that they don’t affect your life.
Just think about how your girlfriend would feel when you accuse her of cheating when there’s no cheating at all.
The worst thing that can happen is that she would and leave you for good because of your baseless accusations!
What Your Dream About Girlfriend Cheating Says About You
To get to the bottom of your dream about your girlfriend cheating, it’s good to write down what you felt after having this dream.
Yes, you need to write it down or save it on a note in your phone because the details will get blurry.
You will start to forget your exact thoughts and emotions the more time passes since you’ve had that dream. Were you angry, hurt, humiliated, betrayed, or heartbroken?
Did you feel you were just watching a scene from a movie and you didn’t care about what’s happening to the characters?
Did you feel ready for it because you were somehow expecting that she would cheat eventually? Which aspect of your life do you think is making you feel all these feelings?
People that you see in your dreams do not exactly represent the same people in your waking life.
They are actually just reflections of yourself. To see your girlfriend cheating in your dream signifies that you are somehow cheating on yourself.
It can also mean that you are lying to yourself about how you truly feel, or that you’re ignoring something that’s significant.
READ NEXT: What’s the Meaning of Your Dream About Snakes?
Dreams of seeing your girlfriend cheating on you can lead you to ask yourself what you’re hiding in your life that you should bring out to the open.
It can make you reflect on where you are denying yourself of the love that you need and the respect that you deserve.
When you dream about your girlfriend cheating, it can be your subconscious mind’s way of letting you know that something is preventing you from being truly happy and at peace in all aspects of your life.
Seeing your girlfriend cheating in a dream and being intimate with another person is a message that you need to be more interested in all aspects of yourself so that you can focus on what you need to work on.
Cheating dreams such as this can also stem from your own pains. It’s perfectly normal, especially if you have been disappointed, lied to, left behind, or cheated on in the past.
There’s already this great fear that the same thing will happen, causing cheating dreams to surface.
But if you overcome your own fears and doubts, you can have a happy, healthy, and loving atmosphere that will help your relationship grow.
Some Meanings of Your Dream About Girlfriend Cheating
When you dream about your girlfriend cheating on you, it can be because you feel that you are not good-looking, successful, or smart enough to be with her.
It can also be because you’re feeling abandoned, unappreciated, or neglected, causing you to feel more insecure and afraid that she will leave you for someone more exciting and interesting.
To dream this kind of dream can also point to a lack of confidence in each other and the absence of trust in your relationship.
But it’s good to have these dreams, no matter how unsettling they may be. It’s because they can give you a chance to deal with your trust issues and determine your girlfriend’s trustworthiness.
This is not to say that dreaming about them cheating is not something to be concerned about.
Your unconscious can also be picking up signals that your partner is actually feeling unsatisfied and cheating with another person.
The dream warns you to look more closely and to start doing damage control if you want the relationship to work out.
But a dream about your girlfriend cheating is not always about them, because it can also be a reflection of your own guilty feelings for being attracted or in love with someone else!
Other Interpretations of Dream About Girlfriend Cheating
One of the most common interpretations of cheating dreams is your feelings of abandonment or neglect.
When you’re not getting enough attention from the person you love, it can bring about a vivid dream where she is madly in love with a person that’s not you.
Because they’re so busy doing their own thing to even pay attention to you, who can really blame you for thinking that they’re busy loving someone else?
Maybe your girlfriend is under a lot of pressure at work because she’s up for a big promotion, so she needs to spend more time at work, which means less time to be with you.
READ NEXT: What’s the Meaning of your Dreams About Smoking?
Even if you know that nothing is going on, every second that she’s not with you can be interpreted by your mind as time spent with someone new.
When you dream about your girlfriend cheating, it also points to your fear of abandonment. You worry about your future together and whether she will still be in the picture several years from now.
Maybe you’re looking out for a sign from your girlfriend that she’s ready to take the relationship to the next level.
These dreams usually occur because you were left behind by someone you loved in the past. A dream about your girlfriend cheating can also reflect on your low self-esteem.
When you feel you don’t measure up, you may start dreaming about your girlfriend cheating. You may start to wonder why billions of people in the world, she chose to be with you.
You may also start to question her motives because you are convinced there’s no reason for her to be in love with you.
Dreaming about your girlfriend cheating can also point to a lack of trust.
