- Here are the times you should reject a marriage proposal
- If you would feel guilty for saying no
- If you’re marrying for convenience
- If it’s for money
- If you don’t think you can do better
- If it’s to make your parents happy
- Failed Marriage Proposals: People Who Said No, Reddit Posts
- My Boyfriend Has Proposed 16 Times—Why I Have Yet to Say Yes
- A marriage proposal in every country
- I’m commitment-shy
- Proposals keep the romance alive
- The proposals help us keep talking about what we want in our relationship
- I value my independence
- Getting married is easy, getting divorced is not
- I want to protect my finances
- I don’t need to prove anything
- Will I ever say yes?
- Why you should say no to his marriage proposal
- What if she says no to your proposal?
- What to do in the moment when your proposal is turned down
- What to do in the next few days
- What to do in the longer term
- People Who Turned Down Proposals – Stories of People Who Rejected Proposals
- 1. A Dog Is a Man's Best Friend…Right?
- 2. Sometimes, You Both Get a Happily Ever After
- 3. That One Line No One Wants to Hear, , Ever
- 4. Well, That Explains It
- 5. All You Have to Do Is Wait a Couple of Decades, Then Try Again
- 6. You'll Feel Secondhand Embarrassment Just Reading This
- 7. When One Door Closes, Another One Opens
- 8. If At First You Don't Succeed..
- 9. She Could Sense It Coming
Here are the times you should reject a marriage proposal
Being presented with a ring and a ‘Will you marry me?’ is pretty big.
However, not everyone will feel the happiness and joy that they’re supposed to – in fact, they might feel the exact opposite.
They could feel they have to say yes, so their partner isn’t disappointed – or they could just think ‘May as well’.
New dad forced to watch birth of his first baby on Zoom because of coronavirus
Others will get married just because it suits the lifestyle they want to lead – even though there’s no love involved.
If this sounds you, close that ring box and hand it back with a firm ‘No’.
Marriage should be about love – if you’re thinking about tying the knot for any of the following reasons, think again.
If you would feel guilty for saying no
Let’s get something straight. If you reject someone’s marriage proposal, you are not a bad person – nor should you feel guilty, if it’s not what you want.
Yes, the person being rejected will feel pretty sh*t, but they will get over it.
It’s much better to tell them no now, than to say yes guilt, get married to someone who isn’t right for you, then watch as your relationship crashes and burns, leading to divorce.
That, or you continue to suffer in silence, and your marriage is utterly miserable.
Neither scenario sounds much fun. Probably best to skip those options and just be honest from the start.
If you’re marrying for convenience
There are many reasons why someone may get married because it’s convenient.
Maybe your careers are compatible – one’s a lawyer, the other’s a banker, so you’ll never be hard up and you can have a comfortable lifestyle.
My friend told me he knew a couple that. ‘They’re f***ing miserable at home, don’t sleep in the same bed, but they’re both rich and go on nice holidays together – which they actually spend apart,’ he told me.
Living the dream, clearly.
Perhaps there’s some other form of personal gain – the marriage would grant you citizenship or right of abode in a certain country, for example.
Student fills room with 60 plants so she can spend lockdown with her cats in a mini jungle
Needless to say, exploiting a legal loophole is a guaranteed way to increase your risk of the legal consequences.
Marriages in medieval times were sometimes marriages of convenience – royal families across Europe were wedded to each other because this would strengthen ties, peace, safety and networking.
We’re not still living in medieval times – there’s no need to get married so you can improve your connections.
Whatever the reason, if you’re not getting married purely because you love the other person, don’t do it.
If it’s for money
‘Having a career is great, but if you find yourself a nice rich man, there’s no need to work!’ I was laughingly told when I was about 8 years old.
Worst life advice ever.
If you want money, go out and earn it yourself. Getting married to a rich person so you can sponge off them is the best way to ensure you live a life filled with luxury goods – but devoid of real happiness.
Sure, having a super-expensive diamond ring presented to you might be nice, and it would look pretty, sparkling away on your finger – but I’d much rather be presented with a Haribo ring from a partner I’m actually in love with.