If your trust is betrayed, you start to doubt everything and everyone, and this can manifest as cheating in your dreams.
It does not happen often, but your girlfriend cheating in your dream may also be because she is cheating on you in real life.
Your subconscious is constantly picking up hints or cues that you may have overlooked, indicating that she’s not being faithful to you.
Cheating dreams also say a lot about your sexual passion and its intensity.
A dream about your girlfriend cheating suggests that you are all out and fully committed to your relationship in body, heart, mind, and soul.
Dream About Girlfriend Cheating Is Sometimes Just A Dream
Sometimes, your dreams are only caused by the mind’s distortion or exaggeration of stimuli.
Have you ever had a dream about famous celebrities? They usually occur because you think about this particular celebrity, scroll through their Instagram feed before going to bed, or watch their show on your tablet before nodding off.
Your mind then absorbs and stores these sounds and images in your subconscious and manifests them in your dreams.
It’s the same thing when you babysit for your friend and then dream about babies later that night.
To dream about your girlfriend cheating is usually a representation of some other aspect of your life and not your actual relationship.
Maybe you cheated on your restaurant bill by not telling the waiter they failed to include the glass of iced tea you ordered.
Maybe you told a white lie at Sunday dinner because you’re embarrassed to tell the truth. Your subconscious will replay the strongest and most powerful thoughts.
Dream About Girlfriend Cheating Explained
If you have been cheated on in the past, your subconscious will replay those cheating memories in your head and increase your probability of having cheating dreams.
Whenever triggered, the memories that you have been trying so hard to hold in will resurface to your conscious mind.
READ NEXT: What’s the Meaning of Your Dreams About Drowning?
If you’ve had a fight with your girlfriend, it’s so easy to unleash these repressed emotions because of how they connect to your strong negative thoughts and emotions.
It will remind you of the time you got hurt when you were cheated on. It will also fill you with fear and apprehension that it can happen again anytime.
Sometimes to dream about your girlfriend cheating means that you have problems in your relationship that you’re not aware of or you’re in denial about.
Maybe it’s your small but strong feeling that your relationship is getting monotonous, or maybe it’s the never-ending money problems.
Maybe it’s how you’re not compatible about a lot of things and you’re only discovering it now. Maybe it’s how she always judges or criticizes everything you do.
What the dream wants you to know is that you’re not feeling as confident with your connection or as stable in your relationship to your girlfriend.
How Your Dream About Girlfriend Cheating Can Help Your Relationship
Which scares you more: your girlfriend cheating on you or thinking that you’re not good enough?
If your girlfriend chose you, it only means that she found something truly wonderful and special in you.
There’s no need to be afraid or jealous because she knows she deserves your love and you deserve hers.
Frequent dreams of cheating can signify emotional distance. Make sure that no one is feeling isolated and alone. Not you, and not her.
Exert more effort to make each other feel special and loved.
Life happens, and people need to be responsible adults. Maybe you just need to make some changes in your relationship to make it better.
To achieve stability and security, release all emotional baggage and heal from your old emotional wounds.
The most important thing with dreams about cheating is not to imagine that this is really about your girlfriend or the person she is with. That ‘someone else’ is you, too.
What is it about that other person in your dream that your girlfriend seems so crazy about? How can you be more that?
The other person in your dream can be a symbolism for the characteristics you wish to hide from yourself.
This kind of dreams invites you to be the other person. Take note of the qualities that they have and work hard to be that person in your waking life.
Maybe it’s time to accept and embrace the qualities you are ashamed of and let go of any lingering feelings of hurt.
Maybe it’s time to fully enjoy the present and your relationship for what it is right here and right now!
Common Dreams: Cheating
“MyBoyfriend Cheated On Me!”
Beingcheated on in a dream can often feel so real that you actually go and accuseyour spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other of it. Such dreams areunsettling and disturbing. It often leaves you questioning your relationship.Often dreams about infidelity are rarely about cheating, but rather more aboutyour own feelings of insecurity. So what is this dream exactly about?
Beingcheated on points to neglect:
Alack of attention from your mate may trigger a dream where your mate is havingan affair.
Since they are not paying attention to you, then you start to think thattheir attention is focused on someone else.
Perhaps your significant other isworking longer hours or traveling more or spending more time at the gym. All isinnocent, but your dreaming mind manifests time spent away from you as anaffair.