If you don’t think you can do better
‘Well, I may as well,’ you think, as you look at the ring being extended to you.
No. Stop right there. ‘I may as well’ is what you think when you’re considering whether or not it’s worth ordering a takeaway for the third night in a row, not when you’re deciding whether to commit to one person for the rest of your life or not.
When you order that takeaway, do you pick whatever’s going, even if you have no strong feelings about it?
Will you pick the first option that pops up, just because it’s food, and you may as well spend money on whatever’s there?
Perhaps you’ll go for a salad as well, just because you figure you should give the healthy eating thing a go – just to chuck the wilting lettuce away when it arrives.
If you do, you need to reevaluate your life choices. Pick your takeaway what you love to eat – and the same goes for your partner.
Choose someone who’s perfect for you – not someone who will do.
If it’s to make your parents happy
Of course, it’s always a good idea to check in with your parents regularly, get advice and support, and it’s great if they approve of your partner.
But if your parents love your partner more than you do, it doesn’t then follow that you should marry that person.
Sure, your parents will be happy, but they don’t have to commit to that person for the rest of their lives. You do.
If the marriage won’t make you happy, don’t sign your life away by saying yes. You’ll be regretting the ‘I do’ before you’ve even said the words out loud.
MORE: The 6 types of relationship you need to have experienced before you even consider marriage
MORE: In defence of dating apps – How I met my fiance on Tinder
MORE: Mother and daughter behind £335,000 sham marriage scam jailed
Failed Marriage Proposals: People Who Said No, Reddit Posts
A marriage proposal is a high-risk proposition, as you can never be certain what your partner will say— even if you’ve flown in their estranged great aunt or have arranged for Seal to serenade them in front of thousands of people.
Here’s what 14 people who rejected a proposal have to say about the whole experience. It’s pretty awkward.
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1. “I was proposed to at the captain’s dinner on a cruise ship in front of the entire dining room. We had discussed marriage, and we had both agreed we weren’t ready, just two weeks beforehand.
I said ‘yes’ so as not to embarrass him, then when we got back to the room told him ‘no’ and confronted him for putting me on the spot.
We got into such a violent argument that we had security called on us and were forcibly separated for a night because the neighbors were afraid for our safety.”
2. “When I was 16, I dated a guy who was 18. We weren’t serious or anything. Just fun group-type dates. One night completely the blue, he proposed. I was so shocked I just blurted out, ‘No.’ Then he spent the rest of the date trying to convince me. I told him I was way too young to even think about that.”
3. “It was my sophomore year of high school, and we had been dating for two months. He legitimately asked his mother for his grandmother’s wedding ring, and she agreed to give it to him so he could propose. Beautiful ring, crazy family.”
4. “I caught my then-boyfriend talking to another girl online and confronted him. To prove his love, he asked me to marry him, to which I replied, ‘Next time you propose to a girl, you better be on one knee, have a ring in your hand and you sure-as-hell need to pronounce her last name right!'”
5. “My mom said ‘no’ to my dad twice. And the third time, she was just , ‘Okay. He’s persistent; I’ll give him that. What do I have to lose?’ They had two kids and then divorced and now she hates him, and he’s secretly still in love with her. It’s weird.”
6. “We were pretty young, both 18, and he was going through a lot of emotional upheaval because his best friend had committed suicide just six months before.
I felt incredibly bad for him, and turning him down was super awkward, despite how crazy it was that he was even asking.
I haven’t even spoken to him in over half a decade, and sometimes I wonder where he is and if he’s doing any better now.”
7. “My ex contacted me via text a couple of days after Thanksgiving, asking me if we could get married and run away together. When I told him that was a little strange, he lost his mind, accusing me of judging him. And that is why I said no. That is also what made it incredibly awkward.”
8. “My ex asked me to marry him (we weren’t together at the time) at work though IM so he would have someone to write home to when he left for the military. I said ‘no’ because that’s stupid, and he had been seeing his ex while seeing me. He left soon after, and we never spoke again.”
9. “I said ‘no’ because you don’t get engaged to convince yourselves you have a stable relationship that will make it for the long haul. You get engaged because you’re already convinced you will. A ring is not a magical relationship Band-aid.
10. “I said ‘no.’ Twice. To the same man. We had only been together a few months, and he’d been married more than a few times before. The first time I said ‘no,’ he cried and cried and cried. A couple of hours later, he asked again. I again said ‘no,’ telling him it was too soon.
Then I let my mother get in my ear with her ‘don’t let this one go’ bologna. I said ‘yes’ the third time, on the condition our engagement lasted a year. He and my mom steamrolled me, and we married a couple months later. I put him on my health insurance, and he had three surgeries that he’d put off because he couldn’t afford it, then moved in with our realtor.
He was engaged less than two weeks later. Our entire marriage lasted eight months.”
11. “My ex proposed to me prematurely. I did see a future with him, but we were only 18 months into our relationship. He was in a bind.
He had an incredible career opportunity across the country, and they would fund a move for him and his spouse. Without that funding, I could not make the move at that point.
I thought about it for a few days and decided that it wasn’t the right choice for me. He told me I was wrong and walked away. I have no regrets at all.”
12. “We had been together for one month, and he proposed in a sea plane on my birthday. It was a surprise, and he was short $75 for the plane when we got there, so I had to spot him.
He brought out a ring and asked me to look into the camera and say what was happening ‘so we can replay this moment at our wedding.’ I told him to put the camera down and gave the ring back when we landed.
13. “I said ‘no’ because it was a game for him to keep me around. I knew our first big fight he would throw it in my face. I wasn’t going to put up with that.”
14. “I said ‘no’ to her. She was nice, but I had never met her. It was just as weird for her. We were both 18 at the time. Say ‘no’ to arranged marriage. I’m glad my parents chilled out after that.”
All posts have been edited from Reddit for length and clarity.
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My Boyfriend Has Proposed 16 Times—Why I Have Yet to Say Yes
From the top deck of the Viking Sea cruise ship, we gaze out at the islands of Antigua and Barbuda shimmering in the sun. My boyfriend gets down on one knee, says “I love you,” and asks me to marry him.
It’s my seventh proposal in the last seven days. I smile, tell him I love him too, and give him a big kiss. Then I ask if he wants to join me at the onboard spa or if he’s going to read his book on our veranda.
Not the least bit concerned that I haven’t responded to his question, he tells me he’ll be admiring the view from the ship’s lounge with a cocktail and his book. We meet up a few hours later to chat about our afternoons over a pre-dinner snack of tuna sashimi and crab legs. Something similar will ly happen again tomorrow.
A marriage proposal in every country
My boyfriend—let’s give him some anonymity and call him Mr. Negroni, after his cocktail of choice—is ever the romantic. He proposes marriage every time we go to a new country together.
Over the course of our nearly five-year relationship, we’ve been to 16 countries so that’s at least 16 marriage proposals, not including the ones at home in Canada.
While I don’t say no, neither do I say yes.
This can cause freakouts by anyone who happens to overhear the proposal (he tends to keep the bent knee ones for more secluded places, his incredibly romantic proposal on a Montevideo, Uruguay rooftop as we watched the sun set into the Rio de la Plata). If you’re curious, this is why men get down on one knee to propose.
His frequent proposals and my lack of response suit us just fine. So why haven’t I said yes?
I’ve been married (and divorced) once before. Marriages can be wonderful but divorces, even the ones where everyone is on their best behavior, are not. You could say, I’m once bitten, twice shy.
Mr. Negroni is patient with me though. He didn’t mind that I dragged my feet at…ummm…”going steady” and that I didn’t say “I love you” until I was absolutely sure I meant it. I delayed agreeing to live together too.
Perhaps the inconvenience of going back and forth to each other’s apartments was a test for us both to see if we were really ready? Regardless, Mr. Negroni doesn’t judge me for being commitment-phobic.
And not judging your partner is one of these 15 signs that your relationship is solid as a rock.
Proposals keep the romance alive
Courtesy Johanna Read
His proposals are romantic, sometimes serious, and sometimes silly. The one amongst the rainbows formed by immense Iguazu Falls, which border Brazil and Argentina, was straight a rom-com.