Beingcheated on points to fear of abandonment:
Todream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you also indicatesyour fears of being abandoned.
You are concerned about the future and whetheryour significant other will be there for you. Perhaps you are waiting for acommitment from your significant other.
Often such dreams may occur because youwere abandoned before by an ex, by a parent or important person in your life.
Beingcheated on points to low self-esteem:
Whenyou feel unworthy, inadequate or that you do no measure up to the expectation ofothers, you may dream that your lover is cheating on you.
You have a low senseof self-worth and feel that there is no reason for your mate to stay withyou. Consider who your significant other is cheating with in your dream.
Isthis person someone who you think is better than you in some way? Are theyhandsomer, prettier, thinner, richer, smarter, etc?
Beingcheated on points to lack of trust:
Trustis an important element in a relationship. If that trust is compromised, thenyou may express doubt in the relationship. One of these doubts can manifestitself as a adulterous dream.
Beingcheated on points to actual cheating:
Inrare cases, your cheating dream may be about actual cheating in your relationship. Youmay be overlooking cues or hints that your subconscious is pickingup to indicate that your significant other is not being completely truthfulor is not fully committed in the relationship.Or perhaps you have been in denial about the infidelity.
Beingthe cheater in your dream:
Todream that you are the one having an affair suggests feelings of self-guilt and self-betrayal. You have compromised yourbeliefs or integrity.Sometimes the cheating may not be about your relationship, but rather asituation where you cheated or where you were being dishonest.
Alternatively,your affair with someone else may be about some qualityin this person that you need to incorporate or acknowledge within your own self.For example, if you are cheating on your mate with your boss, then the dream maysignify your desires for control, power and authority.
Cheating dreamsmay also reflect the intensity of your sexual passion; you are exploringareas of your sexuality. In this scenario, the dream may actually serve as areaffirmation of your commitment to your relationship.
If you areapproaching your own wedding date, then it is not uncommon to have dreams abouterotic experiences with partners other than your intended spouse. Such a dreamrepresents the newness of your sexual passion.
It is important to note that sucha dream does not mean that you will stray or that your dream is telling you thatyou are with the wrong person.
Stillanother dream interpretation of your infidelity suggests that your needs are notbeing satisfied by your significant other. As a result, you start to lookelsewhere. You feel that there is something more out there.
Eventhough dreams about cheating are hardly about actual cheating, it is stillimportant to address the emotions that brought about the cheating dream.
Feelings of neglect, insecurity and mistrust are things that should beconfronted and discussed inany personal relationship in order for the partnership to grow.
It is time tolet your guard down and open a dialogue with your significant other..
othercommon dream themes: chasedreams cheatingdreams deathdreams fallingdreams flyingdreams nakeddreams snakedreams teethdreams testdreams
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What Does It Mean When You Dream That Your Partner Is Cheating?
Are you dreaming that your partner is cheating? Could that be prophetic?
Did you have a weird dream recently that your boyfriend or girlfriend (or husband or wife, etc.) was cheating on you? Did the dream disturb you enough that now you’re wondering if you should be worried?
Dreams have long been looked to as sources of prophecy throughout many cultures, but does that prophecy extend to your personal life? Could it be that your dreams are telling you that your partner is indeed cheating?
Well, the answer is not quite that simple. That’s probably not what you want to hear in a time of uncertainty, but the truth is that it really depends on a few factors.
The truth is that dreams are often a window into the subconscious. Sometimes you might dream about random things that don’t seem to mean anything at the time, and other times, you might have a dream that is eerily close to real life.
If you keep having recurring dreams that your partner is getting frisky with someone else, this could be a huge indication that at the very least, your partner’s (dis)loyalty is weighing heavily on your mind. In other words, whether your partner is cheating or not, a dream this could mean that deep inside, you suspect that they are!
Your gut could be trying to send you the message that you simply don’t trust your partner. However, this doesn’t mean they actually are cheating, of course. Still, whether they are actually running off with someone else or not, if you can’t shake the feeling that you don’t trust your partner, then this needs to be addressed, of course.
Don’t ignore the early signs of distrust. If you feel weird about something, bring it up with your partner. If you can’t have an open conversation about your feelings with them without fear that they will judge you or be offended, then there are deeper problems there than simply a dream.
Dreams don't have to mean anything at all, of course.