Our 11-day sailing with Viking Ocean Cruises stopped in nine different countries, which meant not only almost-daily proposals but the need to remember to do them. That meant a last-minute proposal on a stairwell as we were pulling port in St. Lucia when Mr.
Negroni blurted out “oh! I almost forgot, will you marry me?” I burst out laughing. The couple walking behind us exchanged hilarious glances but politely pretended they hadn’t heard us.
A little romance, especially when it’s not taken too seriously, is good for a relationship, regardless of its legal status. Here are another 28 little things you can do right now to make your marriage happier.
The proposals help us keep talking about what we want in our relationship
Our relationship isn’t stagnant and we have conversations about what we want and don’t want it to be. Sometimes they’re during a walk or dinner at home, and occasionally they’re on the deck of a Viking ship over a delicious meal with a stunning view (sometimes accompanied by a negroni too).
We trust each other to say what we really think, knowing that honesty ensures we can deal with any problems when they arise and not after they’ve festered. The frequent proposals remind us to keep thinking about the future and talking about what we want it to look in no-pressure conversations.
I value my independence
Courtesy Johanna Read
I’m perhaps on the extreme edge of wanting to be self-reliant and independent. An example is our trip to Buenos Aires. Mr. Negroni was the one who’d figured out the map and the bus system, yet I couldn’t stop myself from walking ahead of him, needing to lead the way even when I had no idea where we were going. (Yes, he mentioned this during the proposal in Argentina.)
Mr. Negroni is more than fine with my independent streak, always encouraging me to live the life that I want. He understands my insatiable need to travel and loves that travel keeps changing me.
He encourages me to go, even when it meant missing his birthday, Valentine’s Day, and needing to leave him in the hands of friends (yes, and a doctor’s too) for surgery.
After all, travel helps me grow— I’ve been to 60 countries but these are the six that changed me forever.
Getting married is easy, getting divorced is not
While Mr. Negroni and I are planning a life together, we both know that life-long commitments don’t always work out that way. In many countries, people can get married almost at the drop of a couple of pieces of ID. Getting divorced involves expensive lawyers and months, if not years, of time.
I want to protect my finances
Courtesy Johanna Read
I worked hard to earn my money and scrimped and sacrificed to have savings. I want to decide what happens to it, not a court. I don’t expect anyone to pay for my life, and I don’t want to be obligated to pay for anyone else’s.
Laws—initially created to support women who stayed at home to raise kids and manage the household—now seem to have the opposite effect for many women I know. Several of my friends feel trapped in their unhappy marriages because they can’t afford to lose half their salary and half their pension to husbands who chose jobs that were fun but not well-paying or chose not to work much at all.
I don’t think Mr. Negroni would ever do that. But I’ve seen firsthand how the end of a marriage can make people’s personalities change, insisting they receive every entitlement and forgetting past verbal agreements and typical definitions of fairness. I don’t want to ever be in that position again.
I don’t need to prove anything
There was a time when people were pretty judgy about whether a woman was married or not, making all sorts of assumptions about her.
For example, some people consider marriage to be a status symbol thinking you are only “worthy” if you’re hitched and others still attach a stigma to being single. Thankfully, those days are (pretty much) over.
Need inspiration? Here’s what these women love about being single.
I don’t care what other people think about my relationship with Mr. Negroni. I only care about what he and I think about it.
Will I ever say yes?
We’ll see! This is how long the average couple dates before getting married, so we’re not too far off the mark. Maybe I’ll surprise him one day by saying yes. Maybe we’ll go on another cruise and I’ll give him a daily proposal (but if he’s not ready to say yes—or no—that’ll be fine by me).
It’s fun to dream about romantic weddings (a beach wedding in the Maldives has certainly crossed my mind). But what’s important to me is a happy relationship, not the label or legal status we put on it, nor an event that marks just one step in it.
Besides, delaying marriage can make you a better partner.
istock/kupicoo Emma Kapotes pink panda/Shutterstock
Why you should say no to his marriage proposal
By Joy Carole (www.joycarole.com)
ALSO READ: How coronavirus is altering online dating
Eight months ago, one of my dreams almost came true. Besides being stupefied, the questions that ran through my mind when he asked me to marry him cannot be put in writing. Sadly, at that moment, the right answer was no. I know this never made sense to him but looking back, the choice I settled on ended up being beneficial to both of us.