On the other hand, dreaming that your partner is cheating might not have anything to do with your partner at all. It could be all about you! Dreams are full of symbolism, and this could be your subconscious’ way of telling you that you are insecure.
Think about your past relationships. Were you clingy and jealous in all of them? Are you that way now? Do you tend to be paranoid? If that’s the case, then of course eventually those kinds of thoughts will leak into your dreams. We often dream about what we’re thinking about during the day, especially repetitive thoughts.
So next time you’re awake, keep an eye on your thoughts. Follow the narrative of where your thoughts are going and be more conscious of them, and you might be surprised to find how many insecure thoughts you have about your partner in a day.
If you find that it’s a lot, there are ways to cut it down. Even if your partner is cheating, being paranoid and insecure doesn’t help at all. You want to face these kinds of situations with a clear mind. So follow these steps to take some of the emotion it:
- Watch your thoughts and notice when you are having an insecure thought about your partner’s disloyalty. (This takes practice. It’s okay if you forget and fall into the narrative sometimes. Just notice when you can.)
- Don’t try to suppress the thought. Let yourself have it, then follow it where it goes. You’ll find that your mind makes up thoughts on its own and then these thoughts go wild in a lot of different directions. Just watch where it goes. Have fun with it if you can manage it.
- Experience the thought without judging yourself. Sometimes this is hard, though, especially if you find that your thoughts lead somewhere painful. For example, you might discover to your horror that your brain is actually making up images and sceneries of your partner cheating. (That’s what your brain was doing at night while you were dreaming, right? It does this during the day, too, and you might not even notice unless you look!)
- Gently let go of the thought. Again, don’t suppress the thoughts! Just allow yourself to see them as what they are—merely thoughts—and try to let them go. Acknowledge each thought as it comes up (your brain simply wants you to know that it’s thinking these thoughts, and if you say ‘Yep, I heard you,” it will often leave you alone once it knows you received the urgent message). Yes, this can be difficult if you have a lot of those thoughts coming up, but try to remain vigilant.
- Notice patterns. Once you’ve seen and acknowledged a number of these thoughts, try to figure out the root of where they might be coming from. Sometimes just following them is enough for your mind to help you find the core reasons. Sometimes you will have to prod a little more and ask your subconscious to give you more information.
If you are able to successfully find a pattern, you now have the opportunity to learn something new about yourself. You may discover, for example, that this whole time you thought that you were over your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you in high school, but actually, you were carrying that baggage around this whole time because the experience made you feel worthless.
Or, you might discover something as simple as the fact that you genuinely feel there is something “off” in your current relationship, and that you’re wondering if your partner is getting his or her needs fulfilled.
At any rate, from this point of awareness, you can actually address the real problem underneath!
As with any recurring dream, keeping a notebook by your bed and writing the details of the dream when you wake up can be helpful.
In the dream, what type of images show up? Is your partner betraying you with someone who is “hotter” than you, or are they getting down with a hideous monster? Depending on what you see, these could be clues to the source of the issue.
Be mindful of the patterns in your dreams.
Get used to the elements of your regular dreamscape. Then, maybe you can become lucid and search for answers.
Another approach you might take is to directly interact with your dream characters in the dream and ask them what’s going on. Tap your cheating dream-partner on the shoulder and hear what they have to say.
They may be able to reveal some helpful information, and it’s a direct line to your subconscious.
Of course, that’s not always the case, since dreams can be full of random things, but you might discover something that you didn’t expect.
To be able to do this, you will have to be lucid in the dream. This means that you’ll have to be aware of the fact that you’re dreaming.
Naturally, this is a skill that you will have to have developed beforehand, but sometimes it can happen spontaneously.
If you’re an avid lucid dreamer, though, then this would be a good case to flex your skills—even if what you find might not be totally pleasant.
Even just being aware of the patterns of your dreams, though— you’re doing now while reading this article—can actually help you have a lucid dream! In the middle of the dream, you might remember and think, “Oh yeah, I’ve had this dream before, I even asked Google about it,” and then you will be conscious enough to talk to the dream characters and ask for answers.
At the end of the day, your partner probably isn’t cheating. Having anxiety dreams about being betrayed are actually pretty common! Still, you might want to talk to your partner about it, just to ease your mind and stop yourself from dreaming about it so much.