Quite recently, destiny led me to the paths of young ladies who were dying to be in the same situation I was in. Hearing them talk about getting married and even putting deadlines on when it should happen was something I could not stop pondering about.
Weirdly, all through these conversations, I was tight lipped. I could only see girls who were outrageously excited about a part of life; that required them to change a lot about themselves before living it.
From what I gathered and the reasons why I said no to my man, I came up with some of the factors which show that a lady is not ready for marriage.
You might just not be set to sport a wedding gown and walk down the aisle if …
1. You have no control over your life.
This can be substantiated by the fact that everything you do is controlled by external factors and not you. It could be your friends, circumstances, family, colleagues and the world in general. At the end of it all, they make you lose your voice and determine everything you do.
Lacking control also leads you to not having a plan for your life, finances, job and goals.
It is a sure sign of the confusion you are in and if you get married in such a state, you will be the one to make both of you lose direction. Take time and plan for your life before settling down.
Your capability to do this and hold your own means you will also be able to do the same when you tie the knot.
2. You still are holding on to your bad addictions
ALSO READ: Stay-at-home date ideas during coronavirus lockdown
Be it alcohol, pornography, drugs, overspending, flirting or being a busy body, your unhealthy addictions are a red flag which show you are miles away from taking the plunge.
If you plan to end up with a sober, clearheaded husband; seek help, talk to someone or even engage your man in helping you get back your life.
Try as much to work on breaking loose from your addictions through controlling them and not letting them run your life.
3. Your career is in shambles
When you have no clue of where your job or business is heading to; and your career is struggling to be on its feet, you should be worrying about it and not saying “I do”. Your career or business also make an integral part of your life because they show your strength, abilities, growth and earmark your capability in being successful.
When you are in utter disarray, for instance you have no job security, you only make profit once in a blue moon and you have been working for so long without growth, then you need to go back to the drawing board and fix it. There is only so much love can do; sustaining you financially when your man is incapable is something that can't happen – get your sources of income right.
4. Your worst weaknesses are still a problem
We all have weaknesses that stand out; for example being temperamental, quarreling at all times, talking without listening, always jumping into conclusion; getting violent when pushed to the wall, being petty or constantly sharing our relationship problems with the world.
Whatever it is, everyone is a work in progress but you can't always be a work in progress without results. Results are important in showing you are actually changing and getting better. Go slow on the marriage plans if your one awful weakness is still making you everyone's nightmare. Work on it, get some results and pick from where you left.
ALSO READ: Confessions: My self-pleasuring habit has left me lonely and unfulfilled
5. Your partner's major imperfections are worrying
There is no excuse for you to get hitched with a man who has obvious critical weaknesses that need to be changed.
This could be beating you, cheating on you, disrespecting you, alcoholism, trying to control you or never listening to you. As you are working on your weaknesses, your partner should too.
His readiness to get married determines your preparedness too. When his major imperfections are still a problem, then you need to give him time to improve on himself.
For More of This Stories Subscribe to the Standard Epaper to get a copy of Eve Woman in the Standard
6. Your have poor communication skills
If you believe communication is shouting, wrangling, talking back, silent treatment, pouting, fighting; departing or ignoring the problem, then you got it all wrong.
Step back and teach yourself how to listen before turning violent, holding a conversation to the end, giving your partner the opportunity to talk, seeking solutions to the problems and having constructive conversations that will better your life and relationship. Proper communication is what can sustain your marriage; and if you cannot do it beforehand, you will always have a myriad of misunderstandings.
In addition to this, be a shrewd financial planner. Both your monies need to be used wisely and productively. Start doing this as an individual because if you know how to handle yours, it will be easy planning for the two of you.
People always say you can never get ready for marriage, true; but that does not mean you just walk into one as a mess. If you are messy, expect a messy marriage.
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The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke
What if she says no to your proposal?
by Lars Larsen
June 4, 2017 / Bridal & Dress Jewellery
A proposal is a huge moment in your relationship and in your life. You’ve been imagining a future of marriage with your partner – but what if you propose and they say no? How can you cope with a rejection, and can your relationship survive?
What to do in the moment when your proposal is turned down
Remember that it’s absolutely normal to feel hurt or distressed if your partner turns you down, but it’s not okay to act badly towards them. Yelling at them, getting angry, or feeling entitled to a yes will not help persuade them to marry you – quite the opposite. Stay classy and try to be understanding of their feelings, and respect their decision.
It will feel tempting to try to argue with them – to say that they really ought to marry you for reasons X, Y, and Z. If you feel that you should be together as a married couple then you may want to explain to them all the good reasons for getting married. However, resist this urge. You cannot logic someone into wanting to marry you, and you should avoid pressuring them to say yes.
This is a good reason to avoid proposing in a public setting. It might seem romantic to plan a proposal at a ball game or concert in front of an audience of thousands, but this puts undue pressure on your partner. Make sure that they know that whatever their answer is, you will accept it, because you love and respect them.
What to do in the next few days
It’s ly that both you and your partner could benefit from some space after a proposal is turned down. Give yourself a few days to think and to allow yourself to feel sad and heartbroken. You will need some time to process your feelings about your relationship.
During this time, stay off social media. You don’t need to see constant updates about what your partner is doing, and it’s not tactful to discuss your relationship problems on a forum where your partner can see. Instead, reach out to friends and family on the phone and let them know that you could do with their support.
What to do in the longer term
You need to think about your relationship, and in particular why you and your partner are not on the same page regarding marriage.
It might be that turning down the proposal means that you will break up, so you should be prepared for this possibility.
However, it may be that your partner wants to stay with you, but does not want to marry you (yet). In this case, it’s time to dig into the details.
It could be that your partner turned you down because of personal or political issues that they have with marriage.
Some people do not agree with the history of marriage as an institution, or object to it on the grounds that it is an option only available to some couples.
In this case, you could consider having an unofficial commitment ceremony, or a special celebration on your anniversary, where you and your partner affirm your commitment to each other.
Another possibility is that your partner may want to marry you in the future, but feels that now is not the right time. Take stock of your life currently: do you have a secure living situation, stable employment, and enough money to pay for a wedding? If not, you may want to wait until your lives are more settled before proposing.
Finally, you and your partner might not yet be at the point in your relationship where you are ready for marriage. There’s no set time for which you need to be together for you to propose, but you do need to have a very solid and strong relationship before you take on a lifetime commitment.
If you have doubts or uncertainties about your relationship, then you need to work on these before you get married – remember, marriage is not a way to fix a troubled relationship! The decision to marry should be a happy decision for you and your partner, not an anxious one.
While most couples ask for a monetary contribution to financially kickstart their lives or already have a gift registry emailed and posted,…
Bridal & Dress Jewellery Read More >
People Who Turned Down Proposals – Stories of People Who Rejected Proposals
The day your significant other proposes to you has the potential to be the best day of your life.
It's the time when your partner has the chance to show you how well they know you and how much they care. But…
what happens when the person who proposes gets brutally rejected? These people took to Reddit to share their rejection stories. Some of these burn — but, fortunately, others have a happy ending.
1. A Dog Is a Man's Best Friend…Right?
“She said no, I got a dog and a case of beer and lived happily ever after.” —Doublej03
2. Sometimes, You Both Get a Happily Ever After
“I proposed after three-ish years of dating and one year of living together and she said no. I was offering her my great-grandparents wedding ring. That was Friday night. By Sunday night, after a trip to her parents, she came back and told me that she was gay. That was 22 years ago.
Since then I have been married for 16 years to the next woman I dated. My wife has the wedding ring that I offered to my ex. The gay girlfriend has been with her partner for nearly 22 years. I have a daughter and they have a girl and a boy. I love them and they are just the best people ever. This is a bullet we both dodged.” —prohaska
3. That One Line No One Wants to Hear, , Ever
“I wasn't denied during a proposal, but 99 percent sure she realized I was going to propose and bailed before I had the chance. Eight years and change together, everything seemed totally fine, we talked about a future together plenty of times, engagement rings, jobs, housing, kids, etc.
The job and housing parts were going forward, and she had shown me rings and talked weddings plenty so it felt it was time to finally do that. I bought a ring, tried planning some neat trips to take her on for an awesome proposal, they kept not happening, finally decided I was just going to do it around New Year's, but right before that she bailed.
Timing was just so perfect for her not to have figured it out.
Never really got an explanation, just the general, 'I love you but I'm not in love with you.'
One of those kind of generic statements that you hate to get, especially after so long, but at the same time I'm sure there was plenty of legitimacy to it. We met when we were young and we grew into different people. People change a lot between the mid-teens and mid-twenties.
We tried to maintain a friendship for a while after that but it was super hard for me because I was still totally into her. I had to basically drop off the map entirely for a year or so because we shared the same social circle and I just got so incredibly uncomfortable around her.
No hard feelings I guess at the end of the day, it sucked, but it wasn't something awful happened between us. Eventually, we just stopped talking. She drifted to a new social group, I got back in mine, life goes on. Definitely not where I expected to be at this point in my life, though.
4. Well, That Explains It
“She said no and then confessed that she had been sleeping with my brother.” —HeavyRemorses
5. All You Have to Do Is Wait a Couple of Decades, Then Try Again
“In 1988, I asked the love of my life to marry me. She said no. In a funk, I left town and went on with my life. Married another girl, had a son, years went by. My marriage was pretty bad, so after 16 years we divorced.
My friends convinced me to join ; they said it would help meet girls and stuff. A few months into , I get a [private message] from the past. The love of my life had also married, had kids, and divorced.
This is 25 years after my proposal and her rejection. There's a lot more to the story, but six months after that first PM on we were married and I was happy for the first time in decades.
We are still going strong, with our sixth anniversary coming up in a few weeks.” —NAsentia
6. You'll Feel Secondhand Embarrassment Just Reading This
“Not sure if this counts as a denied proposal… I think it is. My boyfriend and I have been together for five-ish years or so, so I was trying to kind of hint that I want to be engaged. We had talked about getting married before, and we were both on board. We had both lived together since we very first started dating.
So I told him I need to talk to him about something. I made a nice dinner and asked him, 'Will you marry me?' and he said, 'Oh of course I want to marry you, you know that.' I was unsure of his answer, so I asked, 'OK, so we are gonna get married? we are engaged?' and he said, “I mean, some day, yes.'
I lost sleep over it. I was so embarrassed, and he wasn't phased. Come to find out he had no idea it was a proposal. So we sat down and talked about becoming engaged and then boom! Engaged. Picked a date that night, and started announcing to family a couple days after.” —ancientpsychicpug
7. When One Door Closes, Another One Opens
“We had been together on and off for five years. She kept coming back and telling me she couldn't live without me, then get sick of my shit and drop me for a few months at a time. (And make no mistake, I was a no-esteem whiner back then).
She knew I am the marrying type, but she could not commit. Finally, after I had moved into my own apartment away from roommates, she asked to move in.
I basically countered with a marriage proposal, knowing in the back of my head she would ly say no. That's what happened, and we never got back together.
Eighteen months later, I met the woman of my dreams and now we have been happily married for over 15 years. Worked out just fine, thanks :)” —Toothygrin1231
8. If At First You Don't Succeed..
“I asked her twice, over the course of five years. She said no twice, so I told her I wouldn't ask again. Five years later she proposed to me in a hotel called 42 ( I'm a huge Hitchhiker's Guide fan) using an iPod (I'm a huge gadget fan). I said yes.Married for 12 years now.” —joe_archer
9. She Could Sense It Coming
“Dated this girl off and on for 12 years. Most recently we had been together six years. We're on a trip to the Philippines and we're swimming in this beautiful lagoon. I decide it's the perfect setting to propose.
I begin with 'hey, baby,' and she must have heard it in my voice because she turned around and said 'doooon't do it.' Took the wind my sail real quick. She eventually said yes a few months later in Australia.
(Answers have been lightly edited for spelling and grammar.)
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